


Pink Recovery

by nic73



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-11
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2018-01-04 08:10:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 56,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nic73/pseuds/nic73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts as Jane is leaving the hospital and moving in to Lisbon's apartment, as where else is he going to go. A story about a man trying to figure out his place in a world that is foreign to him and the woman who leads the way.</p><p>Final chapter posted. Thanks to everyone for reading and especially those who sent kudos, it was always great to receive them. Hope you enjoy the ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He's finally getting out of the hospital. He tried for two weeks to persuade the doctor to let him out earlier but she wouldn't be moved and he made himself pretty unpopular with the nurses. When it became obvious that the lady was not for turning, he had to work hard at getting back into their good graces for the rest of his stay. They particularly didn't like his stunt of mixing up the dinner trays, so everyone was given the wrong meals, he made sure that he kept everyone on their prescribed dietary requirements. He was very happy with the fuss that ensued but it didn't get him his ticket out, only the wrath of the entire floor Calling in a favour, owed by an old friend, that brought the touring cast of Hairspray visiting the floor, had succeeded where his apologies and his best smiles had failed. He pointed out that the stamina and muscle strength it took to move all the trays in the time allotted surely showed he was well enough to go home, the doctor had only smiled at him and said,

"Beware of payback"

The night that followed had been a sleepless hell of agony, which the nurses seemed to take a little too much sadistic satisfaction from.

It feels strange being back in his suit that Cho has brought him from his motel room. It's as though it belongs to a different life. Things have changed since he last wore one. The weight of all the fabric feels heavy on his weakened frame. It's weighed down with the guilt that he carried around for so many years. It's woven itself into the fabric. It gives off the scent of regret and sorrow. He's not that man any more Red John is gone, his life has changed. He will ask Lisbon to buy him something else to wear. He doesn't know yet what that will be, what would he feel comfortable in now?

He's sitting on the edge of the bed, as all the preparations in getting ready to leave have wiped him out. He's signed everything and is just waiting for Lisbon to arrive to take him back to her place. He had to agree to that arrangement or his departure would have been delayed even further. The doctor says she doesn't trust him on his own to keep to her instructions. In truth although he hates being a burden, he wasn't looking forward to going back to the motel room. A nurse enters the room pushing a wheelchair. Jane looks at it with disdain.

"Is that for me?"

"It sure is."

"Do I really have to use it."

"Hospital policy. Agent Lisbon called to say she's sorry she was delayed but is on her way and will be here in fifteen minutes."

Jane gives an exaggerated sigh.

"At least she's apologised."

"She wasn't saying sorry to you."

Jane raises his eyebrows and the nurse breaks in to a smile.

Come on climb in, Let's go for a walk while you're waiting. It'll keep you out of trouble."

Jane hesitates and then sits in the wheelchair. The nurse wheels him out of the room and they head towards the day room. Jane can hear the murmur of voices. As he's enters the room he sees a banner stretched along the wall.

'Good bye Patrick'

The room is filled with nurses and patients healthy enough to move, and they are holding aloft a plastic cup each. One is shoved in to Jane's hand.

In the middle of everyone is Dr. Polly.

"We only do this for our more notorious patients and we can most definitely say that we've never had a patient like you before. We want to wish you well and make sure that you actually leave."

"Here here"

Echos around the room. Jane joins in the laughter and then clears his throat.

"Thank you everyone but believe me you have no worries I will definitely be leaving as soon as my ride gets here. But I would like to thank you for all that you have done for me."

He raises his glass and takes a drink. He scrunches his nose.

"Water?"

"That's all you're allowed on your tablets Patrick."

Lisbon parks her car and makes her way quickly across the car park towards the hospital entrance. She knows that Jane will be itching to get out of there. He's probably been ready for hours. She'd hoped to make it a lot earlier, but, a murder, as usual, got in the way. This day has been along time coming and probably even longer for the hospital staff. Lisbon hopes she's thought of everything that Jane may need while he's at her place. She's trying not to freak out about the fact that there will be someone there all the time, she's so use to going home to an empty place. She cherishes the time by herself and not having to answer to anyone. She's certain that Jane will be a demanding patient. But when the doctor told her that she couldn't allow Jane to go home to an empty place, she knew she had to offer her home to her friend. Jane still in the hospital was driving everyone crazy. She just hopes their friendship will survive living together. After finding that Jane isn't in his room, she notices that the floor is practically empty. She can hear voices and then smiles as she recognises Jane's dulcet tones. At the door to the day room she takes in the scene.

"I thought you'd left without me."

"Lisbon about time. Get me out of here."

"Is that nice Jane after all this effort?"

"Effort appreciated and acknowledge now let's go."

Doctor Polly laughs

"You better get him out of here."

Jane gives everyone a wave and Lisbon takes the wheelchair.

"Okay let's get going. Thanks for everything, I'll get him out of your hair."

As they enter the lift Jane throws back his head and gives a big smile.

"Free at last. Lisbon I've suddenly got a yearning for a blueberry muffin. Can we stop and get one."

"I would prefer to get you home and sorted,"

"Oh please Lisbon, I would really like one, and I have just come out of hospital. Surely you wouldn't say no to a man who has been denied the pleasures of the outside world for three months."

"Okay I guess we can stop."

"Fantastic and can we stop and get some shoes, Cho didn't bring me any."

Lisbon looks down and sees that his feet are bare.

"Jane you don't need shoes right now, you're not going anywhere."

"Please..."

Lisbon rolls her eyes, this is not getting off to a great start.

"Right! Are you going to be okay?"

Lisbon looks anxiously at Jane. He's settled on her couch with a Sudoku book and reading material laying next to him. The tv remote is also within reach and on the coffee table is a steaming cup of tea, along with his medicines.

"I'll be fine Lisbon, I'm a big boy, I can handle being on my own for a few hours. It's only for the morning, what could possibly happen?"

Lisbon groans.

"Now you have me really worried."

Jane gives a smile

"Don't worry Mom, now off you go."

"Yes, I'm going."

Lisbon grabs her handbag and opens the door, she turns and takes one more look at Jane. He smiles and waves at her, she smiles weakly back and then she's gone.

The smile vanishes along with Lisbon. Jane reaches for his tea, then sits back in to the couch, closing his eyes as he savours the refreshing taste of the warm liquid. Settling in hasn't gone as well as he'd expected. Getting back into 'normal' life is proving difficult, but then there's nothing normal about his life. Yes he's out of the hospital, but, he's in Lisbon's apartment, rather than his own space. Not that he's complaining, she's very welcoming and it's better than being on his own. It's just, it's very strange having her looking after him, being very attentive, he's not sure how to act around her, and there have been some awkward moments that have never entered their relationship before. It's like they're defining their parameters once more. It seems wrong to push her buttons when he's beholden to her. It's all so polite.

And there's the question of his place in the world. He has nothing to do. Of course he had nothing to do in the hospital, but, he's out now, he's healing, he's bored. There's also the question 'what is he going to do?' Does he go back to the CBI? Does he want to go back to the CBI? It was a means to an end, but now he has friends, people who mean a lot to him and, he's discovered, he means a lot to them too. But will it still keep him interested? Does he still want to look at dead bodies.

Finally the biggest 'un-normal' thing in his life - no Red John. He's been a shadow over his life for so long. Occupying every moment of free thought. His time and energy focused on getting the monster, and it's left a gaping hole he's not sure he can fill. The shadow has lifted, and the world outside of the hospital is light, full of bright colours, warm and free. He feels like he's a space traveller that has landed on a new planet, not dissimilar to his home, but, one where there are different rules and no one is able to tell him what they are.

He's always been able to adjust to any situation before him, his brain able to put together and sort through information at speed and present him with an answer, or a plan, so quickly that it seems he doesn't skip a beat. But it's failing him. He's in a fog of indecision and he's can't understand why, or what to do about it. Of course he hasn't mentioned any of this to Lisbon, she has enough concerns without worrying about him.

Lisbon's worried. She's never seen Jane like this before. He doesn't know how to act around her, he seems lifeless and there's no sparkle in his eyes. He seems lost. He wasn't like this in the hospital and she doesn't understand what has happened. . A pain to everyone, anxious to leave. He was in good spirits, welcoming all visitors and when he wasn't being annoying, winning people over with tricks, and was his old self in the last few weeks in the hospital. All the trauma put behind him and ready to move on with his life. They hadn't discussed his plans for the future, she admits to herself, she was afraid that they would take him away from Sacramento, the CBI and her. The first couple of days at her apartment had gone as she'd expected. He was picky, irritating and insufferable. She was ready to call Cho and send him to his place, but she would have that back. Now, he's quiet and submissive and things seem awkward between them, he's so polite. He's not eating well and looks tired and haggard. She's close to calling the doctor. She's ashamed of herself that she was a little relieved at going in to work today, being away, even if only for a few hours. She doesn't know how to react to this Jane, she feels at a loss.

Jane has had his shower, decided not to shave, and has thrown some clothes on. He hasn't been allowed to go shopping yet and so is still in his old clothes. He looks at himself in the mirror. A stranger stares back at him. The clothes hang off him, he's certain he's lost more weight since leaving the hospital. His skin looks dull and his eyes are sunken and tired. He tries a smile and it looks so unnatural on his face that he wonders if he really is fooling Lisbon. With Lisbon gone he'd taken the opportunity to use her shower, he'd been right, it was better than the one in the bathroom. He sits on her bed, feeling tired from his exertions.

Lisbon throws open the car door and realises that, in her haste, she hasn't put it in park. She corrects the mistake, cursing herself for the delay. She fumbles in her bag for her key as she rushes up the steps. She curses again as she drops them as she gets to the door. She calls out Jane's name as she's unlocking it. When she pushes open the door, Jane isn't where she left him, though his phone is on the table flashing away, informing her of the many calls from her that have gone unanswered. There are no signs of anything out-of-order, no struggle has taken place. In the kitchen she finds his cup rinsed on the drainer, the bathroom hasn't been used that morning. She knocks on his bedroom door and gently calls his name, she opens it carefully when there is no reply to find it empty. Each moment she's becoming more frantic, but also relieved at no Jane passed out on the floor, lying in a his blood, after bumping his head. The only room left is hers, but, they had established rule number one was that he didn't enter her room without permission, but this is Jane! She opens the door to find curly blond hair on her pillow and a consultant fast asleep under her covers.

"Jane!"


	2. Chapter 2

Jane!

He begins to stir. He opens his eyes and blinks to clear his vision. He's looks disorientated for a moment. He then sees Lisbon and pulls himself into a sitting position.

"Hey Lisbon, it's that time already?"

"No. You didn't answer your phone I thought something had happened to you, and what are you doing in my bed?"

Jane looks around as if he is only just realising where he is. He looks down at the covers and then at Lisbon. His face is filled with confusion.

"I don't know. I took a shower and got dressed, the last thing I remember is sitting down on the bed."

Jane's confusion wipes away Lisbon's indignation and she sits down next to him on the side of the bed.

"What's going on Jane? I think I should call the doctor."

Jane protests.

"No..no...no need for a doctor."

"I think there is Jane. You're not eating well, you look haggard and you're not yourself. I think you may have left the hospital too early."

"I'm fine Lisbon, just adjusting."

"You're not fine Jane, have you taken a good look at yourself?"

Jane shrugs.

"What's going on? You can tell me or tell a doctor."

Jane rolls his eyes.

I can't believe I fell asleep in Lisbon's bed. I can't remember climbing in. I was sat on the bed feeling exhausted. I know that everything she's saying is right. I'm not fine. I don't know myself any more.

Jane throws back the covers, plastering a smile on his face.

"Doctor's meh! What I need is a cup of tea."

Jane climbs out of the bed while he's talking, on the opposite side to where Lisbon is sitting. He's out the room before Lisbon collects herself. She quickly follows.

"Jane. You're not going to get out of it that easily."

Lisbon enters the kitchen where Jane is filling up the kettle.

"Tell me about your day. Did they throw you a big welcome back party?"

"I've only been gone a week Jane."

"I would've thrown you a party, a day is too long with out you there. The criminals around California will be shaking in their boots at the news that the Great Agent Lisbon is back. Would you like some tea?"

"No Jane I don't."

"Did you say hi to the guys for me?"

"Yes and they send to tell you that they're looking forward to having you back."

Jane busies himself with making his drink. Lisbon goes in to the fridge and pulls out a soda and goes into the living room to sit down and wait for Jane. Jane stops stirring and leans against the counter. He closes his eyes and takes deep breaths.

I don't think I was successful in distracting Lisbon. I'm going to have to come up with something convincing that will satisfy her.

He finishes stirring and removes the tea bag and joins Lisbon. He sits down on the couch and clears his throat.

"I'm sorry I caused you concern so that you had to cut short your day, but I'm perfectly all right. I was tired after taking a shower and dressing. I would have taken my phone in with me, if I'd known I was going to fall asleep. You don't need to worry about me, I'm just adjusting to being on the 'outside'. I just need a little time to realise what I can do and take little steps each day. I've just been trying to do too much. I'll look after myself better. I promise."

Lisbon hadn't missed the look that crossed Jane's face when she'd mentioned going back to work. It was almost fear, but something else within that ran deep and had tore at her heart. She decided that perhaps it wasn't wise to skirt the issue.

"Jane are you coming back to work?"

"Well I'm not ready yet. I will be spending even more time on the couch if I came back now."

Lisbon recognises Jane's tactics.

"I'm not talking about now. Are you coming back when you're well?"

"I guess so."

"You came to us to search for Red John and now that is done, I will understand if you're thinking of moving on. I want you back of course but you have to do what's good for you. You been through a lot and I can see that you may want a safer occupation."

"Lisbon can we not talk about this now, I'm feeling pretty tired."

Lisbon looks at him for a long moment.

"Jane, you're not tired, you just woke up, and you're not telling me the truth. Remember, in the hospital, when you said you would be honest with me. You know you can trust me with whatever it is."

Jane looks into his teacup, then up at the ceiling and then off to the side. . He feels panic rising up inside him. He has to squash an overwhelming desire to run out of the room. He does remember the promise and he remembers that she's someone that has proven he can trust his darkest feelings with. He's been so stupid to hide from her. He takes a deep breath.

"I'm lost."

Jane allows his raw emotions to show through with his statement. The fear and confusion are written on his face. Lisbon almost gasps at the depth of the anguish she sees. She moves to sit nearer to him. she places her hand on top of his.

"In what way Jane?"

Jane looks at her. The feel of her hand on his brings warmth and comfort. It brings with it the assurance of stability, foundation and friendship. Without realising that he's made the decision, he trusts her with everything that's going on in his head.

"I never expected to be in this position. I didn't expect a life after Red John."

"You expected to be dead or in prison?"

Jane nods.

"Yes, though, it was always my intention to have a plan that wouldn't end either of those ways. I just didn't expect it to be successful and I never gave myself the hope. I didn't want it."

Lisbon is not unsurprised by this. It's not an unusual problem with people who have lost their life's purpose. She's been to a few scenes of people who haven't found the answers. Fear grips her. She has to help Jane, his life is in as much danger now as when Red John was alive.

"I, for one, am very happy that you were proven wrong for once."

Jane gives her a slight smile. Lisbon leans closer to him.

"We can work this out together. I will support you in whatever it is you decide to do."

Lisbon sees a shadow pass over Jane's face.

"What is it? There's more?"

"I..I...I have been filled with revenge for 11 years. It's been my purpose for getting up in the morning. It has driven my every action and decision. Now it's gone and I find that that's all I was."

"That's not true Jane."

"I don't know how to act. I have no base line with which to make decisions. The only decision I seem to be able to make, is what flavour of tea to drink. I can't even decide what clothes to wear. I just know I don't belong in my suits any more."

"You've have a job, you have friends."

"Given to me by my revenge. The way I've conducted that job was determined by my quest. My recklessness with people's lives, feelings and my own life. My interactions with colleagues and friend were influenced by it. Even my relationship with you. It's all been about, not getting too close, not having to worry or care about anyone or anything. Making sure that people don't get in the way or are put in danger. I've lived as a transient, no roots, no belongings. How can I determine what I want to do with my life, when I'm nothing. I'm not the con man in shining suits, I'm not the three-piece avenger.."

Lisbon can't hold in a chuckle. Jane looks at her and shrugs apologetically and shares a smile.

"It seems so cliche to declare that I don't know who am I, but that's the way I feel. I was someone and that person was destroyed and I found another way to be and now that person is gone too. Who do I be now?"

"Revenge wasn't all you were. You were also funny, kind, annoying, found enjoyment in the simple of things - childlike. You are still those things."

Jane shakes his head.

"I don't feel those things. I'm always one step ahead of everyone else in the room. I know what everyone is thinking and feeling, even things they don't recognise in themselves. There is a power in that. It puts me in control and it eliminates most surprises. All I see in my head is confusion and darkness. I feel like I'm drowning Lisbon and gasping for air."

Jane looks at her in desperation.

"I know you're probably disappointed in me right now."

"Jane, of course I'm not disappointed in you. You're one of the bravest men I've ever met. You willing put yourself in a very dangerous situation. Hung yourself out there as bait for Red John. Almost inviting him to come get you, to bring him out in the open. You went about your daily life with no protection, doggedly pursuing this notorious serial killer, with no thought to your own safety."

"That doesn't sound brave, it sounds foolhardy."

"The two often go hand in hand. What I'm saying is that there's a strength in you that will find your way back. It just needs time and patience and a little help."

Jane is shaking his head.

"I'm not going back in to hospital, any hospital Lisbon."

Lisbon sees fear in his face. He's never really said that much about his stay in the psychiatric hospital. She only knows that it helped him, but obviously it also holds some terrible memories for him. She rushes to reassure him.

"I wasn't talking about hospitals Jane but you need to talk to someone."

"I'm talking to you."

"I'm not a professional Jane, I don't know if I can help you."

Jane is pleading with her now, panic lacing his words.

"You helped me before. I know you can help me again. I would have to speak it all again, tell them everything.."

An idea strikes Lisbon. Jane can see it in her face.

"What is it?"

"Will you trust me Jane?"

"You mean you're not going to tell me?"

Lisbon stands up.

"I have some things to do, I'll be gone for just a little while."

She grabs her jacket and starts putting it on. Jane stands up and grabs her wrist.

"Lisbon..."

"Just trust me Jane. Have yourself some lunch and watch one of those nature shows you enjoy so much and I'll be back before it's over."

"Lisbon I just poured my heart out to you and you're just going to leave me?"

Lisbon picks up her purse and looks at him, Jane recognises her stubborn, determined look and knows he's not going to win. He lets her arm drop.

"Jane, which do you prefer, to pour out your inner most feeling to a perfect stranger?.

Jane pulls a face.

"...or put your faith in me for a couple of hours?"

In truth Jane's intrigued and is enjoying the excitement radiating from Lisbon.

"You're a mean-spirited women and I can see why you never went into the more gentler professions."

Lisbon's warmed by the tease and knows that this is a small positive step.

"You would do well to always remember that."

Suddenly Jane takes her in a hug.

"Thank you Lisbon, I await your return."

Bertram looks up from the piece of paper he's reading as Lisbon enters the room. He leans back in his chair.

"Back again already."

"Yes sir. I want to put in for an indefinite leave of absence, starting immediately."

Bertram sits forward.

"But you've just come back Agent."

"I know sir, I'm taking Jane away, he needs some time to sort some things out."

"Is he all right? He is coming back?"

"As I said this morning, I don't know that, but, this will be the best chance of him doing that."

"Well you're certainly owed the time."

"Thank you sir."

Lisbon escapes the room before he tries to change her mind. She's sure she's doing the right thing. She thought about it as she was making her way to Bertram's office. Jane being cooped up in her apartment will not help him in his recovery but she can't send him off somewhere by himself. He's still not fully fit and he needs company and she's certain that it's her company he needs. So the only solution is for them to go away together. Maybe as they explore California, or wherever they decide to go, together, he can recover who he is.


	3. Chapter 3

Lisbon made a couple of stops on her way home but the nature program is still in progress when she walks back into her apartment. Jane's laid on her couch, he looks up as she enters the room.

"The wanderer returns."

He spies the bags in her arms.

"You abandoned me to go shopping?"

"Yea."

She drops the bags on top of him.

"They're for you. Now get yourself off the couch we have some packing to do."

Jane looks at her incredulously and swings his legs around, causing the bags to fall unceremoniously on to the floor.

"Packing? Are we going somewhere?"

"I figured you must be fed up with the indoors by now and that a little fresh air would do you the world of good."

"We're not camping are we, I hate camping. I can sleep very well on a floor, but it's the insects, that share it with you, that puts me off."

He shudders

"Yuck!"

"Honestly Jane, have I ever seemed like the camping type to you?"

Jane looks her up and down and breaks in to devilish smile.

"I can see you in the guide uniform, making fire and putting up tents...or at least yelling at others to do it."

"As it happens I was too busy for such things as guides and the only people I've ever yelled at, on a regular basis, are my brothers and you! Now are you going to get up off that couch or do I need to pull a gun on you."

Jane holds his hands up in the universal sign of surrender.

"Kidnapping now. My my my, you are surprising me today Lisbon."

"I'm going to find you a bag to pack your clothes in. Have a look in the bags and try them on. Hopefully I bought the right size."

Lisbon heads towards her bedroom, leaving a bemused Jane. This is an unexpected, but welcome, very welcome, turn of events. The idea of going away somewhere and getting some fresh air, causes a flutter of excitement in the bottom of Jane's stomach that he's not felt for a long while. He picks up his bags and takes them into his bedroom where he empties the contents on his bed. Lisbon has been clothes shopping for him. He holds up a white button down shirt in a casual cut. It has short sleeves with a faint blue line running through the fabric. He likes what he sees. He removes the shirt he's wearing and tries it on. it fits perfectly. He picks up something in a light blue colour, that look like they could be trousers. He's right, they're of a light brushed fabric that feels soft and comfortable when he puts them on. They are a fraction too big, but, a belt will correct the problem. He removes the one from his discarded pants and after fastening it he looks at himself in the mirror.

"Let's have twirl."

At the sound of her voice he can see her in the mirror and he gives her reflection a bow.

"Good work Lisbon. Kept it classic, I approve."

Lisbon approves as well. She'd been very nervous about her purchases, it's been a very long time since she shopped for a man. And since she's only ever seen Jane in his three-piece suits, it made the job even more fraught. After half an hour of indecision, and the beginnings of a headache, she decided that classic was the safest option to take. And it was only a few outfits, if he didn't like them he could buy something else to replace them. Looking at him through the mirror, she can see she did good, she did very good.

"Here's you're bag, we can go shopping for more clothes later."

Jane's eyes sweep over the pile of clothes on the bed.

"There's enough here for five days, how long are we going for?"

"As long as it takes Jane."

Jane looks at her surprised.

"What about work You've only just returned after a week's holiday."

Lisbon puts her hands in her pockets and rocks back on to her heels.

"I've put in for a leave of absence, I'm owed a lot of time."

Jane moves closer to her, concern on his face.

"Lisbon, I'm really grateful, but you shouldn't have done that. I'm certain I can figure this all out. You don't have to give up work."

"I haven't given up work Jane, it's just a break. A break I think we both need. Since leaving Bertram's office I feel like the world has lifted from my shoulders. I'm excited about it. I think this won't just be good for you."

Jane searches her face for any tell of a lie. He finds none and breaks into a smile.

"I can't deny that I'm sick of looking at four walls, but I can't promise anything, but, you just, might be on to something. An excellent idea."

Jane's excitement warms Lisbon.

"I'm glad you approve. Now get packing, make sure you don't forget anything."

"Yes Mom."

Jane looks at the contents of his bag, mentally going through everything he needs and checks that they are all inside. He zips it up and sits down on the bed. He stares at himself in the mirror. He normally sees a man in dark colours, his body tightly wrapped in a vest, as if, trying to hold in the emotions he's afraid to acknowledge,never mind deal with. A man, afraid of the world that's now his reality, without his wife and child. The vest holding that world under lock and key as he exacted his revenge. The man looking back at him, dressed in pale colours and casual clothes, looks like a man who's confident in himself, happy with the world, and his place within it. He lets out a sigh. He hopes one day that stranger will be him, that he will be comfortable with his new world. Can he really release all that's been locked up for so long, and if he does, can he survive it.

Lisbon is back at the door of his room, holding her bag in her hand. She looks at the man sitting on the bed, staring at the mirror, his arms wrapped tightly around himself, fear in his eyes. The excitement gone. She lets out a sigh. She can't fool herself that this will be an easy fix, but it has to work, it has to!

Lisbon sets her case on top of her bed and looks around her hotel room. She corrects herself, it's not a hotel room, it's a small suite, decorated in simple relaxing colours and furniture. It looks a great place to start healing. Their departure was delayed as they hammered out the details of their trip. There weren't many of them, which Lisbon finds disconcerting, but, she finally had to agree with Jane that it would take too long to make every decision of where they would go. She'd pointed out that they could get cheaper hotel rates by booking in advance, Jane just waved this off saying that he would pay all the hotel costs. She had, of course, protested that she could pay her own way. Jane held his hands up in mock surrender,

"Calm down woman, I wasn't offering to pay for the whole trip, but I do have more money than you, which I don't use very often."

"The trip was my idea and I'm not having you pay for me."

Jane stood, tapping his finger on his lips, then held up his hand in triumph.

"I've got the solution."

"Can't wait to hear it."

"What percentage of the money you have in the bank are you willing to donate to this trip?"

"Percentages? Really Jane."

"Just stay with me. You can just make it an estimated round figure. Just write it down and hand it to me."

She did some quick sums in her head. This was a difficult question as she didn't have any idea how long the trip would take. She decided on a couple of months and maybe three, she calculated how much she needed for bills until she would have a pay check again. As to how much she was willing to spend on her friend's recovery was easy, everything she had left. She wrote down a number and gave it to Jane.

Jane looked at it and raised his eyebrows while letting out a small whistle.

"I'm touched Lisbon. Now I will match that percentage, wouldn't you say that was fair?"

Lisbon suddenly got the feeling she has been had, but it did sound fair. She nods slowly.

"Good, now I'm going to write down in round figures, how much money I will be contributing."

Jane adds his figure to the piece of paper and hands it back. She opens it and can't believe what she's reading. Surely he's put too many noughts on by mistake.

"I assure you Lisbon that's the correct figure. Now, are you going to let me pay for the hotel rooms?, You can pay for the gas and we will share the meals. I am a man of simple tastes these days, but I want to treat you to nice hotel rooms, as a thank you for all you've done for me. Please Lisbon."

She'd been maneuvered into a position, where she couldn't really argue and he looked so sincere in his pleadings that she had relented and money negotiations were ended. Next came where they would start their trip. It was decided it couldn't be too far away, as it was late afternoon already. As they looked at a map, Jane had pointed out Half Moon Bay.

"Do you remember driving through that place on a case six months ago. There was a pretty restaurant that caught your attention, something to do with the name I think."

Lisbon's shocked, not that he'd remembered, as the man remembered nearly everything, but, she hadn't said a word about it. It was the name, it was the same as a restaurant her family used to frequent whenever her parents could treat their family to a meal out. Once her Mother died, they never ate there again, but when she'd seen the sign, wonderful, poignant memories, of happier times had almost overwhelmed her. She hadn't said anything, partly because she couldn't trust herself to speak, and because the car had been full, as they made their way to a crime scene. She'd been lost in memories for a moment when Rigsby had interrupted her thoughts with some benign question. She had said that they didn't have to go there on her account. Jane folded up the map and declared that it was as good a reason as any and it was by the beach so he was happy. Lisbon went to her neighbours to let them know that she was going out of town, and she didn't know how long and would they keep an eye on the place. Jane loaded up the car and they were on their way. Lisbon did the first driving duties as she could see that Jane was getting tired and he'd slept for most of the journey. It took a little longer than they'd anticipated because of an accident, but, they pulled up in front of a hotel that looked over the beach, and Jane declared it as the perfect place to stay.

Lisbon hung up the clothes she would wear tomorrow and clothes to change in to after a shower. When she felt refreshed and presentable for dinner she went to Jane's room, which was next to her's and knocked on the door. She heard him shout from within and she opened the door. Jane was sitting out on the balcony that overlooked the ocean. She walked over to him and took the other chair.

"Isn't this breathtaking Lisbon?"

She looks at the deep blue sea reflecting the cloudless sky, with light dancing off the gentle waves like they were made of little diamonds.

"Yes, it's beautiful Jane."

"When I was travelling with the carnival, I loved it when it was time for the beach tour. We only did it every couple of years but it was the nearest thing I got to a holiday. One summer we had a long term contract at a beach in San Louis Obispo. I befriended a crazy man, who spent every hour of the day on the beach building these amazing sandcastles. He could make the most elaborate creations only for them to be washed away by the tide. He would return the next day, kick down what was left and start all over again. Will you make a sandcastle with me Lisbon?"

Lisbon's taken aback by the unexpected request, she's never made a sandcastle in her life before.

"Don't worry Lisbon I'll teach you?"

"Jane I hate it that you read me all the time."

Jane shrugs.

"I don't, you surprised me with this trip idea. Just sometimes you're an open book to me."

Lisbon scowls at him. Jane places his hands on the arms of the chair and stands up. He holds his hand out to Lisbon, smiling broadly

"Come my dear, let's find that restaurant of yours and have an early dinner, so we have plenty of time to make that sandcastle before the tide comes in."


	4. Chapter 4

The restaurant wasn't anything like the one in Chicago, but, Lisbon hadn't expected it to be. But the food was good and Jane was on top form with the poor wine waiter, who made the mistake of contradicting Jane's wine choice. Jane was itching to get down to the beach and start a sandcastle, so, there was no lingering over a drink afterwards, he promised to make it up to her. To Lisbon, it was just delightful to see Jane's eyes shining like a little kid, that, no promises are needed.

They are now on their way down to the beach and she spies that Jane is suddenly swinging a bucket in his right hand. She has no idea when he picked it up.

"How...Where did you get the bucket?"

Jane looks down at it in surprise, as if, he didn't realise it was there. He inspects it and then looks back up at Lisbon.

"You don't want to know."

Lisbon groaned. Always an ominous statement, and she decides to leave it at that. Jane settles on a place, that apparently, is the perfect spot for sandcastle building, and starts filling his bucket.

"You have to pat it down as you fill it Lisbon to eliminate as many air pockets as possible, and then smooth out the top. This is the tricky bit. You have to turn it over quickly, not allowing the sand to pour out. Now tap the bottom of the bucket and slowly lift. Voila!"

Jane's looking very proud and holds out the bucket towards her.

"Now you have a go."

He flashes her a smile.

Lisbon doesn't move.

"Come on Lisbon, it's easy, little kids do it and you have the perfect teacher."

Lisbon looks at the sand and her clothes, then at Jane. He's already managed to get some sand on his face.

"C'mon Lisbon, you have to get down here."

She's not happy about getting sand on her clothes but knows there's no choice, so she slowly kneels down.

"Well done Lisbon!"

Lisbon smacks him on the arm.

"Ow, violence Lisbon"

"No less then you deserve."

She grabs the bucket off him and starts to fill it with sand.

"Don't forget to pack it down."

She gives him a scowl and then pats down the sand.

"Very good, now you need to turn it over. It needs to be done quickly or the sand moves and the castle will collapse."

"Yes Jane, it's not exactly rocket science."

She turns it over. Jane claps.

"Excellent! Now slowly pull the bucket up."

Jane leans in close, their heads almost touching as Lisbon lifts off the bucket.

"That's it Lisbon, carefully does it."

The bucket comes away clean and a perfect castle's revealed. Lisbon can't help but feel a little proud, despite being acutely aware of the sand that is all over her, even in her mouth. Jane is ecstatic and heaps on loads of praise.

"Great job Lisbon, are you sure you haven't done this before? It's so rare that a person's first sandcastle is perfect."

"Well that could be because I'm a grown up and not four."

Jane cocks his head to one side.

"True, true, or you could have just discovered a new skill, a calling in life. Perhaps, one day, you will surpass the teacher."

"I doubt that Jane."

Lisbon humours Jane by having a couple more goes with the bucket but then sits against the rocks and watches Jane as he creates. His face is a study in concentration except when he catches her eye and smiles. He gave a running commentary on what he's doing, step by step instructions until Lisbon told him to be quiet. She knows she'll probably never make a sandcastle ever again no matter how much fun it looks.

Jane wondered how long it would take her to tell him to shut up. He's impressed it's longer than he's calculated, he was almost sick of hearing himself speak. He's beginning to tire. Sandcastle building turns out to be a rather strenuous activity for his healing body. He adds some finishing flourishes and then takes a bow. Lisbon dutifully applauds. He flops down beside her and leans against the rocks closing his eyes. Lisbon looks at him with concern.

"We need to get you back to your room. you've done too much."

"Meh, it's been a great day though, thank you Lisbon. But if we can just sit here for a while. I need to gather some strength before heading back."

Jane runs his hand through his curls and then when he drops it beside him it lands on top of Lisbon's. He gives it a squeeze.

"You are very good at sandcastles, not as good as me, but very good non the less. Not quite as good as Charlotte, but, almost."

Lisbon catches her breath, Jane has never spoken anything about Charlotte before.

"Her first effort was about two inches high and Angela applauded like mad, she didn't respond though. She wasn't happy with her effort and started scooping the sand back into the bucket. She continued trying time and time again, until it looked like mine."

Lisbon is almost afraid to speak and break the spell. When she looks at him, his eyes are still closed but there's a smile playing on his face.

"She hated failing, and always kept trying until she got it right. It used to drive her mother mad, except when it came to playing the piano. By the time she finished she looked like she was made of sand."

"I know who she gets that from."

Jane opens his eyes and looks over to her.

"I guess it's time we head back before the tide over takes us."

"Sure Jane, let me help you up."

It's a testament to his tiredness that he allows her to do so. He leans heavily on her as they make their way back to the hotel. When they get to his door, he plants a small kiss on her cheek and whispers in her ear.

"I should make sure you get all the sand out of your hair before you go to bed."

Jane takes some pain tablets before climbing in to bed and is soon fast asleep. His head's filled with thoughts of Charlotte on the beach building sand castles as he drifts off. The sky is a shade of blue that Jane has never seen before. It seems to shine like a giant sapphire, the brilliant sun showing off its deep beauty. They have taken off their shoes once they hit the sand, and it slides through their toes like silk. Not a pebble to be found, just beautiful seashells dot the vast golden carpet. Charlotte is anxious to get started on her latest creation and starts to run. Jane allows her a head start before yelling:

"Last one there, gets bucket duty."

and he races after her making sure he stays just behind her. As their preferred spot get close he takes the lead, but, then stumbles, ending up sprawled out on the sand. Charlotte stops and bends down her face filled with concern.

"Are you all right Daddy?"

Jane turns over and quickly reaches up and lifts her off her feet and lands her on his chest.

"Daddy is just fine pumpkin, especially now he has his little girl just where he want her."

He covers her with kisses, Charlotte's caught between laughing and protesting as the sand on her Daddy's face scratches and tickles.

"Aha, now you're weakened I bet I'll win."

He lays Charlotte on the ground, who recovers quickly and is on her feet running before Jane is up off the floor, she crosses the 'finish line' first.

"Daddy you left the buckets"

Jane looks back and the buckets are where he'd fallen to the ground. He ruffles Charlotte's hair.

"Silly Daddy, I'll be right back."

Jane makes his way back to the buckets and is picking them up when he hears Charlotte scream. He spins around and Charlotte is laid on the floor lifeless. He runs towards her and he can see blood all over her and surrounding her. He crouches down, takes her hand and the ice-cold shocks him, lifeless eyes stare back at him, he gathers her up in his arms and hugs her tight, mumbling her name into her hair, rocking back and forth, he opens his eyes and he's back in his house, in his bedroom, looking up at the smiley face.

Jane wakes up abruptly, he's tangled in the sheets and his flails his arms and legs trying to get free. When the covers finally release him he jumps out of bed, he steps into his shoes and is out the door.

Lisbon's woken by the sun shining into her eyes, she groans and makes a note to close her curtains next time. Waking up to the view may sound nice but not when you're facing east. She turns over and blinks trying to remove the spots before her eyes. She climbs out of bed and gathers her things for the shower. It's a weak shower and Lisbon washes as quickly as she can. It had been stronger the night before, as she washed off the sand, but, more people must be using it this morning. Once dressed she knocks on Jane's door so they can go down for breakfast. She gets no reply and knocks again.

"Jane? Jane? It's me Lisbon open the door."

When there's no reply she leans her ear against the door but can hear nothing. She knocks again. Getting no response she goes back into her room and in to the bathroom. She stands and listens but there is no sound that his shower is going. She returns to his door and knocks again. A hotel cleaner is coming out of the room across the hall.

"Are you looking for Mr. Jane?"

Lisbon looks round surprised.

"Yes. Do you know where he is."

"He's downstairs in the staff quarters. I think everyone will be very happy if you go get him."

Lisbon's puzzled and niffed in equal measure as she follows the direction the woman gave her. She condemns him for not letting her know beforehand that he was leaving. She knocks on the door and opens it cautiously. She finds Jane, still in his pajamas at a table with two men and a women, they are playing cards. They all look at her as she stands in the doorway. Jane breaks into a smile and waves her in.

"Lisbon come in."

He speaks to the people at the table.

"This is my best friend and travelling companion, Teresa Lisbon."

They all say hi and Lisbon returns the greeting.

"Jane..."

"These are my new friends Lisbon, Jeffrey the night porter, Brian the night receptionist and Jackie the night manager."

Lisbon nods her head at each one.

"Jane what are you doing here? And in your pajamas."

"I couldn't sleep and I found myself downstairs and these fine people kept me company."

"You've been down here all night?"

"Of course not. They had jobs to do, so we were in reception but once the day people came on, we had to move our game in here."

"Well they probably want to go home and get some sleep before they come back on duty again."

Jane starts to gather up the cards.

"Well I guess that's my cue to finish the game. Thank you guys it's been a pleasure."

He starts to gather up his winnings.

"Leave that Jane. These poor people didn't stand a chance against you and as I've found out, you don't need the money."

Jane stops and looks at Lisbon and then at the money.

"True, true, your company was payment enough. Thank you for being so kind to an insomniac."

His playing companions began to object about his winnings.

"Now you don't want to get me in trouble with the missus do you?"

He winks at them as Lisbon protests. He moves towards her and catching her arm, guides her out of the room.

"Jane let go of me. I'm perfectly capable of walking by myself. Don't do that again, I was getting worried when you didn't answer your door."

"Sorry Lisbon I didn't realise the time."

"What time did you wake up?"

"I don't know.."

Lisbon stops walking and tugs on Jane's arm.

"What time Jane?"

"Ohhhh I guess it was about 2am"

"Which means it was more one, and why didn't you at least put some clothes on?"

Jane shrugs.

"I guess I was distracted."

"What could possibly distract you at one in the morning?"

Realisation hits her.

"You had a nightmare, didn't you?"


	5. Chapter 5

"You had a nightmare didn't you?"

Jane stops and looks at her for a long moment and then nods his head.

"I haven't had one for a long time, not since after Red John's death."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Jane nods and takes Lisbon by the arm.

"Yes, but not here."

He leads her back to his room. He pats himself down and looks sheepishly at Lisbon.

"I forgot to take my key."

Lisbon looks around and sees the maids cart further down the hallway.

"Just wait here a minute and I'll be right back."

Lisbon returns with the maid in tow. Jane shrugs apologetically and gives her a smile.

"Sorry, forgot to take it with me."

"It's perfectly all right Mr. Jane, these things happen."

Lisbon wonders how many other guest end up in the staff quarters playing poker in their pajamas. They thank the maid and enter the room. Jane turns to Lisbon.

"Why don't you order some breakfast from room service while I get a shower and put some clothes on, I'm famished. Some eggs, toast and sausage will be fine...and some tea, of course."

"Sure."

Jane gathers up some clothes and goes in to the bathroom. Lisbon picks up the phone and orders a muffin and coffee for herself, plus Jane's order. Although Jane's been sharing her home and she's heard him in the shower before, it seems strange standing in his hotel room while he's showering. She opens the door and steps out on to the balcony, closing it behind her. The sound of the water muted, she looks out at the view and another beautiful day.

She wonders about her friend and why the nightmares have returned. During the weeks in the hospital he'd shared with her the nightmares that plagued him during his recovery, They were truly terrifying and she hopes this one isn't of the same calibre. This can only mean a step backwards in his recovery, and she wonders if this trip wasn't a good idea after all. She has her hands in her pockets staring out to sea deep in thought, the sound of the door sliding open makes her jump.

"Penny for them Lisbon."

She turns around and before her is a dressed Jane, rubbing his hair with a towel. His curls are all over the place and he looks like a mischievous child as he grins at her.

"You'll need to pay a lot more than that to get into my head."

Jane makes a sweeping gesture with his left arm.

"You can have my entire kingdom M'lady for five minutes inside your head."

He ends with a deep bow. Lisbon replies with a curtsey.

"Really kind Sir, and I thought I was an open book to you."

Jane's saved from replying by a knock on the door and the call of room service.

"Coming"

Jane takes his money out of his trouser pocket and peels off some dollars. He opens the door and steps aside to allow the cart to be wheeled in. He hands the money over and closes the door on the retreating waiter, after being wished a 'meal to his liking'.

Jane scowls when he sees what's on the cart.

"Really Lisbon, that's the best you can do?"

Lisbon shrugs.

"I'm not a breakfast person."

Lisbon picks up her coffee and muffin and retreats back onto the balcony, Jane follows with his plate and drink.

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. It gives you a good start, It wakes up the brain follicles..."

Jane comes to a stop as Lisbon show no interest in what he's saying, the best way she's found to shut him up, when he begins to go on and on.

Jane pouts.

"Be that way."

He settles down in his chair and they eat breakfast in silence, looking out to sea.

Jane has finished his last bite of a satisfactory breakfast, not the best but not the worst, as he informed Lisbon and is now nursing his cup of tea. He's been searching for a way to start the conversation but can only come up with plunging straight in.

"It was a dream about Charlotte. We were on the beach racing to build sand castles. We were having fun, I pretended to fall so she could win. I had dropped the buckets and when I went back to retrieve them I heard her scream. When I got back to her she was dead. There was blood everywhere...and then I was back in my Malibu house...in the bedroom...under the smiley face."

"I'm sorry Jane. You haven't had a nightmare for so long, perhaps this isn't a good idea."

Jane looks up at her surprised.

"No, no , no this is a great idea. It's much better than being stuck indoors. I had the nightmare because I was thinking of her before I went to sleep. Building sand castles revived memories I haven't allowed myself to think about for many years. It was nice. I felt close to her. I just have to learn how to remember the good times without it bringing up the bad."

Jane gives Lisbon a wistful smile. Her heart aches for her friend, and she hopes she can help him somehow. He deserves to be happy, to be able to think of his family without Red John getting in the way. She knows how important her memories are of her parents, especially her Mother. It's what helped her through the difficult times of growing up. She took strength from feeling close to her.

"Perhaps you haven't let go of Red John?"

"That's very astute Lisbon. Perhaps I haven't. I thought I had. Since I've left the hospital, I've felt unsure of who I am and what I'm going to do with my life, where I go from here. I had Angela and then I had Red John. I know you want me to return to the CBI, but I don't know if that's what I want, or if it will be another crutch."

Jane reaches out to Lisbon and places his hand on top of hers.

"I do know I don't want to lose you."

Jane gives her hand a squeeze and jumps up out of his chair. he rubs his hands together:

"Let's have some fun."

Lisbon shakes her head at the sudden change in mood, but she knows he's done talking for now and that there will be other chances. She smiles at him.

"Yes let's. Do you have anything in mind?"

"As it happens I do. The porter told me of a local dog show that's being held at the park. It'll be fun, and if we're lucky a fight might break out."

"Well I hope it doesn't the dogs could hurt each other."

Lisbon see's a wicked smile cross Jane's face as he opens the door for her.

"Who was talking about the dogs?...Ow woman,"

Lisbon leaves Jane rubbing his shoulder as she breezes past him. The park isn't far away so they walk. Lisbon breaks the silence.

"What's going on Jane?"

Jane shrugs.

"There's nothing going on. We're just having a casual walk to the local dog show. What could possibly be going on."

"I can see it in your body language, you're excited about something. Since you're denying it, it's something I'm not going to like."

Jane halts and turns to look at her.

"You're wrong Lisbon, you're going to love it,"

Jane strides out in front and Lisbon gives a groan.

"Wait! Jane!"

Lisbon decides not to humour him and refuses to catch him up. It's a hot day and she doesn't want sweat trickling down her back this early in the day. Jane is waiting at the entrance of the dog show when she arrives.

"Ah Lisbon good to see you made it."

Lisbon gives him her sweetest smile.

"I hope I didn't keep you waiting."

"No problem. I will wait until forever for you Lisbon."

Lisbon rolls her eyes.

"That won' t keep you out of my bad books, what have you done.?"

Jane looks beyond her and then raises his finger.

"Just hold that thought and I'll be right back."

Once more Jane is gone and Lisbon's path's blocked by a harassed looking, middle-aged woman, holding a clipboard and other paraphernalia.

She looks at Jane's retreating form.

"Is that Mr. Jane?"

Lisbon wonders how this woman knows Jane but answers in the affirmative. The woman turns to face Lisbon fully.

"He's exactly as my brother described him. So are you Teresa Lisbon?"

Lisbon gives a bewildered nod.

"Good. Thank you so much for doing this. You saved my skin."

"For doing what?"

The woman shoves some things into Lisbon's hands and is gone before Lisbon recovers.

"I wish people would stop doing that."

She looks in her hands and staring at her is an ID badge with her name on it and the words 'DOG SHOW JUDGE'

"Jane!"

The man's suddenly standing right in front of her.

"Oooo we get to wear badges."

He takes his out of Lisbon's hands and pins it on to himself.

"A dog show judge Jane! What do we know about dogs to judge them, and how did you get us into this?"

"The night porter mentioned the dog show when I asked what there was to do. He said his sister was organising it and how she's impossible to live with as the event gets closer, that today had been a specially hard day as the judges had let her down due to illness. So I volunteered our services."

"You had to volunteer me as well?"

Jane takes her badge and begins to pin it on her.

"Come on Lisbon it'll be fun. All those cute dogs, I know you like dogs. Now what does all that say?"

Jane nods his head towards the literature Lisbon had shoved in to her hand. Lisbon rolls her eyes towards the sky, but knows she's beaten. She can't let the poor woman down, so with a sigh and a big grin from Jane she scans the paper in her hand.

"It our schedule, we're to start judging the big dogs in 10 mins."

"That's over there."

Jane points left and he takes Lisbon by the arm. As they make their way Lisbon reads out their judging guidelines. By the time she gets to the end worry has descended once more.

"Jane we know nothing about dogs...they take this all very seriously"

"Meh, beggars can't be chooses Lisbon, we'll just declare the ones we like the best the winners and not worry about all that technical stuff."

He takes the guidelines out of her hand and scrunches up the paper into a ball and throws it into a nearby trash can.

Lisbon has to admit that she's having fun. The dogs are stunning. She watches as Jane kneels before the last of the big dogs entered, a beautiful Husky. He takes the dog's head in his hands and stares it in the eyes. He talks to it while stroking it's head and then scratching it behind the ears. It reacts as all the dogs have done, its putty in Jane's hands. It collapses to the ground inviting Jane to rub his tummy. The owner is not as impressed and jerks the dogs chain to get it back on its feet. Jane gives him a stare and then strokes the dog's head and talks into it's ear.

"Sorry, didn't mean to get you in to trouble, but don't worry I won't hold your owner against you."

He gives the owner another stare and rolls back up on to his feet. Lisbon, meanwhile, is looking the dog over, taking note of the things that she remembers from the guidelines that Jane threw away, it's a beautiful dog. She feels Jane take her arm.

"Time to deliberate over a cup of tea."

They find an empty table in the refreshment tent, in the far corner where they can talk in private. Lisbon is looking over the notes she's taken as Jane places her coffee in front of her and sits down opposite.

"Time to concoct a plan."

Lisbon looks up startled.

"A plan? We need to come up with a winner. A plan for what?"

"A plan to stop the dog-napping of course."


	6. Chapter 6

"Dognapping! What are you on about Jane. We're here to judge dogs."

"Yes. An important job and I'm sure you have a worthy winner in mind, but we can't have one, or even more, being dognapped, can we?"

"Well no, but what makes you think there are dognappers here? This is just a local show in a park."

Jane takes a sip of his tea.

"The dogs told me."

"Oh come on Jane."

"No,no they did. They were all lovely dogs, dogs that are pets and only pets, with owners that love them very much. But there was one, a ringer. Obviously a pedigree and the handler, certainly didn't own, or care about the dog. The dog's been stolen and has been brought here to this local dog show to get an idea of its value. I mean if it can't win here, where will it win."

"You're talking about the Husky aren't you?"

"Voila! Got it in one! I bet you had him down as the winner?"

"No."

"Lisbon?"

"All right yes, it's a beautiful dog."

"So we need a plan."

"Hey I have one. Why don't we just tell the local cops and they can arrest them."

"Meh, boring Lisbon and it wouldn't work. They'll be long gone before the cops have enough evidence on them to arrest them."

"So what do you suggest?"

"Get them to confess."

"Of course."

"It'll be easy, I promise."

Lisbon groans.

The porters sister approaches the table.

"Mr. Jane?"

The poor woman goes a deep shade of red when Jane gives her a beaming smile.

"That's me."

"It's time to judge the small animals now."

Lisbon interjects.

"I thought we were judging dogs."

Jane stands up and moves over to Lisbon and takes her by the arm to help her out of her chair.

"We are Lisbon, we have the small dogs to judge later but before then it's the small animals."

He looks over to the woman.

"Lead us to the rabbits, hamsters and mice"

"Not mice Jane."

"It'll be fun Lisbon and I promise, you won't have to touch a mouse, or anything like them."

"There you go with those promises again, it's almost as unnerving as 'trust me'."

The small animals are under a canvas canopy, which, to Lisbon, looks full of mice cages. She can't stop a slight hesitation at the entrance. Jane turns and gestures for her to follow.

"Come on Lisbon."

Jane is fearless with any and all the animals. He picks them up and allows them to scurry over him. Lisbon's beginning to hate all small animals and can't take it any longer. She can feel each one of them running against her own skin. She nudges Jane.

"I have to go Jane."

Jane sees the slightly green tone to her face and nods.

"Stay out of trouble"

He shouts after her retreating form.

One boy brought in three baby hamsters and Jane takes all three out at once. He's created a following and everyone is laughing as he playfully tries to bring them under control. When he finally puts them back in the cage there's only two, one is missing. Jane turns out his pockets and allows the young owner to pat him down but the there's no sign of the animal. Suddenly it peeks it's head out from under the shirt of a boy in the crowd. Everyone burst into applause. The porter's sister is pushing her way through the crowd.

"Mr. Jane what's going on here?"

Jane turns towards her with a puzzled expression.

"I'm judging the animals."

She indicates the crowd.

"It looks like you're causing a stir, Mr Jane."

Jane puts his arm around the shoulders of the woman and whispers in her ear, but loud enough that the people nearby can hear.

"I'm with the police Ma'am and I'm causing a distraction while my colleague gathers evidence."

Her eyes go wide.

"Evidence of what?"

He places his finger on his lips.

"Now that I can't say. I've probably said too much all ready."

"Oh, oh, I won't say anything Mr. Jane."

"Good"

Jane looks around at the people close by, they murmur their accent, but Jane can all ready hear the news going through the crowd. Within moments he see a woman peel off from the edge and make her way out of the tent, pulling out her phone as she goes. Jane claps his hands together as he watches her.

"I'm all done here, time to go and deliberate."

He quickly follows in the woman's wake.

Outside the tent he catches a glimpse of the woman in the distance, and hurries after her. Unseen by him a man falls in behind him.

After leaving the small animals, Lisbon wasn't sure what to do, so she headed towards the tent nearby which announced itself as the craft tent. It seems that the people of Half Moon Bay baked. The stalls mainly comprised of food and, judging by how busy they were, the people liked to eat it as much as they like to bake it. Lisbon enjoyed herself walking around the stalls and trying some of the samples, which were delicious and she bought some shortbread which she thought Jane would enjoy with his cup of tea. She's surprised when she looks at her watch and half an hour as passed. She makes her way out of the tent certain that Jane must be finished by now. In the small animals tent there is no sign of Jane. A boy nearby beckons her over.

"You're the cop lady, with Mr. Jane."

"How do you know that?"

"Mr. Jane told us, said you were getting evidence on something."

Lisbon stomach tells her that this isn't good.

"Do you know where he went?"

"He followed a lady out of the tent. He went that way."

The boy points towards where the large dog competition took place.

Lisbon takes out her phone and calls his number, but all she gets is the answering machine. She tries again as she heads in the direction that the boy showed her. She shoves the phone in to her pocket after the third time and breaks into a run.

"Psst."

Lisbon pulls up and looks to her right, the direction of the noise. Her heart skips a beat from relief as she spies Jane behind a large trash can. He's gesturing for her to come over.

"Why didn't you answer your phone, you had me worried sick."

"Sorry I put it on silent, prudent I thought, for the stalking business, so I couldn't hear it. Well done at finding me."

Lisbon looks up to the sky with a sigh.

"You seem to forget I'm a cop."

"Touchy. Talking of which, our dognappers are over there."

Jane points to a trailer, two hundred yards away.

"Have they done anything yet?"

"No, but, hopefully, I've frightened them into acting quickly."

"So I heard."

"There was a guy following me but I gave him the slip, they think I'm at the refreshment tent so they should feel safe for a few minutes."

"You should have called me Jane."

"I was just about to, It would have been suspicious while I was being followed, plus I was following someone else and they would overhear, and then you were here. Look!"

Jane waves the phone he's holding in his hand as proof of his veracity.

"So how are we going to play this, I don't have my gun?"

"No, but I do, over there."

Jane points to the car park over on the left."

"You called the police?"

Jane shrugs

"Well, more bumped in to one at the refreshment tent."

"And you convinced him to get reinforcements."

"Seems he's a big fan of the Red John case. What can I say, I'm his hero."

Jane beams at her, and Lisbon shakes her head.

"Now that I..."

Lisbon's cut off as three men and the women, who was in in the tent, appear, The woman and one of the men both have a sleeping dog in their arms, Jane and Lisbon recognises one of them from the big dog competition. Jane stands up and moves out into the open.

"Hey guys, not waiting for the judging results, your husky is in the running, it would be a shame to miss it."

All four spin around at his voice and the women exclaims:

"It's him."

The two without dogs reach behind their backs, Jane, knowing exactly what that means, drops to the floor as the cops emerge from the behind cars with guns pointing at the dognappers. They quickly surrender and are being handcuffed as Lisbon helps Jane up off the floor. He's covered in dust and is spitting it out of his mouth. He looks towards the activity and breaks into a grin, while brushing himself down.

"Looks like a job well done Lisbon."

One of the cops comes towards them with a prisoner in tow.

"Thank you Mr. Jane. This bust will look good on my résumé. Can you put in a good word for me at the CBI."

"Will do Officer Thomas. May I introduce you to the Mighty Agent Lisbon."

The Officer looks towards Lisbon with delight.

"An honour to meet you ma'am., it's my goal to work for you one day. Just wait until I tell my wife about today, you guys are just awesome!"

Jane grins and cocks an eyebrow at Lisbon and mouths 'Hero's'

Unlike Jane's basking, Lisbon feels uncomfortable.

"Er thank you officer, but we were just doing our jobs."

Officer Thomas continues on his way to his car. Jane looks across at Lisbon and copies her tone:

"We were just doing our jobs. Said in true superhero style Lisbon."

Lisbon can't help but smile and gives him a playful slap on the arm. She looks at the dust still clinging to him and starts to walk away calling over her shoulder.

"Come on Dustman let's get you cleaned up."

Lisbon comes out of the shower to see her phone announcing the arrival of a text. She picks it up to find there is also a missed call. Of course they're both from Jane. Following the directions of the text, Lisbon finds Jane sitting on the sea wall, looking out to the ocean.

"I wonder where that boat's going."

Lisbon's heart stops a moment at the unexpected sound of his voice. She chides Jane as she lowers herself on to the wall beside him.

"Jane, you almost gave me a heart attack."

"You have a distinctive tread Lisbon, may I suggest wearing quieter shoes to protect your heart."

"I'll keep that in mind. Not building sandcastle tonight?"

"No, I thought I would give it a miss, not good for my beauty sleep."

Lisbon kicks herself for being so thoughtless. Jane looks over to her and gives her a gentle smile.

"I'm okay Lisbon."

He returns his gaze out to sea.

"I was just thinking what a wonderful day it was today."

"You did look like you were having fun."

"What's not to like, the outdoors, animals, friends."

"I especially enjoyed seeing you covered in dust."

Lisbon can't help but smile at the memory.

"Well you do have an evil streak in you."

"Look who's calling the kettle black."

Jane closes his eyes taking a deep breath.

"I think it's time to move on. I don't think this town can top the dog show."

"Probably not. Any suggestions?"

"I was thinking about somewhere totally different."

"There's the wine country."

"Umm I don't think so, doesn't appeal."

Lisbon's stomach rumbles, Jane stares at it and is amused as Lisbon turns red.

"Sounds like we need to continue this discussion over dinner."

He holds out his hand and she takes it as she pushes herself off the wall. They walk towards a nearby opening in the wall.

"When we get back I think I'm going to buy you a hamster, you have an unhealthy dislike for such animals, which will be easily dispelled by having one as a pet"

"Don't you dare Patrick Jane."

"You could call it Dusty."


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Jane knocks on Lisbon's door.

"Are you decent?"

Lisbon answers the door. She's dressed and Jane can see her suitcase open on the bed.

"Slow coach, I'm all ready."

Lisbon heads back to the bed and Jane enters with his suitcase in hand.

"Some of us sleep Jane. What time did you wake up."

Jane shrugs

"Four, I guess."

Lisbon turns and studies her friend.

"Did you have another nightmare."

Jane reassure's her.

"No, I slept like a baby, while I was asleep. Just don't seem able to do it for long periods at a time."

"I guess another thing you have in common with babies. Well if Rigsby's tales are anything to go by."

"That boy didn't seem to sleep much. We were lucky with Charlotte, she slept through, almost from the night we brought her home, and what do you mean? another thing?"

Lisbon zips up her case, Jane quickly moves in and lifts it down off the bed.

"Be careful Jane."

"I am Mom. It's not exactly heavy"

Jane give she a teasing smile to let her know that he's not upset.

"Sorry."

"I appreciate you looking out for me."

Lisbon looks around her room making sure she has everything.

"Have you packed your stuff from the bathroom?"

Lisbon nods.

"Okay let's go to breakfast, I'm starving. We can either leave our things here and come back, or have reception look after them?"

"Let's take them with us."

Jane persuades Lisbon to have more than a muffin for breakfast and there is a mountain of pancakes in between them with a side order of eggs for Jane. He's looks over at Lisbon tucking into her pancake with gusto. Feeling his gaze she looks up and smiles at him.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"No, just the opposite. I was watching your technique for eating pancakes absolutely drowning in maple syrup.."

He picks up the china boat holding the syrup.

"...By the way, this syrup's suppose to last us for the whole batch of pancakes and it's almost empty."

Lisbon waves her hand dismissively

"I like maple syrup."

"I understand now, why you don't have pancakes very often, maple trees would be put on the endangered species list."

Lisbon scowls at him.

"Anyway I was admiring the fact that there is no syrup on your chin, you stick your tongue out just a little which catches any drops of syrup, trying to escape the pancake."

Lisbon raises her hand to her mouth in horror protesting:

"I don't do any such thing."

"Oh you do my dear, but, whereas, it could be disgusting on a burly truck driver, on you it's very cute."

Lisbon throws her napkin at him. He catches it laughing and leans towards her whispering.

"Be careful Lisbon, you'll get us thrown out."

He digs his fork in to his eggs and closes his eyes in rapture.

"Mmmm delicious"

When he opens his eyes, he's delighted to find Lisbon once again attacking her pancake.

Lisbon savours the last bite and wipes her mouth with her napkin and can't help but smile when she realises there's no syrup on her face. Jane flashes a smile in return.

"Quite remarkable Lisbon."

"Shhh. Where should we go next?"

"I was thinking about that while you were sleeping the morning away..."

"I was up at seven."

"...that Yosemite might be nice."

"I have heard it's very pretty and I haven't had the chance to go there yet..."

"...and we've never had a murder there either."

"It's hiking, are you up to that?"

"I'll be fine Lisbon, I won't do too much. I'm being responsible."

Lisbon realises that yes he is.

"Yosemite it is then."

"Good I'll go pay for our room."

Lisbon visits the bathroom while Jane is busy at reception. He's waiting for her with the suitcases when she re-appears.

"That was quick"

"They waved all charges on account of us busting the dognappers. I argued with them but they stood firm. I was happy for the free room but they shouldn't shoulder the cost of the maple syrup!"

Lisbon hits him playfully on the chest as she takes her bag from him.

"I claim driving"

"Aw Lisbon you drove last time."

"If you're good and I don't hear another word about maple syrup I may let you drive after lunch."

"You drive a hard bargain."

Lisbon smiles to herself. She knew Jane would have no idea how far away Yosemite was, by her reckoning, they should get there for lunch.

They load the cases in to the car. After closing the trunk lid Lisbon feels Jane's hand gently take her arm. She turns to him and is surprised at the intense look on his face.

"I want to thank you Lisbon, this is a great idea. As I sat on the balcony this morning watching the sunrise, I thought of the day ahead of me with my best friend, who's a great companion. Who accepts me as I am, and is patient with all my faults and flaws and I can count on to rein me in, when I get too reckless. And I felt happy. For the first time in a long time, I felt happy.

Jane pulls her into a hug and whispers in to her hair.

"Thank you."

Lisbon feels her eyes water, she takes out the keys from her pocket.

"Here you drive."

Jane wipes a tear that has settled on her cheek as he takes the keys with his other hand.

"I think I'd better, as you can't see."

Lisbon gives an embarrassed laugh. As Jane practically skips towards the driver's door, Lisbon becomes suspicious.

"If you said all that just to get the keys, I will knock you out and leave you stranded somewhere very hot."

Jane looks horrified.

"How could you think such a thing..."

"Oh I don't know - past experience."

"I meant every word. I promise."

It's been an uneventful journey spent in companionable small talk. The movement of the car sent Lisbon in to dreamland for the last hour of the journey. She wakes up as she feels Jane park the car. She blinks her eyes and stretches her arms to remove the stiffness that's developed.

"Where are we?"

"Lunch sleepy head."

Lisbon looks behind her and sees that Jane has stopped at a Mexican restaurant."

"Mexican. Yummy."

Jane breaks into a delighted smile.

"Glad you approve. The entrance to Yosemite is just down the road a few miles."

They exit the car and the heat assaults their bodies after the luxury of air-conditioning.

"Wow! It's hot!"

Lisbon receives no reply, when she looks over at Jane he's also stretching his muscles pulling his arms back, his head's turned up to the sun and his eyes are closed. His skin seems to be drinking in the suns rays. Lisbon's seen Jane do this a few times and always feels that she's intruding on some meditative moment. Without opening his eyes Jane suddenly speaks, making her jump.

"Go on, give it a go Lisbon. Just turn your face to the sun and allow it to communicate with you. It's happy to share its energy. You'll be amazed how much better you'll feel."

"Communicate with me, really Jane?"

Jane opens one eye and looks at her.

"You'll be surprised Lisbon. Don't mock without trying."

"I'll pass, Ill meet you inside once you and the sun have finished your conversation."

Jane lowers his arms and rolls his eyes upward while following Lisbon towards the restaurant.

"I was inspired to choose Yosemite, you obviously need to learn to tune in to nature and enjoy the wonders it holds. Maybe we'll meet a bear."

Having got to the door first, Lisbon is holding it open.

"A bear. I'd like to see you try to communicate with on of those."

Jane places one of his hands on the door and invites Lisbon to go before him, which she does.

"Aw they're just teddy bears."

"Yea like Red John was just a man who liked to paint."

"And I got the better of him."

"You were saved by the Calvary, twice."

"Ah I must correct you there. The second time was a successful outcome of a well devised plan, of mine no less."

Jane pulls out Lisbon's chair and then sits down himself opposite her.

"Okay Grizzley Adams, if we see a bear he's all yours."

Jane cocks his head to one side and looks at her quizzically.

"Grizzley Adams, who's Grizzley Adams?"

"He's a guy from a tv show who befriended a bear."

"See! And you doubt me."

"It was a tv show and a trained bear."

"In the carnival I helped train a lot of the animals, a bear will be easy. I bet Pete would be pleased if I rolled up with a bear."

"You're more likely to roll up in a coffin, now shhh and choose what you want to order.

Jane peruses the menu for a while and then in a disappointed voice, just loud enough for Lisbon to hear:

"Mmmm I thought there'd be bear meat."

In the end they both order a Taco salad. The meat is spiced to perfection and they both quickly polish off their plates.

"You made a good choice Jane."

"Well Thank you Lisbon."

The waitress comes over and Lisbon orders a soda while Jane's is a cup of tea.

"I saw a clothes store as we were driving through town, I thought we could go back and I would pick up a few more things."

"That's a good idea, neither one of us came ready for hiking."

"I thought we could pick up a backpack to carry lunch around with us."

"Perhaps something to keep water cold as well."

Jane nods his head. The waitress places their drinks in front of them. They grow silent for a while, Jane starts rubbing his finger around the edge of his cup.

"What's up Jane?"

"Mmmm?"

"You seem to want to ask something?"

Jane becomes aware of what he's doing and smiles at her.

"You're getting good at this."

"Yea whatever."

"I-I-I was thinking that we're on holiday together, as friends, not work colleagues, and you're my best friend, and I would like to call you Teresa and for you to call me Patrick."

Lisbon's taken off guard.

"S-s-sure."

"I know it'll be strange at first..."

"You can say that again."

"...but it seems silly after all we've been through and...and what you've done for me, to be calling each other by our surnames. I think we should at least try it out, see how it fits. It's nothing romantic or anything. If you don't like it we can always go back, Teresa."

Jane was looking down at his cup, tapping the rim with his finger, while he spoke, but, raises his head and looks Lisbon in the eye as he says her name. It would seem like a challenge, if Lisbon, didn't also notice that his finger, was once more, circling the rim of his cup. This speaks volumes to her of the depth of his feelings. She knows, through experience, that he's perfectly capable of hiding his true emotions from her. The thought occurs to her that it could be reverse manipulation, but, she can't come up with any reason why he would lie to her, and as she looks in to his face, she trusts her instincts, that he's being open and honest with her.

"Okay Patrick, first names it is."

She can't deny it feels strange, she's never called him by his first name before, unlike Jane, who has called her Teresa in the past, and suddenly the image of him strapped to a chair, battered, bleeding and tormented, gasping her name pushes itself into her mind. Tears prick her eyes, she grabs her napkin and tries to conceal her reactions, but Jane, of course, doesn't miss a thing.

"What's wrong? If it's that big a deal you can call me Brian, David, or Jack Ass, which ever's easiest."

Lisbon can't help herself laughing in to her napkin. She looks up to see a gentle concerned smile on his face.

"Jack Ass does sound better."

Jane beams but his concern is still apparent.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Something in my eye."

Jane, of course, knows she's not telling the truth, but also sees that she's fine really, and relinquishes to her privacy. He drains his cup and places it back on the table.

"Time to shop Teresa."

Lisbon stands up gratefully.

"Let's go Jack."


	8. Chapter 8

Here she is in another beautiful room. Though nothing compared to the beauty she saw on the drive through the park as they made there way to the hotel. She was happy she wasn't driving and able to concentrate on the magnificent views that were laid out before her. They were breathtaking. At the check in Jane..no ..Patrick, collected up every brochure they had on display with ideas of what to do in the park. He seemed particularly excited about hiring bikes, it's been a long time since she's been on a bike. There's a knock on the door.

"Teresa?"

She goes over and opens the door. Patrick is practically hopping on one foot. He's wearing some of his new clothes. A dark blue pair of chino's paired with a pale blue button shirt, made in soft cotton and woven with a lighter blue thread in a swirl pattern almost invisible to the eye unless viewed up close. He obviously has a liking for blue but she managed to persuade him to buy some light green and beige. He's somehow had time to take a shower, his hair is still damp, his curls just beginning to dry

"Are you ready to get going?"

"I haven't finished unpacking yet."

"Meh, that can wait until later."

He grabs her arm and starts to pull her along."

"Wait. I need my room key."

He let's go and Teresa grabs her key off the bed.

"So where are we going?"

"Nowhere in particular, I thought we'd just have a stroll around the neighbourhood, get our bearings, see how the land lays..."

"I get the picture."

Patrick smiles at her.

"Good."

It's a lot cooler in the park but still warm, a perfect temperature. Once they move away from the hotel car park they leave civilization behind them. It instantly becomes quiet and peaceful. Trees, hills and flowers stretched out before them. Jane spreads his arms out in appreciation.

"This is beautiful."

Teresa can't disagree.

"It's incredible."

"C'mon"

Patrick takes her elbow and starts walking

"Where are we going?"

."I have no idea."

As they walk Patrick hums with delight as he takes in sights he's only seen in postcards. He's always had an appreciation for the beauty that surrounds the craziness of civilization, but here, it's nature at it's best. They come to a ridge where they can see into the valley below. Patrick sinks to the ground, grabbing Teresa's hand gently pulling her down beside him.

"Don't worry, the grass isn't wet."

Patrick is sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees, which are pulled up towards him. He shakes his head in wonder and turns to look at Teresa, a beaming smile on his face.

"I may never want to leave. Do you know what that is?"

He's pointing to a red flower that looks spiky, it's petals reaching up to the sky, that's just a few feet on the other side of her.

Teresa shakes her head.

"I'm not really up on flowers, just know the common variety species, it's very beautiful, though evil-looking."

Patrick looks aghast.

"Evil looking?"

"It's spiky, like it would prick me if I tried to sniff it."

"They're not spikes, they're bristles. It's called a giant red paintbrush."

"Ah, that works."

Patrick gets on to his feet.

"I'm going to take a closer look. I've only ever seen one in a book."

"Knock yourself out. I'll stay here."

"Okay."

Teresa watches as he makes his way over to the flower, he gets down on his hands and knees, for a closer inspection, it reminds her of when he inspects a body. His gaze is intense as he takes in every detail, sniffing it's scent. She turns back to the view of the valley and spies a young couple in the distance, with backpacks on their shoulders, their hands entwined and their bodies as close as possible, she suspects they could be newly weds, she watches their descent. In the background she hears Jane's/Patrick's exclamations of delight at, what she surmises, are further discoveries. The couple are no longer visible and she realises that it's very quiet. she turns towards Patrick's direction and he's also nowhere to be seen.

"Jane?"

"Patrick, remember."

Lisbon's heart jumps and she whips her head around to the opposite direction where Jane is lowering himself back to the ground.

"Geez Jane when you scare me like that, I've no intention of calling you Patrick."

"Oh, like when a parent uses a child's full name when they're in trouble?"

"Exactly like."

"Sorry I couldn't resist, you were so engrossed in something down there."

Teresa shrugs, inexplicably feeling embarrassed as if she'd been stalking the couple.

"It was just a deer."

A smile plays on Patrick's lips as he knows she's embarrassed and lying to cover herself, he wonders what she was watching, but decides the heart scare was enough for the time being. He stores it away for later. He lays down resting his head on his hands, he looks up at the sky. It's a deep blue, without a cloud in sight. Birds criss-cross their way across his vision. Faraway voices occasionally reach his ears, he's aware of Teresa laying down beside him, he squints open one eye and looks across at her.

"Does this mean we're sleeping together?"

"Shut up Jane."

He looks up at the sky once more.

"Oh, oh, in trouble again."

He smiles when Lisbon pushes him in the arm.

"You better believe it.

He can hear Lisbon smiling in her voice. He shuffles himself in to a seemingly more comfortable position and lets out a sigh.

"This is nice."

"Mmmm"

He feels gentle nudge on his arm.

"Wake up Patrick."

He opens his eyes, to find Teresa staring down at him, smiling softly

"Ah, I'm forgiven"

Patrick and Teresa request a table on the veranda where they can look over the park as they eat. There's a soft breeze and Teresa has her hair held by a clip to stop it blowing in to her face. Jane's changed in to a light green shirt, with small, white, dots randomly covering the print. Teresa's pleased to see him wearing one she chose and congratulates herself as, green, is definitely a colour he should wear more often.

"Glad you approve Teresa. I compliment you on a great choice."

She's momentarily startled at being caught staring but quickly recovers.

"It's about time you discovered there are more colours in fashion than, blue, grey, black and more blue."

"It seems a case of the pot calling the kettle black, literally, every other item in your wardrobe must be black."

"That's just for work. See no black."

Jane looks at her and it's as if he's seeing her for the first time. She's wearing white jeans with a deep red blouse and a white camisole visible underneath, her cross resting on the base of her neck. Patrick is looking so intently that she begins to feel uncomfortable and moves her gaze towards the mountains. Patrick bites back the compliment he was going to make, for once not wanting to add to her discomfort. The waiter arrives with their food. It's been a long time since their Mexican lunch and they're both famished, the food is delicious and in between bites they discuss plans for the following day.

"I presume you've read all the pamphlets you took from the lobby?"

"Yes and I thought we could take a hike. There's one described as 'moderate' that takes us through meadows, forests and along a river, with views of a few of the rocks. It sounds spectacular. Then later we could see the Yosemite falls, that seems the easiest one to get to. See I'm being careful."

"Where is my Patrick and what have you done with him."

Patrick raises an eyebrow.

"You're Patrick?"

"I think I've rescued your butt enough times to have some claim on you."

"Which parts would you like to lay claim too."

"Ahh, there you are, you're back!"

"Nicely done Teresa."

She sticks her tongue out at him. Patrick decides it's time to change the subject'

"We can order a picnic lunch from here to take with us."

"That sounds great."

Teresa's eyes wander back out to the mountains.

"I can't wait to get started. It's so beautiful."

The next morning Teresa is ready when Jane knocks on her door, She's wearing khaki coloured jeans, a beige top and her newly acquired hiking boots. She also has the backpack they purchased, which currently holds a bottle of suntan lotion. Jane's wearing his blue trousers teamed with a solid very light blue shirt.

"I'm glad I didn't choose the beige shirt or we'd look like a married couple."

He's holding some pamphlets and a map.

"Thought it best we know where we're going."

Teresa takes them from him and adds them to the backpack. Jane rubs his hands together.

"Time for a hearty breakfast I think. Just leave the rest of the guests some maple syrup."

Teresa playfully hits him on the arm.

"I'll just eat your portion."

Patrick lets her pass through the door first and closes it behind him.

"I've no doubt you will."

They're about an hour in to the walk, taking a stead pace. A little too steady for Teresa's liking as Patrick stops far too often. He's following, what, must be, the thirteenth squirrel they've encountered since they entered the forest as it races up trees and jumps from branch to branch. She spies a tree stump and sits down waiting for his arrival.

"Can that be the last squirrel you torment, or we'll be in this forest all day."

"I'm not tormenting them."

"You're a squirrel stalker."

"Ooo a 'squirrel stalker' I like the sound of that."

Teresa groans making Patrick smile.

"I promise no more squirrel stalking."

He offers Teresa his hand

"Lead us out of the forest, I swear I'll stay right by your side."

"Good, or tomorrow I'll put you on a leash."

Patrick stands still a moment as Teresa goes on ahead and then he starts to follow.

"Haven't we arrested someone for doing that?"

"No but murder sounds real good right now, heel."

They stop for lunch at the crest of a hill. It has a gently incline and leads into a meadow which is overshadowed by a giant rock. Patrick is informing her of their names but she's tuned him out and enjoying the view. The hotel had packed a delicious lunch and since it was now mid afternoon they devour it. She turns to Jane.

"We've walked a while, are you feeling all right?"

"Never better, don't worry about me, look."

He stands up on to his feet and jumps up and down in front of her.

"Don't be ridiculous."

"He turns to face her and jumps too close to the edge so that he has an uneven footing. It causes him to fall and start rolling. He thinks it's great fun and increases his momentum, unfortunately he doesn't realise that he's not rolling in a straight line and he's forgotten about the prickly bushes that he's now inches away from. Teresa is shouting and running towards him but it's all to late and he disappears with a cry underneath the bush. As she reaches him, he's pulling himself out slowly as thorns catch on his clothes, trying to hold him in. The last one relinquish's it's hold, and he flops on to the ground. His face and arms are covered in tiny scratches leaving trails of blood. He feels her shadow over him.

"Be gentle with me Teresa, I know I was foolish but I'm an injured man."

When he gets no reply he opens his eyes and then jumps to his feet, horrified to see tears in her eyes.

"I'm fine Teresa, it's just a few scratches. My own stupid fault."

She just looks at the blood and the cuts and can't stop the tears. Patrick, at a loss, pulls her into his arms and holds her.


	9. Chapter 9

Teresa pulls away and Patrick hands her a handkerchief he pulls from his pocket. She takes it from him and dabs at her eyes, giving an embarrassed laugh, not looking at him.

"I'm sorry I don't understand what came over me."

"That's okay Teresa."

He gently takes her by the shoulder.

"Let's sit down"

"You need to clean yourself up Jane."

"oh oh, I'm in trouble again."

Lisbon smiles:

"No you're not, sorry."

She looks at the handkerchief and holds it out to him.

"It's still usable. luckily I haven't blown my nose. Let me help you"

She dabs at the blood, dripping from his scratches. Patrick winces at her touch, she hesitates.

"Carry on, I was taken by surprise."

After she's finished he sits down on the ground.

"What are you doing?"

He pats the ground beside him.

"Come on, Teresa."

She doesn't budge.

"Let's get going.."

"Come on Teresa, you were too worried about me to get real help for yourself, for what you went through. Let me help you now. The tears had something to do with when Red John took you?"

She still doesn't move. He pats the ground once more and gives her his best smile hiding the sting it causes from his scratches

She lets out a sigh and sits down.

"Good."

They sit side by side, both with their legs pulled up with their arms around them. Both looking out at the scenary. Patrick allowing Lisbon the time to remember before speaking, his voice soft and low.

"I was pretty out of it, so I don't know what happened to you and I've selfishly ignored it, dealing with my problems.''"

He turns his head and looks at her.

"You, however, unselfishly ignored it so you could help me. I know you didn't really talk to the shrink.."

Lisbon interrupts:

"...a good job since she was a Red John operative."

"True. Now you've unselfishly taken time off work to come with me, to help me, once more and there's no reason why it can't help you too. In fact, I insist on it.

"I don't want to re-live it, I want to forget it."

"You already are re-living it."

Patrick lowers his voice to a whisper.

"Tell me about it, Teresa."

Teresa looks to the ground, shutting her eyes tight against the tears that are forming. Jane lays his hand on top of hers and gives it squeeze.

"It's all right, it's just the two of us."

She looks up to the sky, blinking hard. She takes a deep breath and starts talking to the view.

"It was Monday lunch time before we realised what had happened. Red John sent a chocolate, wrapped in a pink box, he'd included, one of those shiny, smiley face, confetti, things, like he put in the envelopes he sent to you."

"I remember."

"It must have fallen as I opened the box, because I didn't find it until later. I'm sorry Jane, I missed it, we could've saved you earlier, if I'd just seen it."

"Don't blame yourself, he'd already done his worse."

"We knew Red John probably had you the whole weekend and we didn't know where. There was nothing to go on. So I came up with the idea of the press conference and baiting Red John to take me too."

Patrick bites back his instinct to chastise her for taking such a risk for him.

It didn't take long, I was rendered unconscious and woke up tied to a chair, you were..."

She's unable to stop the tears falling down her cheeks. He tightens the hold on her hand.

"...you were in front of me, you're body bleeding and scarred."

She shakes her head:

"The way he had you tied to the chair..."

She wipes at her tears and composes herself. She's still talking to the view.

"You were unconscious. He spoke from behind me and accused you of being rude and brought you back to consciousness with a whip. He cut you, all over your body, just enough to cause you to bleed. You didn't react, you stared at the ceiling, hardly blinking. I was afraid we were too late, that there was nothing left to save. That maybe where ever you had gone, you couldn't come back from. Then when Red John left, you said my name."

Sometimes having a perfect memory is a curse, he remembers that time more vividly than he ought. In others, their brain, would've blocked it out, to save them from suffering, but, at least, he can help Teresa now. He looks at her. Her face is in profile.

"Look at me Teresa"

She slowly turns her head.

"I'd given up, I wanted to die, the pain was unbearable, I'd had enough. I couldn't process anything but the pain, and then I could feel the blood dripping and was happy, my life was draining away. I struggled to regain a hold on the world so I could thank Red John for what he was doing, somehow I thought it would be a victory for me. And then, I heard your voice, and it brought light and warmth in to my world. You have nothing to blame yourself for. You saved me, at a risk to your own life. I can't take away the images in your head...well I could but you wouldn't let me.."

"You're right about that."

Patrick can't suppress a smile, at the predictable response, which makes Lisbon laugh.

"That's good to hear...You saved me Teresa, in every way, in Red John's lair, in the hospital and you're still doing so, in this beautiful place."

Teresa turns and stares at the view once more, Patrick stares at Teresa, she smiles and pats his hand.

Later that night Patrick is standing in his boxer shorts staring at himself in the full length mirror. His eyes move over the scars that cover his body and that he's tried his best to ignore. Some are faint and will disappear over time, some will stay forever, the one on his thigh is particularly ugly from his abuse of the stitches. Red John's mark all over him, they are a constant reminder. It takes all his will power to stop himself smashing the glass.


	10. Chapter 10

Teresa is dragging behind Patrick as they make their way to the bike rental shed. She's agreed to do this but she still not sure about it. He isn't forcing her to do it, but she can tell that he's very excited about the idea and she has been on a bike in the past, just, a very long time ago. Patrick puts down the picnic basket when he reaches the counter. He turns to Teresa, as she catches up with him.

"This is your last chance to back out."

"No, no, let's do it."

Patrick beams at her and turns to the man waiting to serve them.

"We'd like to rent two bikes for the day. One that will carry a basket."

Ten minutes later the bikes are chosen. Patrick straps the basket on to the back of his bike. and stands astride it. He takes his helmet off the handle bars and puts it on his head, fastening it under his chin. Teresa smiles once more at his choice, a black helmet with little lights all over it. He argues he's prepared, just in case something happens and they're stranded all night.

Teresa took care in choosing her bike, making sure it wasn't too big. She straddles the bike and puts a foot on the pedal. She refused the helmet Patrick chose for her and straps on her plain black one.

"You go ahead Teresa and I'll follow behind, in case you have problems."

Teresa steels herself and then pushes herself off and starts peddling. The bike starts wobbling all over the place, she can hear Patrick calling to her.

"Pick up the speed Teresa."

She puts more pressure on the pedals and it starts moving in a straight line, she steers it back on the path. A voice of encouragement comes from behind.

"I knew there wouldn't be a problem, once you learn, you never forget."

As the minutes pass and Teresa keeps control of her bike, her confidence grows and she's beginning to enjoy herself. Jane sensing this, moves up beside her.

"You're a pro. Teresa."

On bikes they can cover more ground and the gentle trail is twelve miles long. They stop and admire the scenery a few times along the way. They don't encounter too many people, not even bikers until they reach their lunch destination, mirror lake. It's the perfect name for the lake as the surrounding trees and mountains are reflected perfectly in the water. They park their bikes in the designated spots and Patrick unfastens the picnic basket. Teresa takes a three hundred and sixty degree turn, looking all around her.

"Come on Teresa let's find a spot, I've never felt so hungry, it's all this exercise we're getting."

They walk towards the lake, Patrick spots a good spot for them to sit and heads towards it. It's away from the throng of people and the view across the lake, includes one of the giant rocks that cast their shadows around this haven. Half dome Patrick is sure it's called. He sets down the basket. Inside is a blanket that Teresa helps him to lay down on the ground. He hands her a plate and her sandwich, before settling down to eat his own. They eat in silence, looking at the scenery and watching the people as they walk past. Teresa is sure she sees the newly wed couple from their first day. She's only seen them from a distance before, but she's certain that it's them. They walk past arm in arm, bodies close, whispering and laughing in their own private world.

"That's an interesting couple"

"Who? The newly weds Patrick?"

Patrick looks over at her.

"That's your conclusion is it? Newly weds?"

"O come on, you're not saying differently are you, if they haven't married yet, they are very much in love."

"No, no I agree with you, they are newly weds, and they are very much in love, what else can it be when they have all this beauty around them and yet they barely see any of it. But there's something off about them, well about her. He's crazy nuts smitten, but she...she seems to be pretending, she's not quite as in love as she's making out."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"Perhaps he's very rich and she's after his money?"

"That could be a possibility, but I'm not convinced. There's something more threatening between the two."

Patrick notes disappointment in Teresa.

"What? Have I dashed your dreams of true love?"

She scowls at him, a little embarrassed at being found out that, for some reason, the couple had given her hope for the future.

"If you want to see true love Teresa, watch that couple over there. He's pointing to a couple with four rambuctious boys, all under ten. The man and wife trying to keep them under control as they run up and down the path."

"Why, that couple, there not even walking next to each other."

"No, they're attention's taken up mostly with the kids, but, they keep glancing at one another, their bodies are relaxed, there's no evidence of anxiety in the children, they feel safe in their parents relationship. That's a family where each member feels valued and important to one another."

"Sounds lovely."

Patrick notes her wistful tone.

"It does, it's an ideal a lot of families aren't given the chance to achieve, life gets in the way and things happen to make it harder, if not impossible. But they do their best with what they've been given."

He's finished packing everything away and is taking off his shoes.

"We may not have had 'ideal'..."

He turns to her with a teasing smile.

"...but I turned out all right."

She pretends annoyance and looks around for something to throw at him.

"Mmm seems it's a good job I packed the forks away."

"What are you doing?"

Jan's socks are now off and he's rolling up his trouser legs."

"I'm going to dip my toes in the water. Aren't you going to join me?"

"I think I'll stay here, you never know what's in the water."

"Teresa, this isn't Chicago, look how clear it is, I bet at night you can see the stars twinkling in it. Hey I bet that's quite a sight, perhaps we should come after dark."

"There's not much lighting around here it'll be totally dark, we would only end up getting lost."

"It will also make it look more incredible, and we won't get lost, we have my helmet. I think it's a great idea, we should do it."

Lisbon rolls her eyes.

"All right Jane I'll dip my toes in."

She kicks off her shoes. The water is warmer than she imagined, as they sit side by side with their legs dangling in the water. Patrick is amusing himself by kicking the water and watching the ripples still, to reveal the reflections of two people happy and relaxed together.

They pack up the picnic basket and Jane straps it back on to his bike. They fasten on their helmets and get back on the bikes. Their next stop is Yosemite falls, after Jane's argument with the bushes yesterday, they didn't make it to the falls, so it's on their agenda today. They park their bikes and head towards the noise, it's as if people feel the need to compete with the loud noise of the waterfall. Patrick and Teresa look at one another, each wondering if they should abandon this stop and go back to the peace and quiet, they've enjoyed. Patrick shrugs.

"We're here now, may as well take a look."

As it comes in to view Patrick breaks in to a smile. He turns to Teresa excitement lighting his eyes.

"Rock climbing"

There are two 'pools' of water, mainly made up of rocks on two different levels and tourists are climbing all over them. As they move their eyes higher, they see some more hardy hikers walking up a steep path to get closer to the main part of the falls. Patrick is rolling up his trousers again.

"Come on Teresa, let's go do some rock climbing."

She bends down and starts rolling her trouser legs too.

"We should have bought some shorts."

Patrick looks over at her.

"We passed a store, on the way, it's not far from here. I bet they sell some."

"Perhaps later."

"No, it'll be too late then, shorts are a great idea."

Patrick turns and heads back to the bikes.

"Wait."

Patrick turns around.

"What is it Teresa?"

"We're hear now, lets just climb."

"Meh, we'll climb better in shorts."

Patrick gets to the bikes and starts to unravel his trouser legs. He does one and then as he starts the other, he stops a beat and then continues. He stands up.

"Actually I think I'm feeling a bit tired, perhaps it's best that we just finish the bike ride."

Teresa may not read people as good as him and he's the best she knows at covering his feelings, but he hadn't been quick enough. She'd seen the disappointment in his eyes but she certain she also saw fear in there too.

"What's going on Patrick?"

Patrick tries to brush her off.

"It's nothing. as I said I'm getting a little tired."

"Don't lie to me Jane."

A smile twitches at the corners of Patrick's mouth.

"You're getting good Teresa, in trouble again."

"Yes when you lie to me."

"I think it's time to move on, I need something more restful, I've been too energetic here, I can feel it in my body."

Teresa moves closer to him.

" What's going on. don't lie to me. Something's wrong, something happened...please tell me, I want to help."

Patrick becomes serious and the intensity and sincerity in his eyes is easy to read.

"Not here Teresa, I don't want to discuss it here and I don't know if I'm even ready to talk about it, but I will when I am, I promise."

Teresa searches his face. She doesn't understand what's happened but whatever it is has deflated him like a balloon, tiredness pulls at his features.

"Okay, there's nothing we can do but ride back, can you do that?"

"Yes, I'll be fine."

"Let's take it steady."

Patrick can't help but smile at that.

"We haven't exactly been breaking any speed records, I've known snails bike faster."

Teresa gently slaps him on the shoulder.

"Was that an act from your carnival days, I bet it got more visitors than the 'Boy Wonder."

Patrick laughs.

"Well if it didn't, it should have."

Suddenly Teresa finds herself enveloped in a hug. Patrick's breath in her ear.

"Thank you. I'm sorry to spoil your fun today, I'll make it up to you."

"Yes you will."

She feels his smile against her ear and he squeezes that little bit tighter before releasing his hold. He then turns and climbs on to his bike and she does the same. They make their way back to the bike rental shop in relative silence. Teresa trying to work out what happened, what had upset him. It wasn't a little thing, the effect it had on his physical well-being told her that. It literally drained him of energy. She determines that it's not something to ignore. She needs to find a way to help him talk about it.

Patrick's berating himself for losing control and spoiling their day. His mind wanders back to the day before when he forced Teresa to talk about what was bothering her, and to the reason why they're here in the first place. He opened his heart to Teresa and she left work to help him get better. This is not just a trip about seeing beautiful things and having a good time with his best friend, it's about healing and learning how to move on. Teresa's sacrificed a lot to help him, because he didn't want to talk to a professional, his selfishness raising its ugly head again. He knows he's changed a lot in the years he's known Teresa but she does tend to feed that part of him.

'Listen to me, it sound like I'm blaming her.'

He looks across at his friend and it's almost as if she knew he was going to do it as she looks back at him at the same time and gives him a questioning smile that's asking him if he's okay. He nods his head, and he takes a metaphorical deep breath and determines to do better, he's not thinking about himself, he will talk to her about what happened today, in reality, despite his earlier promise, would he ever feel ready. Healing means that he needs to take leaps of faith, and though he's not a man of faith, he has faith in the woman peddling beside him.

After giving back their bikes, they head back to their hotel rooms to freshen up. When Teresa comes out of the shower she hears the final strains of her message tone. It's from Patrick asking her to come to his room. She replies that she's just getting dressed and then she'll be over. She knocks on the door. Patrick is anxiously waiting for her to arrive, he's sat in one of the chairs, unconsciously moving his leg up and down. He jumps when the knock finally comes. He stands up and takes a deep breath. He opens the door, and can't help but break into a smile at the look on her face.


	11. Chapter 11

Jane grabs Lisbon's wrist and pulls her into the room, quickly shutting the door.

"Jane why are you answering the door in your boxer shorts. Couldn't you at least put the hotel dressing Gown on!"

"If I covered up I might not have the courage to take it off."

"Jane, you better have a good reason for this!"

"That's twice you've called me Jane. Look at me Teresa. What do you see?"

"I see someone who's seems to have lost his mind."

"I'm being serious here Teresa, Look at my body, tell me what you see."

"I'm trying not to look at your body."

Patrick moves towards her and she steps back.

"Please Teresa, it's important."

Teresa can see from Patrick's expression that he is indeed being serious and that it's important. She resists looking up to the ceiling before moving her eyes down from his face, where she's been firmly keeping them. She's feels extremely uncomfortable looking at Patrick's body and she can tell that he's just as uncomfortable. She tries to lighten the atmosphere

"I see that you actually use that gym locker key and I thought it was just a ruse."

She draws a smile. She looks back at him.

"I don't know what you're looking for Patrick. I see a man in surprisingly good shape for all the time you spend on that couch."

"Look closer."

She does her best, she lets her eyes wander over him, she can feel her cheeks burning. Jane fights the almost overwhelming desire to shut his eyes tight, or to run away. He concentrates on watching Lisbon's face, knowing that her natural instincts will stop her from saying anything that could hurt his feelings but her natural reactions will betray the truth.

"Right there Teresa, you saw it."

"Saw what Patrick?"

"You reacted."

"Reacted to what...?"

She stops as she remembers and understanding dawns.

"..Oh Patrick, you're talking about the scar."

"Not just one Teresa, my body's covered with them. Each one a reminder of Red John, a lasting reminder of what he did to me, to my wife and to my child. I can never get away from what he did...what..what..what...he made me do."

Teresa looks at her friend, his eyes clouded with pain.

"Yes I see the scars Patrick, many of them will fade, some of them I watched him inflict, but they don't remind me of him cutting you, they remind me of the strong determination and will of the man who fought back, who stood at the abyss and pulled back from the edge. Who conquered demons that threatened his very sanity and in the midst of it all, saved my life and took down his nemesis."

She moves closer to him, her desire to help her distraught friend overcoming her discomfort. She reaches out to touch him, he steps back. He eyes full of pleading.

"Don't Teresa.."

She follows him.

Shh Patrick it's okay."

She tracers a scar on his shoulder with her finger.

"Your scars aren't the scars of a victim, they're the battle wounds of a conqueror. Don't be ashamed of them Patrick. Red John did terrible things to you, to your wife and child, to many people but you were the victor. He's gone, his reign of terror is at an end, let it be at an end."

Patrick lets out a strangled sob and buries his head in Teresa's shoulder. She wraps her arms around him. She can feel the tension in his body as he struggles to regain control. She understands the pride of the man in her arms, who likes being in control, and especially of himself. He straightens up and turning away from her, he heads to the bathroom. He closes the door and stands with his back against it. He concentrates on steadying his breathing and with it his emotions. He feels his legs go weak and he slowly slides to the floor, he buries his head in to his knees and continues the battle. He can still feel the touch of Teresa's finger tracing his scar. Behind his closed eyes Red John and Teresa fight for center stage. Red John is laughing manically, Teresa is smiling, her voice soft. With each inward breath he concentrates on Teresa and as he breathes out he blows Red John away from him. Red John is getting smaller and smaller and with it Teresa's words are getting clearer and clearer. He lifts his head and sniffs, he reaches for some tissue and blows his nose. He slowly stands, testing his legs. He goes over to the wash basin and throws water on his face. After drying he takes a deep breath and turning around he opens the door.

Teresa's been waiting, sitting in a chair, her thoughts full of Patrick. She understands where he's coming from even if it's misguided. Patrick's always been full of self loathing, for as long as she's known him, because of the blame he shoulders for his family's deaths. But now he's had his revenge, Red John is gone, because of Patrick. She hopes she's got through to him. This is a burden he doesn't deserve to carry. She hears the bathroom door opening, Patrick emerges he looks her steadily in the eyes, he gives her a small smile. He walks towards her and offers his hand to help her out the chair. When she stands he immediately envelops her in a hug. The embarrassment caused by his undress gone for the both of them, she wraps her arms around him and reciprocates, she closes her eyes and loses herself in the feel of him. His hug is firm but gentle, she can feel his heart beating against hers steady and strong. He pulls her even closer and moves his head, just a little so he can whisper in her ear.

"Thank you, I know this was hard and you were sensitive and supporting, I will never forget this. You're a true friend Teresa and you're the most important person in my life."

Teresa squeezes tighter in reply.

"You're welcome Patrick, I'm here for you always, you know that."

Teresa feels Patrick faintly nod his head. He closes his eyes against tears that threaten to fall. His heart full of gratitude and love for the woman in his arms. He pulls away and looks her in the face. He smiles teasingly at her.

"We never talk about this to anyone."

Teresa gives a choked laugh.

"Seriously! This is will be blackmail fodder for a long while."

Patrick looks seriously at her and then breaks in to a big smile.

"Woman, you could never admit to being in a bedroom with me practically naked."

Teresa wags a finger at him.

"I wouldn't bet on that Jane."

"Oh oh Jane again. If you think that this threat of yours has any chance of keeping me in line, you're deluding yourself woman."

"Just put some clothes on."

"Shall I dress right here?"

"Sure."

She moves back towards the chair.

"I'll sit here and enjoy the show."

"You make me feel so cheap."

Jane grabs his clothes that are lying on the bed and goes into the bathroom. Teresa smiles after him, he's talking about coming back.

 

Over dinner it's decided that they'll move on, heading south. They'll start out after breakfast without any destination planned, just see what happens. Lisbon's a little nervous about it, liking to know where she's going but mixed in with that nervousness is excitement. She trusts her travelling companion and surprises herself by being willing to have him lead.

As they sit looking out over the beautiful vista she wonders how much this place is responsible for this change. Her life, for so many years, has been spent in fifth gear, pressure to close cases, to file paperwork on time, to live up to her high standards that she sets herself. Even when she got where she wanted to be, she never let up, striving to be the best . But here she's spent her days taking the time to really see and enjoy what nature can give. Not just beauty but energy, peace and perspective. She turns to Patrick.

"When we get back to Sacramento…"

He looks at her.

"Let's not talk about going back."

"Just this one thing."

Patrick lays down until he's resting on his elbows and gives her a lazy smile.

"Okay, one thing – as long as it's not work."

Teresa lays down with him turning on her side so she can see him.

"When we go back let's promise that we'll spend time like this together often, at least once a month, something lazy and relaxing."

Patrick's smile grows wider.

"Now that's a promise I think I can keep, even if I have to kidnap you to do it."

"You'll think I'll forget?"

Patrick reaches out and moves away hair that has fallen on to her face.

"Not intentionally, but once you join the rat race, climb on to the treadmill, start the daily grind…"

"…..I get the picture."

"Just don't hit me when I drag you off."

"Now that I can't promise."

"I'll guess I'll have to take my chances."

"Good."

Patrick lays all the way down, his feet are crossed and he lays his hands, lightly clasped, on his chest and looks up at the sky. The sun has almost finished setting, its last tendrils reaching out across the sky in its final goodnight, introducing the stars that are to keep watch. One by one they start to appear and then by three's and fours until they all burst upon the scene, twinkling over them in there alloted patterns.

"I have a star named after me."

"You're kidding! I thought that was a cheesy thing that men did for women."

Patrick looks over at her.

"It was a birthday present from Charlotte."

Teresa's face turns to horror, just as he knew it would.

"I'm sorry Patrick, it..it's a lovely present."

Patrick lifts one hand dismissively.

"Meh don't worry about it. I agree with you, but from Charlotte is was a lovely present."

He takes a deep sigh and Teresa recognises the act as preparation for a difficult revelation.

"She was scared of the dark and she wanted a friendly face in the sky, My actual star is a tiny thing but as far as Charlotte was concerned it was one she could see outside her bedroom window."

"Did it help her?"

"Yes she changed to a night-light so she could see it more clearly...Her...her head was turned towards it when...when I found them."

Tears prick at Teresa's eyes.

"Of course I don't know if she was looking at it, if it comforted her, or if she was pleading for me to save her..."

"You can't torture yourself with thoughts like that."

"Kristina Frye told me once that she'd 'channeled' Angela and Charlotte and that they wanted me to know that Charlotte didn't know a thing, that she never woke up."

"Was her eyes open Patrick when you found her?"

Patrick looks at her for the first time since he started talking about Charlotte. His voice is heavy with emotion, though barely a whisper.

"That's the thing, I can't remember. I should. I remember everything else, how can I forget whether my daughter had her eyes open or not?"

"You would have been in shock Patrick, you can't blame yourself."

"In the crime scene photos her eyes are closed, but did I close them, I'm sure it's something I would do, but I don't remember."

"I don't know Patrick, but I know you shouldn't torture yourself about it. Some things you just have to let go."

He looks back up at the sky.

"I'm sorry I didn't intend for the conversation to get so heavy when I told you about the star, I don't want all my memories of Charlotte tainted by what happened. I want to remember all the good times we had together, without fear."

"It'll come, you've been focused on revenge for so long that you're still stuck in the grieving process. Give it time. it gets better. It's scary but the more you think about her the easier it'll get. I tried to shut my mom out when she died because it was too painful, but I realised it was punishing myself a second time. The only mom I had now was in my head..."

She feels Patrick take her hand.

"It was very painful at first, I felt I was tearing up inside, but it became easier, it lessened to a dull ache, until eventually the pain disappeared for most of the time."

They catch each other's eyes, Patrick gives a small smile.

"Thank you."

As always when he looks at her with intense honesty of his feelings she flushes with slight embarrassment and the warm pleasure of their friendship. She returns his smile.

"You're welcome."

They look at each other for a long moment, Teresa can feel herself flushing even more and turns to look at the sky. She can still feel his eyes on her.

"So which one is it?"

"Which one what?"

"Which is your star?"

" Ah, I would show you if I could but you actually need a telescope to see it."

Teresa looks at him and laughs.

"Seriously?"

He breaks out in to a huge grin and nods his head.


	12. Chapter 12

Patrick and Teresa make a leisurely exit from Yosemite. They stock up on a hearty breakfast and have a long last look at the spectacular views after loading up the car with their suitcases.

"Shall we get on the road?"

Patrick clapse his hands together and raises them above his head, standing on tiptoe to complete the stretch, his tan coloured shirt riding up a little exposing golden skin, he turns his face towards the sun, closing his eyes against the glare and a warm smile slowly works its way across his face. Teresa notices that a couple of women passing by stop and watch. Teresa wonders how oblivious Patrick is to the reactions of the women around him, he never shows any indication that he's aware. He drops his hands to his side and smiles at her. She smiles back.

"Ready now?"

"For anything!"

Patrick slides his arm under hers and steers in the direction of the car. Teresa's driving so she climbs in to the seat and reaches underneath the chair and is pulling it forward when she hears Patrick.

"Nearly forgot something. I'll be right back."

By the time she sits back up Patrick is already out the car and jogging across the car park. Teresa yells out the window. She watches as he disappears into the hotel. She turns the ignition on enough to be able to open the windows and sits drumming her fingers on the steering wheel waiting for his return. Three minutes later she sends him a text asking what he's doing and is he planning on coming out any time soon. His reply:' Patience woman' She thrusts her phone back in her pocket and continues drumming. Just as she's about to leave the car and go in search, Patrick appears with three small paper sacks in his hand. He walks nonchalantly towards and she hits the horn and scowls at him. He doesn't change his pace and beams at her when he reaches the car holding up the bags.

"Lunch. All your favourite things nestled in these bags awaiting your devourance."

"Devourance? Is that even a word?"

Patrick shrugs.

"If it isn't, it should be, it rolls around the tongue nicely."

He says the word again exaggerating his mouth movements. The thought of her favourite foods and Jane's antics quickly defuse Teresa's irritation.

"Get yourself in the car."

Patrick gives a salute and opening the door he hops in, reaching behind him to place the bags on the floor behind Teresa's chair. He moves his seat back and stretches out his legs.

"Let's get this show on the road."

Teresa starts the car fully, puts it in reverse and starts backing out. As she's pulling away Patrick reaches over and hits the horn. He waves at the startled guests mulling around, shouting goodbye. Lisbon gets out of there as quickly as possible.

Patrick enjoys his last look at Yosemite and feels a pull of regret as they leave it behind. He changes his focus on to Teresa, surreptitiously watching her under the lid of his eyes while pretending to doze. Her body relaxes as they leave the narrow curving roads behind and a straight road stretches out before them. She's humming along to the jazz tune on the radio although it's obvious she hasn't heard the track before and is guessing the notes. She lifts her right hand off the wheel and pushes her hair behind her ear as if purposely allowing him a better look, a slight smile plays on her lips. As his eyes travel down her arm to the finger that is drumming softly to the beat of the music he notices that despite all the time they've spent in the sun her skin shows just a slight tan, the result of that heavy-duty suntan lotion she carries around. His eyes are back to her face when she slightly bites her lip and he feels the car breaking hard.

The screeching of tyres reaches his ears and he moves his focus to the road. A car is moving erratically while bits of tyre is spewing all over the road. His heart races when he sees a child's head through the back seat window. Lisbon has expertly avoided the debris and brought the car to a stop. They have their seat belts off and are out of the car as the distressed vehicle's halted by a thick bush off the side of the road, luckily the impact is low, the car is sticking slightly out in to the road they're car is almost behind it. They run to the car, Teresa takes the front of the car and Patrick yank open the rear door. They're greeted with the sound of a toddler and baby screaming in unison. Patrick shouts to Teresa:

"How's the driver?"

"She's fine, just a little shaken."

He hears the woman's voice full of panic.

"My kids, how are my kids."

"Tell her the kids look fine."

He hears Teresa relate the news and then the sound of the seatbelt releasing, he guesses that the driver is getting out of the car. He turns his attention to the toddler. It's a boy of about two years of age, his hair a soft blond, his face scrunched up in tears. Patrick strokes his head.

"There, there, I know that was scary but I'm going to get you out of here. He takes a quick glance at the car seat and works out how to release the child from its confines. That done he lifts the child and backs out of the car. The Mother is sat on the grass dazed, he calls to Lisbon as he holds the whimpering child to his chest.

"Take him..."

"Patrick you're better with kids than I am."

"There's another one."

Teresa takes the child and Patrick ducks back into the car and reaches across to release the baby. A loud bang fills the air and Lisbon watches in horror as another car pushes her car towards the stricken vehicle.

"Patrick!"

Patrick's reaching across the seat and is about to unlock the babies belt when he hears a loud noise. He instantly understands what's about to happen but has no time to do anything to defend himself from the impact. He's thrown against the empty driver's seat and then his head volley's back to hit the back of the baby's car seat. He's vaguely aware of pain exploding in his ribs, he then drops to the floor as he blacks out. It's only momentary and as he returns to consciousness, noise assaults his ears. He's trying to make sense of where he is and what's happening. When he realises where he is, his memory begins to return. He turns slightly to push himself up, his ribs protest but he's able to take a look at the baby, and is grateful to find it's not injured. He's aware of voices outside the car and wonders why no-one is checking on him. He shouts for Teresa but there's no reply. He starts to back his way out of the car when the door next to the baby opens. Patrick looks towards it to find a man in the doorway.

"Just stay where you are sir, help is on its way."

"And be a sitting duck for some other jerk not watching the road. Just get the baby to safety."

Patrick watches the man take the baby from the car seat and then he slowly backs out of the car. It's painful but he doesn't think his ribs are broken. He crawls out on his knees and feels a gentle hand on his shoulder, he's expecting Teresa but it's a different woman's voice that speaks:

"Sir, lay down an ambulance is on its way."

He shrugs her off.

"I'm fine. Where's Teresa?"

The woman looks at him and then he sees realisation dawn on her and then a glimpse of something else that she covers up as she looks beyond his shoulder.

He turns around looking for Teresa. He sees a car on the on the verge and a couple of people kneeling on the ground at the front of the car. A terrible thought enters his head and horror courses through his body, he struggles to his feet and stumbles towards them calling Teresa's name.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion as the second car hits the disabled vehicle, Teresa's stunned momentarily and finds herself unable to move, she puts her head in gear and mentally tells herself to help him. Her concentration totally on Patrick she's unaware of another car that's swerved to avoid colliding but is now heading straight for her. It hits her without her even registering it's existence.

Patrick's Good Samaritan is following in his wake, he can feel her touching his arm.

"Sir you need to lay down."

When he reaches the front of the car he sees her lying on the ground motionless. Her name catches in his throat. He drops to his knees besides her and takes her hand, saying her name to try to rouse her. His eyes sweep up and down her body and he's relieved to find no limbs in impossible positions, it looks like she's in one piece at least. His hand moves to her face, the paleness standing out against her dark hair, and he gently strokes her cheek, but there's no reaction.

"C'mon Teresa, wake up. Open your eyes Teresa.

Some one is holding a white handkerchief against her temple on the other side of her face, Jane looks up at the man.

"Is it a bad cut?"

The man shakes his head. Jane reaches over and moves the stranger's hands needing his own confirmation. Blood is oozing out of a cut half an inch in length and the area around it is grazed and bruising, little bits of gravel are pressed into her skin. Jane lightly brushes some away.

"Sir, I must keep the pressure up."

Jane slowly nods his head and moves his hand away, the handkerchief is back in place. He returns to stroking her cheek. Jane feels somewhat bewildered at the rapid deterioration of his world, the air has a surreal quiet surrounding him although he's aware that outside of it the children are still crying and a crowd has gathered. He's brought back to reality as the sound of sirens begins to fill the air.

A paramedic kneels beside him gently urging him to leave Teresa's side so she can look him over and her colleagues can see to his wife.

"She's not my wife. She's my partner, my friend."

"I can see you care about her, so let them give her the help she needs."

Jane reluctantly let's go of her hand and the Paramedic helps him stand.

"Let's get you over to the ambulance and have a look at you. You're friend will join us when my colleagues have finished helping her."

Jane allows himself to be guided to one of the waiting ambulances and when he's sat down at the edge of the open doors his eyes immediately go to where Teresa is lying, still unconscious. The paramedic patiently urges his co-operation in her examination of him. She wraps him in a blanket when he starts to shiver,

"You don't seem to have any major trauma but you need to be examined at the hospital."

She looks over and sees that her colleagues are getting the female patient ready for transport.

"Let's get you inside Mr. Jane and you can travel to the hospital with your friend."

Jane climbs in and sits down on a seat in the back corner of the ambulance. Teresa's loaded in on a stretcher, she's still unconscious. The doors are closed and the ambulance sets off with it's siren blasting.


	13. Chapter 13

Patrick keeps his eyes on Teresa as they journey towards the hospital. No matter how hard he wills it she's not regaining consciousness. His one ray of hope being that the paramedics caring for her, don't have an air of desperation about them, just concerned professionalism. This told him that her injuries weren't life threatening. His paramedic is driving and occasionally one of the others will look over and check on him. One comes to sit down with him and tries to talk to him but he's politely sends him away to look after Teresa, saying he's doing fine and not to worry about him. He checks his pulse and feels his skin and then goes back to his work.

Teresa's face is pale. The slight tan he'd been admiring earlier is completely gone as if rubbed out by an eraser. He watches the rise and fall of her chest counting the depressions in his head, measuring them with his own, copying her pattern, it's normal, a little faster than his resting rate, but slower than his current speed. Her head's encased in a bandage otherwise she looks fast asleep.

He only realises that watching her breathe has almost put himself in a hypnotic state when a groan makes him jump out of his skin. With the groan is a small moving of her head from side to side. Jane is quickly out of his seat, the closest he can get is by her pillow, he reaches out and strokes her cheek, her eyelids are fluttering. He softly speaks her name:

"Teresa."

She looks his way briefly but there's no recognition there. Her attention's robbed by one of the paramedics.

"Teresa, my name is Chris, I've been caring for you…I just want to check your eyes."

He shines a light briefly in to her eyes.

"Nod if you can hear me."

There's no response, she's begins to move her head from side to side again, her eyelids fluttering. The paramedic see's Patrick's concerned face.

"She's still trying to wake up, it may take some time, continue to touch her it will help."

As he reaches out to her the ambulance comes to a stop and the doors are yanked open. As Patrick blinks furiously at the invading sunlight Teresa is whisked away from him and someone is touching his arm.

"Come with me sir, let's have a look at you."

Patrick shrugs him off."

"Later, I want to be with Teresa. She's waking up, I need to be with her."

"The doctors are looking after her. It's best you let them do their job and let me do mine by taking a look at you, as soon as there is any news you'll be told."

Patrick knows there's nothing for it but to go with him, Teresa's lost to his sight. The quicker he gets this over with the sooner he will be with her. He's taken by wheelchair to a bed. His vitals are taken and the doctor examines his body. Patrick closes his eyes not wanting to see the young man's reactions and knowing what's coming.

"It looks like you've been through the wars Mr. Jane."

Patrick answers without opening his eyes.

"I had a little run in with a serial killer."

"Oh"

"Yes Oh. That's yesterday's news, what about today, am I good to go join my friend?"

Patrick can feel the man's discomfort but does nothing to abate it, hoping it will get rid of him quicker.

"There're no broken bones, you have a bump on your head, did you lose consciousness."

"I don't think so, if I did it was only for a few seconds."

"You're getting nasty bruise on your chest but I don't think your ribs are broken, I've ordered an x-ray just to be sure. Since you've recently suffered some trauma I want to pull your files to bring me up to date on your condition and see if there's anything I need to be aware of."

Patrick groans and opens his eyes fixing the doctor with his most deathly stare.

"Can you hurry it up?"

"Mr Jane, I know your anxious about your friend, I will go and check on how she's doing and then let you know."

"Good. Go do that."

Patrick waits impatiently for his return and is about to get down off the bed when the doctor appears.

"She's conscious and alert. She asked after you Mr. Jane. I told her that you were doing well and asking after her. She said to give you a message."

Patrick felt tension leave his body at the news that she's awake and talking.

"Her exact words were: "Patrick stop giving your doctor a hard time, let him do his job and I bet you haven't told him about your shoulders." She then went on to explain to me about your recovery and that being thrown about in the car may have exacerbated your injuries."

Patrick inwardly scowls, his shoulders were aching but he's certain it's just from the hard bumps they received, he didn't use his hands to protect himself, there wasn't time. Outwardly he gives the doctor his best smile.

"She worries too much. My shoulder's are not causing me problems."

"She said you would say that and not to believe you."

The doctor then does a further examination.

"It's obvious there's pain, especially the right one, I think you should have it in a sling for a couple of days, mainly to remind you not to use it and let it recover, and don't go blaming your friend I would have found out when I pulled your file anyway."

The technician arrives with the mobile x-ray unit.

"Okay I'll leave you while you have this done and then you have permission to go see your friend. She's in trauma room two."

This time Patrick gives him a genuine smile.

"Thanks doc."

"No problem."

Patrick looks through the large glass window of Trauma room two and Teresa's alone, her eyes are closed. He opens the door slowly and creeps in to the room. Teresa opens her eyes and Patrick is quickly by her side.

"You naughty girl, you gave me a fright."

"So now you only owe me thirty-nine frights."

Pleasure fills Patrick to hear her joking.

Teresa's relieved to see Patrick enter her room on his own two feet. She can see he's not moving with ease but he's doesn't look too worse for wear. It's good to see him and she takes his hand as he reaches for her.

"How are you feeling."

"My head is pounding and my body aches but nothing's broken, they said I have to stay overnight for observation after being unconscious for so long."

"Good. Glad to hear they're looking after you properly."

"How about you?"

"I'm fine, they took an x ray but I'm sure my ribs aren't broken, but I'm to wear a sling for a couple of day."

"Good. I knew you wouldn't tell him about what happened to you."

"Now that's where you're wrong. I did tell him, it's not my fault he didn't ask for details."

"I bet you had him cowering in a corner, afraid to touch you."

Patrick smiles.

"I did think of that but you catch more flies with honey and I needed him on my side to get to see you."

"That was you using honey Mr. Jane, I'm glad I wasn't on the receiving end of your vinegar."

Patrick and Teresa turn to see the young doctor in the doorway.

"He doesn't like hospitals doctor and he's seen far too many of them."

"So I have read from his file. I'm pleased to tell you that your x ray shows no broken or cracked ribs. A nurse will be in to put a sling on your arm and then you'll be discharged."

Even if he'd somewhere else to go he would have still spent the night sleeping in the chair next to Teresa's bed. She'd shooed him away to the cafeteria to get some dinner while they transferred her to a room, otherwise he stayed by her side where they chatted amiably when they weren't dozing. Both their bodies were feeling the effects of the trauma they'd suffered, each with their own aches and pains, so as the lights of the hospital were dimmed and hushed tones prevailed they were soon asleep. Patrick watching over Teresa to make sure she's truly asleep before settling himself as best he can. Luckily he's a pro at sleeping just about anywhere. He wakes up when a nurse enters the room, the beautiful colours of dawn greet him as he looks out the window. The clock in the room tells him it's after six o'clock. He slips his arm out of the sling and stretches his body to work out the kinks gifted him by the chair. The nurse checking on Teresa can't help watching him out of the corner of her eye. He walks over to the window and looks out as the small town comes to life. He turns to the nurse.

"Where are we?"

" Barstow."

"Is there an airport nearby?2

"LA is the nearest airport, there is a small one about fifteen miles away. Barstow-Daggett."

"That's just for small planes right?"

"I believe so."

"Are we going home Patrick?"

Teresa is in the process of sitting up. Patrick rushes to her side and helps her adjust her pillows.

"No I wasn't thinking of Sacramento I had another place in mind. A place where we can recuperate. Your car's totalled I'm afraid, besides I don't thing that a long car journey would be good for either one of us. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling good. The headache is gone, body aches. How about you?"

"Same here."

"You must feel worse having slept in the chair all night."

"I'm like a cat I can sleep anywhere, in any position."

"Hopefully the doctor will be around soon and we can get out of here."

"You know I think you're just as bad a patient as I am."

The nurse interrupts their conversation.

"Everything looks fine. You can get up and take a shower before breakfast."

"That sounds like heaven."

"I'll try to find out where our cases are and what's happened to your car."

"Sounds like a good idea."

Patrick takes her hand and gives it a squeeze.

"I'll be back as quickly as possible."

Images of her lying on the ground so still come back to him, he's suddenly reluctant to leave her side. She seems to read it in his face as she returns his squeeze.

"I'm fine Patrick and so are you, now go find our suitcases because I'm not going anywhere in this hospital gown."

Patrick breaks in to a smile and gives her a hug.

"I thought I was going to lose you."

"I know, I was scared too when the other car hit you, but we live to tell the tale once more."

"We're each other's good luck charms."

"Bring me back a cup of coffee."

"Will do."

Tracking down their belongings and the car takes longer than he anticipated when he's delayed at the police station. While waiting for Teresa's coffee Patrick, completes their travel arrangements and with cup in his restricted hand and pulling her suitcase he enters her room.

"Coffee and clothes as ordered."

"Great I have my marching orders so once I'm dressed we can leave."

"You have to stop at the police station and make a statement, they're typing mine up as we speak."

Teresa alights from the bed and Patrick lifts the bag on to it and she rummages through choosing clothes to wear.

"I'll be outside while you get dressed."

"That's all right just turn around it won't take long."

"Erm I have a phone call to make, so I'll go outside."

"Okay."

Teresa smiles as he closes the door and whispers after him:

"Chicken"

Patrick leans against the door, he believes he's blushing!

"Where did that come from?"

Once dressed Teresa packs away her things and checks she has everything before leaving her room. Patrick's at the nurses station chatting to a blatantly admiring audience. He looks her way as he hears the door close and rushes to her side.

"Let me take that."

"Where's yours?"

"The rest of our belongings are at the Police Station, I couldn't handle everything with this clipped wing."

He waves a hand at the nurses.

"Bye guys and thanks for everything."

Teresa echo's his sentiments before heading to the elevators.

Teresa finds he's had a cab waiting for them and they soon arrive at the police station. It's a slow process giving the statement and waiting while it's typed for signing. It's gone 2pm when she's finally freed. Patrick excused himself about 30mins before and did not return. She asks about their belongings to find that Patrick has taken delivery of them and when she heads outside she finds him leaning against the taxi cab. He holds up some paper bags.

"Lunch."

Teresa gratefully takes her bag and Patrick opens the cab door, we need to hurry our plane leaves in an hour."

"An hour! Where are we going?"

"Malibu"

"Your house?"

Patrick nods as he closes the door and heads to the other side of the cab.


	14. Chapter 14

Patrick naps on the short plane ride to Santa Monica, catching up on the uncomfortable night in the hospital chair. Lisbon sips a drink and watches him for a while. He'd booked seats on a private plane, pretty plush inside and the only passengers beside a hostess and the pilot. They sit opposite one another. It hadn't taken Patrick long to fall asleep. He's acquired an impressive bruise on the left side of his face that disappears in to his hairline. She knows from her reflection in the bathroom mirror as she took a shower that she has a matching one surrounding her cut, it peeks out under her plaster. They were both very lucky and she says a silent prayer of thanks.

Jane's beginning to stir as the plane begins its decent. He gives a rueful smile.

"Sorry, that was rude of me to leave you alone."

"No problem Patrick."

They collect their belongings and Patrick picks up keys to a rental car he's ordered at the check-in desk. They put their suitcases in the trunk and Patrick hands Teresa the keys.

"Take me home sweet lady."

Teresa rolls her eyes. On the journey they discuss dinner options, they decide on pizza with a promise from Patrick of a meal at his favourite seafood restaurant the following day.

Patrick grows silent as the car travels closer to his family home. He hasn't been back for a while, he would come to fortify himself in his quest for Red John. There were so many times that Red John got the best of him, Jane realises now that he'd become the serial killer's play thing, who he enjoyed torturing psychologically. He would come here beaten down with disappointment and often despair at other lives lost. He only had to stare at the smiley face, fading now, on his own wall, remember the scene that greeted him that night, relive the horror of it and he was ready to resume the fight, certain that he would one day win. With each encounter he learnt something more about the serial killer and he knew that above all his ego would be his downfall. Now he had won, Red John was awaiting trial nothing could save him from the death penalty, evidence was solid and judges and juries didn't like tortures, murderers and especially murderers of children and cops and Red John was guilty of them all.

Teresa pulls to a stop in front of his house. He stares at it, not moving from the vehicle, nervous now not sure if it's the right thing to do. He feels Teresa hand cover his own. He turns to her.

"It'll be all right. You can do this."

She knows he's come to say goodbye. He squeezes her hand and nods, then gets out of the car. Taking his keys from his pockets, funny how he always carries them with him, and unlocks the door. The musty smell of non-use hits him as he steps into the room. He opens the windows to let in the fresh air. He turns and looks at the empty space. Images of how it use to look flash before his eyes, bringing with it the stabbing pain it always does, but he notes it's not as intense, he can breathe.

Teresa has wandered in to the kitchen, Jane follows, she's looking out the window at the ocean beyond. She can hear the waves lapping against the pillars of the deck that extends into the water. The kitchen at least gives the illusion of occupancy, it has a toaster on the counter and a kettle on the stove, each layered with dust.

Teresa hasn't looked around the house before, she knows the stairs, the hallway and the room. It's a beautiful house, but she finds it hard to equate it with the Patrick she knows that sleeps in a motel room or more often than not up in the rafters of the CBI on a makeshift bed. A room he seems perfectly at home in. A room that has the bare elements of comfort and belongs to a man without ego or material needs.

This place screams ego, it's been taken back to its bare bones in decoration but the structure of the house is luxurious. She seen the pictures of Jane as he was, she's watched his appearance on the tv show that preceded his family's murder, the shiny suits and sleek appearance, she wonders how people were so gullible that they were taken in by him. He veritably screamed fraud and she's glad she met the Patrick of today because she probably wouldn't have liked the Patrick of his past. But she knows he was just a product of his upbringing, it's what he knew, what he was good at. His love for his family shows to her that underneath the shiny suits lay the Patrick she knows. She turns around to face him.

"This is a beautiful place Patrick."

"Thank you.."

Jane eyes can see Angela and Charlotte at the island, flour everywhere as they make cookies together. Charlotte's inexperience with the mixer had her lifting it out of the bowl before turning it off sending batter everywhere, he smiles at the sight of his two girls with dots of batter all over their faces. He takes Charlotte into his arms and gives her a hug and then licks her entire face as she collapses in giggles. He puts her back down and turns his attention to Angela advancing towards her licking his lips, she backs away shaking her head, protesting. She hits the counter behind her and one large stride has her trapped. She ducks and weaves to avoid him but he takes her face in his hands and licks his lips once more in an exaggerated fashion, Angela's still protesting and making veiled threats of withholding that were innocent to Charlotte's ears but plainly understood by her husband, so in the last moments he changes his intentions to a kiss, as they part Angela declares him a very smart man.

Jane comes out of revelry to find Teresa has left him to his memories, he wipes down the kettle and fills it with water, putting it back on the stove he lights the flame underneath. He walks to the doorway and Teresa is now looking out the window of the living room.

"I'm afraid I only have tea."

She turns.

"That would be lovely."

"Thank you."

Teresa understands and nods.

When the drinks are ready they go out on to the deck, the furniture's been stored undercover. Teresa helped Jane remove it, as it proved tricky with only one hand, and set two chairs for them to sit on. They watch the boats out on the ocean, Jane keeps up small talk to prevent further memories engulfing him. He informs her of the kind of boats they see and facts about each of them. Teresa knows what he's doing and allows him to entertain her with the useless facts of which she has no interest, even when entertainingly packaged. When their stomach informs them it's time to eat, and the air becomes cooler, they take their empty cups inside.

"Let's go out for dinner instead of the Pizza, I need to get some supplies in anyway. There's a wonderful seafood place that always has a table for me after I told the owner where to find money his father had hidden away as he didn't trust banks."

"Back in your psychic days?"

Jane nods.

"Declaring yourself a fraud didn't upset the guy?"

"I found him five hundred thousand dollars, he doesn't care if I was a fraud or not."

Jane takes out his phone and makes a reservation.

The owner of the restaurant, is a big man and engulfs Patrick in a hug, he seem oblivious of Jane's sling and Teresa sees pain cross his face.

"Patrick, Patrick, it's been so long. It's good to see you, I was so scared for you when I heard the news report of your kidnapping."

He finally releases him. His hands grip Patrick's arms, looking him up and down.

"You got him too. You're a hero around here Patrick. We all loved Angela and Charlotte and were rooting for you. You're looking a bit worse for wear my friend."

"We were in a car accident."

"We?"

Jane nods to Teresa and the owner looks at her as if he's seeing her for the first time.

"Ah you're the lady cop from the news report."

Jane does the introductions.

"Charlie this is my partner and good friend Teresa. Teresa this is Charlie."

"Any friend of Patrick's is a friend of mine."

Teresa's taken completely by surprise when she finds herself a recipient of one of Charlie's hugs, luckily it doesn't last as long as Patrick's.

"Little lady there's nothing too you. You need some fattening up. Come with me."

He heads into the restaurant, Patrick beams at Teresa having loved the look on her face as she emerged from Charlie's embrace. He whispers to her.

"He likes you."

Charlie stops at a table in a quiet corner of the room which has a view of the sea. Patrick heart stills a moment, it's their favourite table. He recovers himself and smiles at Charlie.

"Thank you. A lovely spot."

Charlie pulls a chair out for Teresa and then for Patrick.

"What's good today?"

Charlie pats Jane on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about that, trust Charlie, I know exactly what you'll like. I'll bring you the best in the house."

"That's good enough for me Charlie, how about you Teresa?"

Charlie looks at her expectantly. She shrugs.

"Okay I'm game, just don't give me anything that still has its head attached."

Charlie beams.

"Great I won't disappoint. No head for the lady."

Charlie leaves in a flourish, beckoning the drinks waiter on his way. Teresa leans in toward Patrick.

"He's quite a character."

"Yes he is."

"How long since you've been here?"

"I haven't been back since..."

Teresa nods, there's no reason to finish the sentence. The meal is delicious, perfectly cooked. Charlie comes by anxious to know if their dinner meets their approval.

Patrick wipes his lips with his napkin.

"It's fantastic Charlie, you've out done yourself."

Charlie beams and claps his hands.

"Excellent. And how about you little lady, no head."

Teresa swallows her mouthful.

"I've never eaten fish like this before Charlie, it's exquisite."

"Good, good, I prepared it myself."

"We're honoured Charlie."

"Nothing but the best for my favourite guest. Do you require anything else?"

Jane looks across at Teresa who shakes her head.

"No, we're fine Charlie."

"Bon appetit."

Charlie bows and heads back to the kitchen. Teresa looks out towards the ocean, as it's grown dark the two of them are reflected in the glass, she sees Patrick looking at her, she wonders if he's seeing Angela. She turns back to her food, looking up at Patrick. He smiles gently at her.

"It's been along day, are you feeling all right?"

"I'm doing okay."

Patrick studies her face.

"You're a little tired and the strain in your features tell me that you're also in pain. Bones aching I suspect."

She scowls at him.

"Why bother asking me?"

Patrick smiles impishly.

"To see if you'd tell me the truth. Lets get you to bed. We need to stop at the store to get some things in for the morning."

Jane signals for the check. A waiter appears and informs them that there's no charge. Charlie's waiting for them at the door. Jane is once more engulfed in a hug.

"It was great to see you Patrick. A word of advice. Now you've got him, get on with your life."

Charlie's eyes meet Teresa's as he loosens his grip of Patrick.

"I'll do my best Charlie."

"Bye old friend."

Teresa pulls into a parking slot at a local grocery store. They both alight from the vehicle and enter the store. Teresa collects a shopping cart. The store is busy despite the hour but they get round as quickly as they can. They have coffee, things for breakfast and lunch, Patrick also throws some things in for dinner that he wants to cook.

"It won't be up to Charlie's standard but I'll do my best."

"Modesty from you Patrick, I don't believe it."

"I know my limits. I'm good...very good, but not up to Charlie's standard."

"Now that's better."

They load the stuff in to the car after going through check out and head home. Patrick leaves Teresa unpacking and with instructions to make drinks. He goes in search of quilts and a camping bed. Upstairs he takes his arm out of the sling and drags his mattress in to the spare room and lays a clean sheet on it. He finds some extra pillow and lays down a quilt. He sets up a camping bed in the space where the mattress used to be, with a blanket and pillow next to it. He avoids looking at the Red John symbol He hears Teresa calling his name and he goes back downstairs.

"What are you doing with your arm out of the sling?"

Jane puts it back in.

"I've been a good boy all day. I couldn't deal with the sleeping arrangements with it in this thing."

"You should have waited for me."

Jane shrugs. Teresa knows about him sleeping under the smiley face and she's tried to understand and accept it. She's never questioned him about it or made comment but he's seen the concern in her face. After they finish their drinks Patrick shows Teresa to her room and the adjoining bathroom. He's put clean towels in. He bids her goodnight and enters his own room. As he closes the door behind him his eyes look towards the smiley face.


	15. Chapter 15

He leans against the door and stares at the grotesque face. Images flash before his eyes of that night. His happiness as he opened his front door. He couldn't wait to tell Angela about how well the night had gone, how good it would be for the them, that there was talk of a West Coast deal, and National wouldn't be far behind. Within a few years he could give up this life, he would never have to lie for a living again.

He lets out a scornful laugh. Patrick Jane, the great psychic had detected nothing in his house that night as he climbed the stairs. There'd been a great evil present in his home, his wife and daughter lay butchered in his bedroom and he detected nothing amiss. He climbed the stairs tired but excited to wake up his wife with a kiss, share his news and then maybe…..then he saw the note. He read the words and he knew what they said but he didn't. He remembers taking a slow deep breath and his hand turning the door knob, his mind having shut down, unable to accept the implications of the note, but in a dark corner he knew. He pushed the door open and it was there, the numbness that allowed him to open the door was replaced by horror. It slammed in to his body with a force that sent him to his knees. A feral scream echoed around the room as he took in the blood and mutilated bodies. His girls gone. Then a refusal to believe picked him off the floor and propelled him to their side, he took Angela in to his arms, looked in to her lifeless eyes and commanded her to speak to him. To do anything, but she remained limp as tears streamed down his face. His eyes moved to Charlotte, her eyes were closed, his mind grasped on to the hope that Red John had never hurt a child before, that maybe the note was a lie, that he was being cruel, telling him of all he could have lost. He moved to her side, gently lifted her on to his lap as he sat with his back against the wall. Her head fell back limply and he knew, he pulled her tightly in to him, and rocked back and forth, tears streaming down his face, as he buried it in to the folds of her nightgown the scent of strawberries and blood, filling his senses. He began to shake uncontrollably as the heart wrenching sobs began.

Jane comes back to reality to find himself mirroring his memories. He's sank to the floor, his arms wrapped around his knees, his head buried, rocking back and forth. He slowly raises his head, he can feel his body trembling, he unfolds himself and crawls to the camp bed and settles himself down into it and wraps himself in the blanket trying to steady himself. He hears a knock on the door followed by Teresa saying his name.

Patrick's right, her bones are aching and Teresa decides to take a shower before settling down to sleep. It's a good shower, the water coming at her is just the right velocity against her skin. The hot water feels good on her battered body and she stands underneath it for a long time, her eyes closed, enjoying the sensations as it feels like fingers messaging her pains away. She must get one of these for her own place. Finally the desire for sleep wins out and she reluctantly turns off the water and she dries herself off and wraps the towel around her as she leaves the bathroom. Patrick was thoughtful enough to place a chair in the room, she sits on it and gives her hair a quick dry with her hair dryer. She slips on her sleep wear, sitting back on the chair she holds her cross and whispers a prayer. Her thoughts turn to Patrick, she knows what's in his room, staring down on him as he sleeps. She climbs on to the mattress and pulls the duvet up to her chin, she closes her eyes to wait for sleep, but it doesn't come.

She's worried. She's worried about Patrick. She tells herself she's being silly, he's slept in that room many times under Red John's calling card. When she discovered it was still there, her immediate reaction was that it was weird, its painted in his wife's and daughter's blood. How...how can he sleep under it, how...how can he even enter the room. She's seen the crime scene photographs, read the reports, she knows the horror of the scene and can only imagine what it was like for him, as his eyes took in the scene. She's heard the nine-one-one call he made. It took him two hours after entering the house to make the call. The first responders found him against the wall, holding his daughter, covered in blood. They'd come in, as protocol dictated, with their guns out, they'd had no choice but to treat him as a suspect. They ordered him to put down the victim and to get on his knees. The report said that he'd looked at them but didn't seem to see them. They'd repeated their request, after a third time he spoke to them.

"They're dead."

He's looked down at the body in his arms and then back up at the officers.

"My daughter's dead."

They repeated their request for him to put down his daughter and to get up on to his knees. This time he followed their instructions, he was then told to put his hands behind his head, as he complied they cuffed him and walked him out of the room, taking him downstairs. One officer sat with him in the living room as the other one waited outside for backup and the detectives. He complied with requests for his clothes and to go with the officers to the station but Patrick Jane didn't say another word for eighteen hours. He sat in the interview room staring at his hands, rubbing the palm of his left hand with his right thumb. He never looked at his surroundings, never acknowledge anyone who entered the room, he retreated into a world of horror.

The detectives were able to put together a timetable of Patrick's whereabouts and concluded quickly that given the time of death he didn't commit the murders. Only when the detective told him that he was free to go did he look up at him with a puzzled look on his face and ask:

"Why? It's my fault."

Patrick's come a long way since that fateful night, he pulled his life back together, found a purpose and fulfilled it. He now has his own personal horrors from his encounter with Red John and she worries if he's reliving his past underneath the smiley face. She realises that she's not going to rest and gets off the mattress and wanders to his room and knocks softly on the door saying his name.

There's no reply to Teresa's knock, she puts her ear to the door, listening hard for any sound but there's nothing. She knocks again but still no response. She turns to walk away, but has a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she can't ignore and knows that if she goes back to her room she won't be able to sleep. She returns to the door and knocks again.

"Patrick."

She listens but there's no response. She carefully turns the knob, she wants to take a look just to satisfy herself so she can get some rest. The door opens noiselessly, she can now hear a slight noise and as her eyes adjust she can make out the camp bed that Patrick set up. She rushes over to it as her brain computes the noise, Patrick's body's shaking, she kneels down beside him and puts her hand gently on top of the cover while looking at his face, he isn't asleep, his eyes are closed but there's no looseness in his features that comes with sleep.

"Patrick, it's me, Teresa. Are you all right? You're shaking so hard, are you ill?"

She moves her hand to his brow, it's feels clammy but not hot.

"Patrick, what's wrong? I know you're not asleep, open your eyes."

Patrick's eyes open and a tear falls on to his cheek, he seems disoriented. Teresa's stroking her hand over his forehead.

"It's me Teresa, do you feel sick? You're shaking."

Awareness comes to Patrick and he sits up, dragging the cover with him. His attention's drawn to his hands and he sees they're trembling.

"I'm fine...I'm fine it was a just a nightmare."

Teresa crouches in front of him.

"No it wasn't, you weren't asleep."

Patrick looks at her, a trace of fear crosses his face but then a decision.

"I get them when I'm awake too."

Patrick studies her face looking for her reaction, does she think he's crazy?

"Sometimes...sometimes...I have images in my head...images of that night...they come sometimes..."

Teresa's eyes move to the smiley face on the wall behind him. She takes his arm.

"Come, let's go in to my room. You don't need this."

He stands up obediently and she puts his pillow under her arm and leads him out the room. As they enter her bedroom he shakes off her hold.

"I'll just go wash my face."

Teresa nods.

"Sure."

She hears him moving about and the sound of running water as she lays her pillow against the wall and sits against it. She puts Patrick's pillow next to her. When he emerges from the bathroom, she pats the spot beside her.

"Come sit, let's talk."

He doesn't look much better, he face is drawn and his eyes are red, set in deep purple holes, he looks like he's come back hell.

"You need to get some rest Teresa."

"Well that's not going to happen while I'm worrying about my friend. It's not like we have to be up at a certain time in the morning we can sleep as long as we like."

He wearily sits down on the mattress next to her and adjusts his pillow behind him. She gently touches his hand, he looks at her, she speaks softly.

"Can you tell me about it?"

Patrick looks down at his hands, there's only a slight tremor now. He's takes a deep breath and starts to talk. Never taking his eyes away from his hands he tells her about his recollections of that night and how every so often the images come back so real, it's almost like he's reliving it all over again. Teresa listens with growing horror and concern. She realises that she's never truly understood the pain and torment that's plagued his life since the murder of his family.

"Perhaps we shouldn't have come here Patrick, you're obviously not ready."

"Yes, yes, I'm ready, I'm rid of my real demon I want get rid of my imaginary ones as well. I feel I can only do that here. This is where they started, so this is where they will finish."

He finally looks at her.

"I shouldn't have brought you here. This is unfair on you."

"I'm glad you did. This isn't something you can deal with alone, or should deal with alone."

He gives her a quick smile.

"I'm glad you're here."

She covers his hand with hers.

"This is a beautiful house, tell me about it, what made you choose this one?"

"That's easy, the ocean. Angela loved the ocean as much as I did."

He shakes his head and smiles wistfully at the memory.

"The realtor knew exactly what she was doing. She led us straight to the deck overlooking the ocean and we were hooked. It didn't matter to either of us what the rest of the house looked like."

He shrugs his shoulders.

"We had a look around because we had a deal to make and didn't want the realtor to know she had us in the palm of her hands. Luckily as a mentalist, just one look at Angela told me all I needed to know so the rest of the tour we pointed out faults, real and imagined to get the price down, but if they'd stuck to their guns I would have paid the full asking price. As it was we got a pretty good deal."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

"The day before we moved in Angela told me she was pregnant..."

Lisbon looks at him in surprise.

"She told you. You hadn't already figured it out?"

Patrick smiles and Teresa can feel him relaxing.

She had really bad flu which clouded the reading. She was very sick. I carried her over the threshold and laid her on the couch and she instructed the proceedings from there. She was disappointed but she couldn't move very far without throwing up, luckily it didn't last long and in two weeks she was able to put her mark on it. Then Charlotte was born and it was the perfect place to bring up a child. We spent many hours down on the beach. Charlotte loved the sea and I taught her to swim."

Jane's face and voice is full of pride.

"I say teach her, but it was like she was a fish, I just put her in the water and it she seemed to know what to do naturally. My job was to keep her close to shore."

"It sounds like there was a lot of happiness here."

"Yes, we were very happy.."

Teresa sees his face change, his self-hatred coming off him in waves. She touches his arm.

"Patrick you can never get away from what happened here and I know that I can never convince you that you weren't to blame. But think about Angela and Charlotte, what they would want you to do. You caught him, you did what you promised you would do, what will they want you to do now?"

"I know they want me to move on but I don't know how, or if I can."


	16. Chapter 16

"Moving on doesn't mean leaving them behind, they'll always be with you, be a part of you."

"I understand that part. It's…its…."

Patrick lifts his eyes from staring at his hands and looks at Lisbon.

"I couldn't bear it again. What if it happened again? What if I lost someone again? What if it was my fault?"

"Patrick, what if you lost someone and you never told them how you felt? What if you had the chance to make some one very happy but they died alone. If Angela could go back in time and knowing how it would all work out, would she choose differently? Would she throw away everything you shared?"

Patrick's turning over his wedding band. He shakes his head.

"No, she was always a stubborn one."

"We never know what life has in store, everyone's life gets thrown in to chaos at some point. Everyone who opens themselves up to love risks loss. It's inevitable. But the alternative is worse. Loneliness is worse."

Patrick looks at her with concern.

"Are you lonely Teresa?"

"Sometimes…I want someone in my life. The job makes it difficult to meet someone and the odds are stacked against us if I do, but it won't stop me trying."

Teresa turns her body so she's looking him in the eye.

"I want to taste what you had, and I hope that it will be forever but I also know there are no guarantees, it's scary stuff without what you've experienced. I can see the love you and Angela shared, I need to confess something to you."

Patrick looks at her in surprise.

"Confess to me! Surely you know you're an open book to me?"

"Hush."

"I watched the video."

"The video?"

Patrick's puzzled at first, not knowing what she means but then he remembers as Teresa continues.

"The video you made for Eric Flynn. I know I shouldn't have but..."

Patrick's voice is soft.

"It's okay Teresa, there's nothing in there that I wouldn't share with you."

"The things you said were beautiful, what you had with Angela was special and I want that. I know that it will open me up to loss but it's worth it Patrick, to have that is a wonderful gift that's worth the risk. Deep down you know that because you've experienced it."

Patrick's making circles with his finger on the bed.

"It almost sent me crazy."

"Almost Patrick. You found a way to make it back, most people do. You found a way to survive because you wanted to. You didn't have anyone who needed you so you found a cause. You're a survivor Patrick, you're strong and you have a lot to give. You fulfilled your cause so now you have to find something else. Your cause is finished, but you still have a life to live."

"I know, I just don't know how."

Teresa studies her friend, his face testifies of the truthfulness of his words. As he runs his hand through his hair she can see how tired he is, the emotions taking their toll on his energy.

"I think you need to rest Patrick, you look exhausted, we can take this up tomorrow. Just know you're not alone, I will help you, anything you want. You're not alone."

"I know, thank you."

He grabs his pillow and starts climbing off the bed.

"You're not going back to that room."

"I'll be fine Teresa."

"There's plenty of room here."

Patrick shakes his head.

"There's no need I'll.."

"There is if I'm to get any sleep, I won't knowing your sleeping under that thing."

"Okay"

A quick smile crosses his face.

"Can't have you missing your beauty sleep."

Teresa smiles back.

"You better believe it."

Teresa moves her pillow down on to the bed and climbs under the covers. Patrick places his pillow on the bed and also lays down. He stays close to the edge not wanting to invade her space. He looks over to her.

"Good night Teresa."

"Good night."

She's not surprised when she wakes up to find he isn't there, she can't hear any movement in the bathroom, when she reaches across and lays her hand where he was sleeping the bed is cold. She checks the time and it's eight o'clock. She gets out of bed and puts on her dressing gown before going in search of him. She tries his bedroom first and is relieved to find the door still open as they left it last night and it's empty. She makes her way downstairs, finding the living room empty she goes into the kitchen, out on the deck she can see his blond curls above the back of a chair and he's sat staring out to see. As she steps out on to the deck and before she speaks he greets her.

"Good morning Teresa."

"Did you sleep at all?"

"Yes thank you."

"How long?"

"Four or five hours."

"Really, I don't believe you."

"Okay more four than five."

Teresa raises a disbelieving eyebrow at him."

"Okay more three than four, but they were deep and refreshing hours. No nightmares whatsoever. But I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. I could have laid there and listened to all your secrets but respected your privacy and came downstairs and watched the sunrise."

He looks up at her.

"You have some interesting conversations with yourself while your sleeping."

"Oh hush."

He smiles at her.

"There's coffee."

She goes in to the kitchen and pours herself a cup and sits down next to him.

"So what have you been doing out here?"

"Thinking."

"About what?"

"Our conversation."

"And?"

"It's just a start, but, I know how I have to start. Will you help me with the rest?"

"Of course I will."

"Thank you."

His gaze is back out to see.

"The sunrise was beautiful, there's nothing quite like a sunrise reflected off the ocean. Will you watch it with me tomorrow?"

"Sure."

Patrick takes a deep sigh.

"Charlotte was an early riser when we first brought her home from the hospital, I moved a rocking chair out here and Charlotte and I shared many sunrises out here while Angela got some rest. She was such a little thing, so helpless. I would lay her down on my chest, right here."

He place his right hand in the middle of his chest.

"She would crunch up into a ball and then stretch out her limbs,twist her head to look up at me, her eyes were dark pools. She looked like she had the answers to the whole universe, as if she was saying to me, Dad you think you're so clever, if only you knew what I know. Her tiny hand would hold on to my little finger with a grip stronger than something that size should have. I would tell her all the plans I had for her as she grew up. I told her that all I wanted was for her to be happy. She could do whatever she wanted with her life as long as it made her happy. I promised to always be there for her and no matter what happened or what she did she could count on me to be there for her, that I would never let her down."

Patrick turns towards Teresa a wry smile on his face.

"It was a stupid promise to make. No one can be there all the time, everyone lets everyone down at some time..."

Teresa watches his sadness deepen.

"...and I did it on a spectacular scale."

"It wasn't your fault."

Patrick smiles once more.

"I have to take some of the blame. I acted recklessly, as I often did and do, as you can testify to. I guess I haven't learnt my lesson on that score. The price I paid was higher than most. But I've got him and at a cost I probably deserved to pay."

"Patrick.."

"Teresa. I'm going to sell this place, there's no sense in keeping it. I don't need to, or want to look at that smiley face any longer, and my life isn't in Malibu, it hundreds of miles away from here."

Her heart jumps hearing Patrick talk of Sacramento as home.

"I think that's a good idea."

Patrick gives a faint nod of his head.

"I'll get in touch with the realtors after this drink. I'll be making someone's day today. I don't care what I get for it, I just want it gone. I'm sure what happened here reduced the value anyway."

As Patrick drains his cup Teresa stands up with her coffee.

"I'll take this with me and go get my shower and dress."

"Okay, I'll call the realtor."

His eyes are heavy with sadness.

"Are you sure it's what you want to do?"

Patrick stands up and takes her hand, rubbing his thumb over her skin.

"Yes. It's not going to be easy but it's the right thing to do...I know it is."

He gives her hand a squeeze and drops it. His sadness overwhelms her and she takes him in her arms and hugs him gently.

"You won't be doing this alone, I'll be with you every step."

His hold on her tightens and his voice comes out a whisper choked with emotion.

"Thank you. I owe you so much.."

"You owe me nothing...only dinner."

She feels him smile.

"Deal"

She pulls away from him and searches his face. He gives her a reassuring smile.

"I'll be fine, I have to go through it if I'm going to move on."

"Okay"

As Teresa runs up the stairs Patrick tries the number he remembers for the realtor they used to buy the home but it says it no longer exists. He opens a drawer in the kitchen and takes out a dark green leather-bound book. He traces his finger down the cover, an image flashing through his mind of Angela leaning over the counter writing in it. He opens it up and her handwriting stares back at him. The letters written with care and grace in contrast to his ugly, hurried script. He smiles when he reads the notes she put against the entries in to the address book. This is definitely not for other people's viewing. Angela would include a 'description' of the person and if you didn't give a good first impression you did not want to read what she put. It was all in good fun, but the recipient probably wouldn't feel that way. With his memory he never had to use it, but it was a lifeline to Angela. As he flips through the pages he surprised to see his own name. It's his cell number, he guesses she put it in just in case something happened to her phone. Next to his name in large letters was the word 'SEXY' he couldn't help but smile, he loved her calling him that. She was an incredible woman and that she loved him in every way never ceased to amaze him. How he missed her still, and apart of him always will. He wouldn't want it any other way.

He finds Shumway realtors and the number he had's crossed out with another written in. She must have discovered the change when she was recommending them to a neighbour who was selling. He punches the numbers into his phone and after three rings it's picked up.

.


	17. Chapter 17

When Teresa's dressed and she comes downstairs Patrick's nowhere in sight. She searches through the few rooms that are on the ground floor shouting his name but there's no answer. She's certain he isn't upstairs but goes to the bottom step and calls up anyway to be certain. There's only silence. She notices that the front door isn't closed properly and giving a sigh of relief she goes outside.

She hears a bang from her right and follows the sound towards the side of the house. She finds some doors open near the bottom of the house with a few steps leading down in to a dark space. She leans her head inside and calls out Patrick's name.

"Don't come in its dark, the light's not working, I'm coming out."

Teresa steps back as she hears further clattering. It seems that Patrick is dragging something out. She hears him hit something and curse.

"Are you all right? Do you want some help?"

Patrick's face appears in the door way. he has a grease stain down the left cheek. He smiles at her.

"Thanks I'm fine just stand back."

Patrick backs his way up the steps, he's definitely dragging something with him. As it comes in to view she see's it's a lawn mower. Patrick hauls it up the final step then steps away and rotates his right shoulder and rubs his arm.

"I called the realtor and they were showing some one a house down the road last week and they asked about this one. She expects they'll want to see it tomorrow. I thought I'd better clean the place up a bit."

"You're not mowing the lawn."

"It's okay, it's electric and practically pushes itself. I've done the hard part."

"Yes and you shouldn't have."

"I wondered if you would tidy up the flower beds and then we could go out for lunch and buy some paint while we're out."

"I'll be watching you."

"Yes Ma'am."

It's gone noon when they finish in the garden. After Patrick finished mowing he helped Teresa with the flower beds. Luckily there weren't many beds as they were very neglected. He did have a gardener coming in for most the time that's he's been away but he died eighteen months ago and Patrick never replaced him. Jane gathers up the garden refuse and puts it in the bin.

"Shall we go get cleaned up for dinner?"

Teresa looks at his grease stained face and dirt on his hands and up his arms. She looks at her own, which are only dirty on her fingers and palms.

"Yes I think you'd better."

Patrick moves in close to her."

"You think you're so much better, but you've forgotten about scratching your face, let me have a look at it."

As he was speaking Patrick's taken a gentle hold of her chin. The wicked twinkle in his eye told he was lying and she tried to duck but was too late as Jane wiped dirt on her face.

"Now that's much better."

Teresa can't help smiling and shakes her head.

"You think you're so funny don't you!"

Patrick shrugs

"Just trying to help out."

"Oh yea. Just watch your back Patrick Jane."

Patrick twists and turns trying to look at his back, when he turns back Teresa's gone. A smile plays on his lips and he gathers their tools and puts them back in storage. He's whistling as he makes his way towards the front door. He's surprised when the door's yanked open as he's about to take hold of the handle. Before he gathers his wits a stream of water hits him in the face. He yelps and steps back in surprise, as the water continues he ducks his head and raises his hands for protection. The water stops and he hears Teresa's voice:

"Now that's helping some one clean up."

Patrick removes his hands, water's dripping down his face as he smiles standing on the step watching a retreating Teresa walking up the stairs.

Lunch is at Patrick's favourite Mexican place. It's nothing to look at and if Teresa was by herself she wouldn't give the place a second glance. The tables a grey wooden bulky benches, the lighting dull and the decorating looks shabby, the whole thing giving off a dingy feel. But Patrick swears by the food. Teresa can't help but wonder what possessed him to give the place a try in the first place.

"It was recommended by a friend."

Teresa shakes her head at Patrick reading her mind once more.

"That the way it usually works with these type of places. We snobby Caucasians miss out on a lot of great food because we take fluff over substance. The owners here started this place on a shoe string and place their money into great ingredients and putting their five children through college."

"I look forward to tasting it."

Patrick's right, it's the best tasting Mexican she's ever had. She wipes guacamole off her chin.

"I think we may have to move the CBI Headquarters down here."

"You enjoyed it then."

"That was delicious."

"Good. I promise I will bring you here again."

"You'd better."

Patrick holds his hands up in surrender and raises his voice just a little.

"Ow Lisbon there's no need to threaten me.."

Teresa is aware of eyes turning to look at them.

"..and you a cop too."

"Put your hands down, I wasn't threatening..."

Patrick's shaking his head.

"Tone Teresa tone."

She looks at the other customers and the employees.

"I wasn't threatening him, he's just messing around because I sprayed water in his face earlier..."

As the people are still looking at her, their expressions unchanging she tries again.

"...only because he wiped dirt on my face...I wouldn't have done it otherwise."

She hears Patrick chuckling.

"Me thinks she doth protest too much."

Teresa scowls at him and leans in to whisper to him.

"I'm going to kill you."

She walks off and cringes as she hears Patrick's voice behind her.

"More threats ladies and gentlemen."

He leaves money on the table for the meal and exists after her. Too late he remembers that she has the car keys.

.Teresa only goes around the block as she doesn't know her way around and Patrick needs to buy some paint. Although he hasn't talked about it she has a good idea why he needs it. As she pulls back into the car park Patrick's pacing back and forth bringing his phone to his ear. His back is towards her and she beeps at him and is perversely satisfied to see him jump. His face erupts in to a big grin when he realises that it's her. He makes sure he's safely strapped in the vehicle before saying anything.

"I knew you'd be back, you can't remember how to get back to the house can you?"

Teresa doesn't look at him.

"I would have found my way if I wanted to. It's just I promised I would look after you and you've already had a busy day."

"Ohhhhh..okay. That's very kind of you."

Teresa mumbles:

"You better believe it."

After a couple of minutes of silence with only Patrick giving directions, Patrick seeks to fix things.

"Let's call it even shall we and no more tricks from me for the rest of the day."

Teresa looks at him.

"You promise?"

"Yes I promise, cross my heart. Just turn in there."

"Wait a minute, just for today?"

A smile spreads across Jane's face.

"You can't take away all my fun."

Lisbon parks the car and follows Patrick into the exclusive paint shop. She look at the prices and lets out a soft short whistle.

"I could paint my whole apartment three times for the price of a can."

Patrick looks ruefully at her.

"I know it's outrageous but it's what we used...at my insistence I must add...I was a different man back then."

"I understand. You grew up with nothing and when you could afford it you wanted the best. You wanted the best for Angela and you took satisfaction knowing that you'd succeeded in the world."

"Ridiculous hey? I should've been hiding away, as it was ill-gotten gains. I earned it by deceiving people, treating everyone as a mark."

"You helped a lot of people."

"I was a con man...still am."

"Yea but now you use your powers for good."

Patrick can't stop himself from returning Teresa's smile.

"I guess this is heavy stuff to be getting into in a paint store."

Lisbon eyes turn serious.

"Patrick, you made mistakes and have paid a high price and have more than served your penance, it's time to forgive yourself."

Patrick is nodding his head.

"I know...I'm trying...I guess it's just being back here...so many memories..."

His hand picks up the colour he needs.

"Lets get this done."

Back at the house while Patrick's digging out his decorating equipment, Teresa is dragging his mattress out of the room and putting in to hers. She hears him shout her name from downstairs and together they lay down the protective sheets on top of the carpet and set up the bench for Patrick to reach the high spots. Patrick places the can of paint on a fold up table and Teresa sets down the paint brushes and rollers. Patrick's staring at the face, his expression unreadable, Teresa reaches out and touches his arm.

"Are you all right."

Patrick's reply comes out a murmur

"Yes I'm fine."

He steps towards the wall and traces the bottom of the circle with his finger.

"It's the last bit I have of her..."

He turns to face Teresa.

"...Is that ghoulish?"

Teresa's taken aback, she wonders if she's equipped to deal with all the stuff Patrick has going on. She's unsure how to answer him, she plumps for honesty.

"It is a bit."

Teresa lets out the breath she didn't realise she was holding when he smiles at her.

"Your right."

He moves to the table and prise's the lid off the paint can. He picks up a stick lying next to it and stirs the paint. He pours the paint into the trays and picks up a brush, walking over to the wall he dips the brush in the paint, and with a deep breath and a stroke of his brush the smiley face begins to disappear.

"Are you going to stand there, or are you going to help?"

Teresa makes a pot of tea and her coffee while Patrick's rinsing out the painting tools. She's standing on the deck sipping her drink when she realises that he hasn't come downstairs. She goes to the bottom of the staircase and listens but she can't hear any water running. She moves up the stairs and finds him in the doorway of his room.

"It looks better don't you think?"

"It does."

She hears Jane sigh.

"It's over, Red John isn't a part of my life any more. Angela and Charlotte are just memories now. They've been gone a long time."

"Yes they have."

Patrick turns to face her.

"But I have you Teresa, and I don't want to lose you."

"You're not going to lose me."

He moves a step closer to her and she can feel his breath faintly on her face.

"I don't want to lose you because of me, because I pushed you away, or because I walked away."

He takes her hand and with his other hand he traces her jaw line. She closes her eyes at his touch.

"It's not because you're all I have left in my life...even though you are...I know I dread the thought of this time together being over and not spending every minute of the day with you. I know I'm a risk, I know I don't have a lot to offer right now, but I hope you will give me a chance...give us a try."


	18. Chapter 18

Teresa's stunned, he's surprised her! He can read it in her face.

"I can see I've taken you by surprise, I've taken me by surprise. I don't want you to answer right now. I want you think about it. I'm a lot to take on I know, it's not something to be done lightly."

Teresa finds a voice.

"Patrick are you sure?"

"Yes. I look at that wall an it's completely blank. It had my wife's blood on it for so long, representing the evil done here and I painted it on my heart. But now it's gone and there's nothing. It's the same for me. Everything I ever had is gone. My family, my life and now Red John. What I have is now and you're my now."

"You shouldn't turn to me just because there's no-one else."

"It's not like that."

"How can you be sure?"

Patrick looks to the ceiling searching for the right words.

"I guess the truth is I can't be certain, but I know that I look forward to seeing you every day. I know that I feel happy when I'm with you. I know that I can trust you with my darkest secrets. I know that when something happens, you're the one I want to tell. I know when I'm not with you, I miss you."

Her mind is whirling but she tries to choose her words carefully.

"I love spending time with you. I care for you deeply. You're the most important person in my life, but I...I don't know if I love you."

Patrick takes a hold of her hand.

"That's okay, I don't know too. I'm not asking you to marry me, not yet anyway, but to give us a chance. I know I want to try, that I'm totally certain about. Just think about it, that's all I ask."

Teresa nods her head, her eyes brimming with tears. Patrick can see she's about to say something and he puts a finger against her lips.

"Shhhh. Don't say anything now, I want you to be certain. But know that whatever you decide I'll still be around. You don't have to say yes to keep me in Sacramento."

Teresa can't stop the tears falling and Patrick brushes them away with his thumb, he pulls her in close and hugs her tight. He whispers in her ear.

"I believe I have a dinner to cook. I'm going to nip to the store as I realise I've forgotten something, you stay here and fix your face."

He feels Teresa nod in to his shoulder. He pulls away and with his hands on her arms he dips his knees to look her in the face.

"Whatever you decided will be all right. I want what's best for you and if that isn't me then that's okay."

She nods her head again. He kisses her on the cheek and is gone. Teresa doesn't move as she listens to him grab his keys and open and close the door. She hears him get into the car and start it up and then he's gone and the emptiness of the house envelops her. After a moment she realises that she needs to move and she goes in to the bathroom and washes her face. She stares at her reflection, eyes red and puffy. A smile flickers across her face as what Patrick said sinks in. He's giving her alone time to recover and to think, that man's never forgotten anything in his life, except when he wants to. She splashes her face once more and dabs it dry with the hand towel hanging on the heated towel rack. She buries her face, enjoying it's softness and warmth. She takes some deep breaths, then lifts up her head and shakes it, as if trying to set it working again. She sits down on the bed then swings her legs around and lies down.

She closes her eyes and allows pictures of Patrick run through her mind. She sees him as he first arrived in her life, a broken man, looking for a purpose, in need of a home. The CBI became that home and with its security propping him up he became stronger and with it irritating, reckless, dangerous, but brilliant. There were times when the hassle just didn't seem worth it, but then his vulnerability surfaced from an encounter with the loss of a child or the cruelty of Red John and she knew that for better or for worse they were his only hope of salvation.

Then he became her partner, her friend. Still irritating, reckless and dangerous but now he trusted her, not with everything but that was usually for her own protection. He started to come in to her office and lay down on her couch to keep her company as she finished off paperwork. Sometimes he didn't need to say anything just being there, so she wasn't alone, was enough.

She remembers when Red John took him, the whole weekend was gone, he had him for almost three days before she even realised. The emotions that went through hit her as a body blow. He could be dead before she'd even know he was gone, he was at least suffering. When she saw him tied to the chair, his suffering beyond her imagination, she was torn between despair and hope. He was alive, they'd found him in time.

He'd shut her out at first, but their bond had won through. He shared it all with her, trusted her with the great shame he'd felt and he'd listened to her, fought his way through it all. Been there for her, saved her life, caught Red John. The horror of the roof top where Jane had chosen her over himself.

She became aware of tears wetting her face again, she brushes them with her hand. She can see him standing in front of her, letting her see his scars - scars on the outside and inside. She realises he's shared everything with her, there's nothing he's held back. She thinks back to her answer to him. How could she say she didn't know if she loved him? Emotions begin to overwhelm her and she closes her eyes as if that will contain them, keep them from spilling over. She loves him! He's a part of everything she is, she doesn't want a life without him woven in it, as much a part of her as she is. She also realises that he was holding back, not wanting to overwhelm her, because he loves her and he knows it too.

Patrick pulls over and stops the car when he's out of sight of the house. He looks down at his hands and they're shaking. He clasps them together to help still them. He looks at the houses on the street, his old neighbourhood. He realises that he's just a few yards away from the entrance to the local park. He puts the car in park, gets out the vehicle and heads towards the entrance. A woman and a young girl are leaving and he sidesteps out of their way. He stops and turns to watch them leave. The girl holding her Mother's hand as she skips along the pavement. Her dark hair's pulled back in to a ponytail and bops up and down. It brings back memories of following Angela and Charlotte, the two of them walking ahead while he followed behind pushing Charlotte's bike as she was too young to ride it by the road. He can see them turning to look at each other, their laughter floating back to him. This was their second favourite place to go, after the beach.

He turns away from the Mother and daughter and enters the park. There are changes, the young trees planted along the pathway are now much taller than him and leaden with leaves. They were shorter than Charlotte when first planted and she would measure herself against them to see how much they'd grown, when they became taller than her, he was her measuring stick. They were up to chest height the last time they visited together. Charlotte was fascinated that they would one day become taller than her Daddy, that day is here but... The memories are turning his legs to lead, he collapses on a nearby bench. He turns his face to the sun and closes his eyes, letting the heat of it burn in to him. He hears footsteps approaching and is surprised when they stop nearby. He squints open his eyes and an old man, clearly in his seventies is watching him. He's dressed in knee-length shorts and a checkered button down shirt. Both are covered in dirt and grass stains. The man smiles at him.

"Well if it isn't Patrick Jane. It's been a long time since I've seen you in here."

Jane sits up straighter and breaks in to a smile.

"Henry! You're not still working here?"

"What else am I going to do?"

He nods towards a young man tending to some flower beds a few yards down.

"That's my great-grandson, Kyle, he's the first one to show interest in this place. I'm teaching him how to take over the reins when I'm finally forced out."

He rubs his the knuckles of his right hand.

"Arthritis?"

"Yea, it's making it difficult to hold the tools but..."

He taps the side of his head.

"..what I have up here is still worth a lot."

Jane pats the space beside him.

"Come sit down. How's your wife and the rest of your family, three boys and two girls, if I remember and a hundred grandchildren."

Henry laughs.

"Not quite, but it does seem like it sometimes, and there's great-grandchildren to add."

His face turns solemn

"Maddy died four years ago, passed away in her sleep. I was lying next to her and didn't know a thing until I woke up the next morning."

"I'm sorry Henry."

"We had a good life together and I certainly can't complain to you."

His wise eyes search Patrick's face.

"How are you? I've read about your antics in Sacramento, I'm glad you got him, what he did to your lovely wife and child was pure evil."

Patrick nods his thanks.

"I'm doing okay."

The man studies him again and Patrick begins to squirm a little.

"I hope you won't mind some advice from an old man?"

He doesn't wait for a reply.

"It was the highlight of my day when you and your family would come in to the park. Your daughter was a delight, she was the only child who noticed me, she would come and ask about the flowers and my family. She was a very curious young lady. She would tell me about her day and talk about you and your wife. I hope you don't mind me talking about her?"

Jane smiles wistfully.

"No. I..I..never get to talk about her with someone who knew her."

Henry nodded.

"She loved you very much, she didn't need to tell me though it was plain to see, and that you loved her too. She may not have lived long Patrick but you gave her a very happy life, she felt loved and that's all we can do. The same with your wife, I could tell you were devoted to her."

Patrick trying hard to hold back his emotions as tears threaten, he's looking down at his hands rubbing his fingers against each other.

"You didn't have your family for long, and that was a terrible tragedy, but it's an even greater tragedy if you deny yourself that happiness again. When you find it Patrick grab it with both hands and cling to it. You deserve it and the woman you love deserves it too. They loved you and won't want you to live your life alone."

Patrick looks up his eyes shining, his voice choking with emotion.

"Thank you. I needed to hear that. I...I...I..just...I guess, you could say, I just declared my intentions an hour ago to a woman I love very much, asking her to give me a chance."

"What are you doing here?"

"Giving her time to think about it."

"How long have you known her?"

"Ten years, I work with her."

"The pretty brunette that was in the papers?"

Patrick nods.

"Teresa Lisbon."

Henry shakes his head.

"My second piece of advice. Get off that bench and go back to her and do more than declare you intentions, tell her how you feel, leave her in no doubt."

Patrick looks at him for a moment and a smile creeps across his face.

"I can't remember, were you always this bossy?"

"Only with those who're too stupid to see what's best for them. Now get out of here."

Patrick jumps up off the bench and takes Henry by surprise when he wraps his arms around him in a hug.

"Thank you Henry."

Henry watches Patrick run out of the park, he taps his head and says to no one in particular.

"Yep, what I have up here is still worth a lot."


	19. Chapter 19

Teresa's surprised when she wakes up, not realising she'd fallen asleep. A faint whistling reaches her ears and she smiles, realising that Patrick's back. She gets up off the bed and goes in to the bathroom to take a shower, she wants to look her best for this evening. She has a thought and comes back into the bedroom and searches through her suitcase. She finds the one dress that she packed for the trip, her favourite emerald dress, knee length with a round collar. She hangs it up in the bathroom to allow the steam from the shower to get rid of some of the wrinkles.

Patrick is enjoying himself, but is nervous too. It's a long time since he cooked dinner for anyone, never mind a woman he wants to declare his love for. He'd looked in on her when he got back and found her asleep. He took it as a good sign that she'd come to a decision and he deduced that it's in his favour as the stress of disappointing him wasn't keeping her awake. He decided to let her sleep and he came downstairs and dug out the good china. He washed it and dried and polished it so that it now gleams. When he was getting the lawn mower he'd spied the picnic table, he pulled it out and washed it down, he set it out on the deck over the sea. He managed to find a tablecloth that he threw over it and he brought some flowers in from the garden.

He'd heard Teresa moving around and then the shower start. It finished fifteen minutes ago and he expects her down soon. He spooning the potatoes in to a bowl when he hears her coming down the stairs. He carries the bowl out to the table and when he turns around Teresa's standing in the door way. He's momentarily stunned and she smiles at him.

"I never thought I see the day when Patrick Jane's speechless."

He smiles in return.

"You look amazing."

She slightly bows her head.

"Thank you. The table looks great."

Jane's still staring and then realises he hasn't replied, he shrugs.

"Best I could do in the circumstances."

"And the meal smells wonderful."

He pulls out a chair.

"Sit here while I finish the fish, I won't be long."

Teresa walks over and sits in the offered chair. He pours her a drink. They smile at each other, each seeing the other the same but differently, Jane breaks contact and goes into the kitchen.

Teresa puts down her fork and leans back in her chair.

"That was amazing!"

Jane smiles:

"Thank you."

She sweeps her hand across the table.

"How did you make such simple ingredients taste like that."

"I've always been a dab hand in the kitchen, perhaps if my upbringing had been different I would have been a chef."

Teresa looks at him for a moment and sees the twinkle in his eyes and laughs.

"Somehow I don't think you have the temperament to work in a kitchen."

Jane's shaking his head.

"No, I don't think so, too many hours and too much shouting."

While getting ready Teresa had pondered on how she was going to approach the subject. Through dinner Patrick seemed happy to talk about other things but she sees an opening and takes it.

"Mmm but you do realise that you will now be doing all the cooking."

She sees Patrick's mouth twitch but he controls it.

"I'm fine with that since we'll be going back to Sacramento the day after tomorrow."

"As long as we have that str..."

Teresa suddenly realises what he said.

"...we're going back to Sacramento?"

"Unless you want to stay here longer, there just isn't a lot of furniture."

Teresa can't help but smile.

"No there isn't."

"Teresa"

Patrick looks at her with an intensity that catches in her stomach.

"What I said earlier...it wasn't quite the truth..."

Teresa's stomach plummets and Jane carries on quickly seeing her reaction.

"I'm not taking it back, I...um...just want to add an amendment."

Teresa raises her eyes questioningly.

"An amendment?"

He has her confused, she's not sure if she wants to hear what's next, she can barely breathe.

"Yes...Look can I hold you're hand?"

She lays her hand on the table and he takes hold and rubs it with his thumb. He stares at it for a few moments and then looks up at her.

"I don't think I was entirely clear about my feelings and I think you deserve not to be left in any doubt."

Teresa looks at their hands and then at him.

"Okay."

She sees him take a deep breath.

"I love you Teresa."

She's caught by surprise as tears spring immediately to her eyes, she looks at him, and for a reason she can't explain, maybe it's emotions, maybe it's disbelief as it suddenly hits her that's she's been waiting for him to say those words for a long time, but she wonders if she heard correctly, maybe it's her own desires she heard and she's afraid of making a fool of herself so she just looks at him, blinking away tears.

Patrick's grateful that he can read what's going on or the stretched silence would be unsettling. He gives her hand a squeeze, a smile playing on lips as he's not going to help her totally out of the situation.

"You're suppose to say something."

Horror and embarrassment wash across her face.

"I...I..I'm sorry Patrick...can you...can you say it again?"

"Anything you wish my dear. I love you Teresa."

Patrick watches as a beautiful smile breaks across her face.

"I love you Patrick."

Together they clear away the dishes, he washes and she dries. He makes them drinks as she finishes. He hands her a mug.

"If I'd known how this day was going to end I would've bought some champagne."

She accepts it with a smile and they move out on to the deck to sit side by side as the sun sets over the ocean.

"Good you didn't with the tablets you're on."

She looks over at him with concern.

"How are you doing? You've had a busy day."

He gives her a gentle smile.

"Never better Teresa. I'm doing good."

She searches his face and sees no tell-tale signs of tiredness or pain. But she sees a face that's as familiar to her as any face that she's seen nearly every day for ten years would be, but it's like she's seeing it for the first time.

She sees the stubble on his strong, yet gentle jaw line glistening in the receding sunlight, giving his face a golden glow. His lips soft and full are slightly parted revealing a glimpse of his perfect white teeth. He has a faint scar on his bottom lip, that stands out in this light. His lips pull up gently and small arcs of laughter lines gather at the corners. She's sees the smile widen as she continues her investigation and dimples appear. She has an almost overwhelming desire to touch them but keeps her hands tightly on her mug. She's never really noticed his nose before, but then you only really notice a nose when it's unusual. His is the perfect size and shape for his face, adding to, rather than being a distraction.

She knows that she's been staring too long, and as she meets his eyes she expects, either discomfort or mockery but she finds honesty. They're green, did she already know that? If someone asked her to describe her consultant would she say his eyes are green, or had she thought them blue? She's not sure, but they're definitely green. They're alive with intelligence but softened by his suffering. She can see the remnants of his pain and despair but her breath's taken away by the depth of love on show and it's for her. She removes a hand off her cup and reaches out and touches his face and leans towards him.

He always found it endearing the way this tough cop can blush so easily. He watches fascinated as the pink glow slowly appears on her cheeks. The pink enhances her green eyes. Although his are green too, they're as different as chalk and cheese. Her's are large, open and honest, hopefully he can be that way for her one day. He can read her every thought and it causes a fire to burn within.

His eyes travel down her noble nose. Strong and straight like a representation of her inner self. He knows that she crunches up her nose when she truly laughs, he wants to make her truly laugh. He mentally runs his finger across her delicate jaw and comes to rest in the cleft of her chin. He raises his eyes a fraction to her lips. They're soft and beautiful, he wonders if she's aware that she's lightly biting her bottom lip and how endearing it is. His heart skips a beat as the lips slowly part, they're full and inviting, they move slowly towards him, and he feels her gentle touch on his cheek. He mirrors her movement and their lips touch.

The sky's now dark and they lay on Teresa's mattress entwined in each other's arms, feeling a little like teenagers as they haven't gone beyond the exploration of their kisses. It's been a busy day and Patrick suddenly felt like he'd been hit by a truck. As if some one hadn't just popped the air in his balloon with a pin, but stomped on it until it burst open with the balloon in tatters. He fell asleep quickly after taking his medications, leaving Teresa to ponder on the surprising events of the day. She's remembering the uniqueness of his lips, how they felt against her own. How right it felt to be kissing him, it didn't feel awkward, or strange or yucky, but felt like the resolution of a long drawn out drama that had the viewers shouting at the screen 'kiss already'.

The thought enters her mind, 'Patrick Jane's in love with me and I love him!' It brings a smile to her face, it fills her with warmth and she stops thinking of the past and concentrates on the present. The steady rise and fall of his chest underneath her, the sound of his heartbeat in her ear as it sends her to sleep.

Something's woken her. She looks at Patrick and he's still fast asleep. She strains to hear but all seems quiet. She determines to go look, as she knows she won't get back to sleep if she doesn't. She quietly makes her way across the bedroom floor and carefully opens the door. She stops to listen once more but only silence answers. She tiptoes down the stairs, stopping at where the wall ends and carefully looks around it, she relaxes when she sees nothing. She continues down the stairs and heads towards the kitchen, she catches her breath when she sees a light. She looks around for a weapon and spies a baseball bat behind the couch. She moves towards it, as she picks it up it hits her. How is there a couch? It's just a dream. With that realisation also comes the feeling that there's no danger, as she looks towards the light in the kitchen she knows there's nothing to fear. She puts the bat down and walks into the kitchen.

If she needed further evidence that she's dreaming the presence of Angela Jane proves it. She's at the stove stirring something in a pot and turns when Teresa enters. She smiles at her.

"Hello Teresa."

Teresa feels uncomfortable facing Patrick's dead wife on the night they declared their love for one another. Angela reads her.

"Relax Teresa, I'm happy for you and for Patrick. He's mourned me far too long. I want to thank you for saving him."

"Saving him?"

"Yes. I want you and Patrick to have a long and happy life together. He deserves it, you both deserve it."

"Good, I want that too."

Angela nods looking happy with her answer. Then she steps towards her a worried look on her face.

"Teresa, you need to listen to me, you need to listen to Patrick, you need to get him to a hospital."

Teresa's bewildered but the urgency in Angela's voice fills her with panic.

"Why? He's doing well. He says he's fine, he just gets tired."

Angela is nodding her head.

"He doesn't know. Listen to him Teresa, when the time comes you'll know. Trust yourself Teresa, you'll know, get him help."

Fear grips at Teresa's heart at the intensity of Angela's expression.

"I will."

She sees Angela relax as she smiles.

"Good. I'm sorry if I frightened you, I know it'll be all right now. Just don't forget to listen."

Then she's gone and Teresa's awake.


	20. Chapter 20

Teresa wakes up from the dream and looks over at Patrick in alarm. She studies his face, it looks peaceful, there's no evidence of any pain on his features, his breathing is steady and strong. She'd rolled off him during sleep and so moves back to resting her head on his chest. He wraps his arm around her and says softly:

"Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine. I just woke up and was missing you."

She can feel his muscles move beneath her as he tightens his hold and she knows he's smiling.

"That's good. I like being missed."

She moves her head and looks up at him.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good."

"Are you sure?"

He looks at her quizzically.

"I'm sure."

"Good."

She snuggles up closer to him, though that's not really possible, and they fall back to sleep.

Patrick wakes up to find Teresa has rolled off him again and he turns on to his side spending a few minutes just staring at her back, and enjoying the knowledge that she loves him too and that there's a real possibility that this will be his future, waking up beside her every morning. As he looks at her and desire builds within him, a conversation with his doctor before leaving the hospital comes to his mind. He was only half listening when she spoke about intercourse, it wasn't something he expected to have to deal with. He'd considered himself still married for so long, he didn't see himself getting back in to that game very soon, but she'd warned him against it for an amount of time, something about his heart and the damage the taser had done. How long was it? Has the time passed? He will have to check it out when he gets back...when they get back to Sacramento.

He rolls over and slips out of the bed, being careful not to wake her. He leaves the bedroom and walks to the room he shared with his wife. As he lays his hand on the door knob he notices that the dread that usually accompanies him as he enters this room, is now at a manageable level. There's regret and there's pain, after all he loved them dearly, they were his world, and he will always remember them, but whereas missing them had full reign of his heart, the void they left behind is now filled with his love for Teresa. He pushes open the door, he looks around, it's room, just a room - almost.

Teresa found him in his usual morning place, on the deck with a cup of tea in his hand. The aroma of coffee filled the air as she entered the kitchen and she poured herself a cup before stepping out side.

"Good morning Teresa."

She moves up close and kisses him.

"Good morning."

Patrick licks his lips.

"I can get use to waking up to a morning kiss, it could almost replace my cup of tea."

Teresa smiles at him.

"Almost huh. Let's see if I can change your mind."

She kisses him again, deep and lingering. As they part she looks at him questioningly keeping her mouth just inches away from his.

"Well?"

She sees the twinkle in his eyes. He licks his lips again.

"You...I think."

Teresa has to move back a little as he brings his cup unto his mouth and takes a sip, he looks thoughtful.

"No..definitely your kisses win out."

He puts down his cup, without losing eye contact and moves towards her, she pulls back.

"Think again, I'm not a woman to be toyed with."

Patrick laughs and reaches out and grabs her, pulling her on to his lap.

"Not so fast. It's always good to get the rules out there at the beginning, so no toying with Teresa. I'll remember. Now I have a rule, I need three good morning kisses to start my day."

Teresa nods her head.

"Sounds like a reasonable rule."

"Well..!"

"Well what?"

"I've only had two."

"Ahh. Funny how that's worked out."

She leans in to him so their lips are almost touching, he smiles.

"It's just a coincidence."

"Right"

They kiss passionately.

"A very good morning Teresa."

Teresa keeps an eye on Patrick as the time approaches for the realtor and potential buyer to arrive. He seems relaxed and happy. They spent the couple of hours going around the house with a duster and a mop and vacuüm. Patrick argued when she shoved the cloth in his hand, but after yesterday she wants him to rest today. He did well but it caught up with him in the end, so today he's going to take it easy, whether he likes it or not. She admits to herself that her dream may be influencing her thinking. She's tried to put it to the back of her mind but it keeps resurfacing. She keeps telling herself that it was just a dream, but somehow she feels it was more than that. Patrick isn't out of the woods yet and she needs to be vigilant.

The door bell goes and it's the realtor. Patrick takes him around the house. He rolls his eyes at her as the realtor gushes about 'How he loves what they've done with the place'. After the tour they leave the realtor to it. A potential buyer feels more comfortable looking around the house without the owners there. They head for the beach.

They discard their foot wear at the base of the steps leading to the sand, their arms wrapped around one another as they walk close enough to the breaking waves that the water runs over their feet as it reaches the shore. They walk in silence, just enjoying the view, sun, and being close to one another. Jane's hit by how long it's been since he walked like this with a woman, to feel as if she's attached to him as they mimic each other's movements. His arm engulfing her waist, making him feel a protector. He looks across at her and she seems miles away deep in thought, not for the first time today, there's a tension in her face.

"Is something bothering you Teresa?"

She's startled out of her revelry and he see's something fleetingly before she smiles at him.

"No, no, everything fine."

He stops walking and turns to look at her. He brushes her hair away which is blowing in her face."

"You've known me long enough to know that there's no use lying to me. There's something wrong. If it's about us then I want us to talk about it, if it's something else, then I want to help."

A mixture of guilt and irritation crosses Teresa's face. Jane know's the irritation's there because she hates that he can read her and he can understand how annoying it must be, but it's a part of who he is, it's not something he can turn off. Teresa decides to use it as deflection.

"Patrick, you know I hate that. I don't want you reading me."

Jane shrugs.

"I'll do my best and I promise that normally I won't call you on it, but this between us is new and your hiding something is scaring me a little."

Teresa's guilt goes up a notch.

"It's silly really."

"If it's bothering you then it's not silly."

She looks away, gathering her thoughts and then looks at him.

"Angela was in my dreams last night."

Patrick catches his breath.

"She told me that she was happy about us being together..."

Patrick smiles with relief but sees that there's more.

"And?"

"She warned me to listen to you and to get you to the hospital. It was strange really, because she said you didn't know, but that I was to listen to you. What can you tell me if you don't know?"

Patrick's surprised, he certainly wasn't expecting this. He knows that he needs to reassure Teresa.

"I'm not sure what she means, I'm feeling good, I'm improving all the time. When we started this little trip and spent our first night on the beach at Half Moon Bay just building a sandcastle caused me pain, now I can go a whole day."

He moves a hand up to her face and cups it gently.

"You've worried about me for so long and now we're together it's taken it up a notch."

Teresa smiles but Patrick knows he hasn't convinced her.

"You will tell me if something changes?"

"I promise I will. I've never felt happier Teresa, I've no intention of cutting it short. If there's a problem I will tell you about it straight away."

He bends his knees to look her in the eye.

"Do you believe me?"

Teresa searches his face and is satisfied he's telling the truth.

"Yes, but if you ever go back on your word, I'll hurt you myself."

She smiles at her own words and Patrick laughs.

"I'll keep that in mind."

He takes her in his arms and hugs her tight, pressing his whole body against hers, he doesn't want to let go.


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning their bags are packed and they're loading the car to drive back to Sacramento. The buyer loved the place and an offer was accepted. Jane signed papers that afternoon leaving everything in the realtors hands and now it's time to say goodbye to the place. Jane closes the trunk and turns to look at his home. Lisbon moves to his side and puts her arm through his.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm good. Angela, Charlotte and I were happy here, but it's been an empty mausoleum for so long. It fuelled my revenge, but that's gone too, there's nothing for me here now."

He turns to face her.

"My future's with you and Sacramento. I couldn't be happier."

He kisses her deeply.

"Thank you Teresa for everything."

She traces her finger lightly down the side of his face.

"When we set off on this trip, I never expected it to end in this way. But I'm grateful that it has. I've discovered I've loved you for a long time without realizing it."

"I think that there was too much going on for us to listen, I had a lot to get through before I was ready to be at this point, and it's because of you that I'm here. I'm ready to say good-bye to this place and look forward to spending the rest of my life with you."

Teresa's eyes widen with shock and Patrick realises what he's just said. He smiles at her.

"That sounded a bit like a marriage proposal. And why not. I love you Teresa, I know it with my whole soul. Nothing's felt so right for a long time. We've known each other for so long, there's nothing we don't know about each other that we will learn in the dating ritual. I've lost ten years of my life chasing Red John, I want to live the rest of it, and I want to do it with you. So yes this is a marriage proposal, Will you marry me Teresa?"

Teresa searches his face.

"Are you sure Patrick? It's all so fast."

"I know, but am I sure, but if you need some time to think about it…"

He smiles as she puts her arms around his neck.

"..I won't hold it against you."

"You won't huh, I think I'll never hear the end of it as you tell our children how their mum and dad got together."

Teresa laughs as she see his stunned expression.

"Children a little too fast even for you."

Patrick quickly recovers himself and shakes his head.

"No, no, children would be perfect. I take it that's a yes then?"

"A definite Yes."

Patrick pulls her in to him and buries his face in her hair, failing to hold back emotions. He whispers in her ear.

"I love you Teresa."

"I love you Patrick."

Their lips find each other and they kiss salty kisses until their need for air overcome their emotions.

Patrick rests his chin on top of Teresa's head and takes a last look at his house.

"C'mon let's get going, I suddenly miss Sacramento."

He holds up the car keys he took out of Teresa's pocket and shakes them.

"My turn to drive I think."

Teresa hits him on the arm.

"Okay but I take over in a couple of hours."

"Four?"

"Three. And that's my final offer."

Patrick beams

"Deal"

Patrick's whistling absent-mindedly as he makes his way along the highway, glancing sideways at the woman he loves sitting beside him. Just the thought causes excitement in his stomach. He's just been existing for all these years, living in a fog of hate, sorrow and grief. Blinding him to the joy already in his life just a recognition away. The irony doesn't pass him by. He, the great Patrick Jane, who sees all, couldn't see what was before him every day. But there's no point in useless recriminations. He sees now and they can have a future and one that will surpass anything he ever imagined for himself. Teresa Lisbon knows him better than probably Angela even knew him, she's seen the depths he's capable of sinking too, when the circumstances justify it. She witnessed his shame and despair and dragged him through. She's been his light, he doubts he would be here without her.

She takes his hand and gives it a squeeze as if she's reading his thoughts.

"There's a rest stop coming up, why don't we stop for a bite to eat and then it's my turn to drive."

Patrick smiles at her.

"And I thought you were holding my hand because you love me."

"I do. I'm making sure you're fed and rested."

There's a fruit stall and picnic tables at the rest stop. Patrick stands in line to buy some strawberries and slices of melon while Teresa takes out the sandwiches and drink they brought with them, she spies a table under the shade of a oak tree and settles there. She watches as Patrick waits in line, there are three people ahead of him. The sun is high in the sky and his hair seems to sparkle in it's glow. His attention's drawn to a little boy standing with the a woman directly ahead of him. The boy's holding the woman's hand crying, Teresa would put his age at around four. The woman's holding a younger child in her arms. She turns as Patrick speaks to her and he points to the boy. She smiles gratefully at him and nods her head. Patrick crouches down to the boy's height while taking something out of his pocket. Teresa smiles as she recognises the beginning of a coin trick. The boy's crying changes to sniffles as Patrick holds out his hand for the boy to guess where the coin is, He just stares at Patrick's right hand but doesn't point. Patrick opens the hand carefully to show it's empty, the boy then looks at his left hand, when that turns out to be empty too, Teresa can see the boys eyes bulge with surprise even from her distance. Patrick then points towards the boys socks, and she guesses, he asks him if he can have a look. A smile spreads across the boys face as Patrick produces a coin from the said socks. He hands the coin to the boy and rubs the top of his head. The boy shows it excitedly to the woman and Patrick receives another grateful smile as he straightens up.

Teresa can't help but notice that the woman's eyes linger that bit longer than they should, something she's witnessed many times. Patrick seems oblivious to it as he turns and looks straight at her, no looking around trying to find her, he knows exactly where she is. He smiles at her and her heart flips, she can't believe she's agreed to marry this man who's caused her so much trouble over the years. Who's exasperated her, irritated her, lied to her and left her. She searches inside herself but there are no doubts, or concerns, through all that, they developed a friendship as she grew to understand him, his methods and the reason behind his actions. She came to understand that he's a good man, that loves deeply and fiercely. That as his partner and friend she can count on his loyalty and protection.

As he lay in the hospital bed struggling from the aftermath of his encounter with Red John, he'd tried to push her away as he felt shame and self-hatred but in the end they'd worked through things together. He opened up, when he left the hospital, to his confusion as to who he was and how he now fit in to the world. She never imagined it would be as her husband, and she feels the luckiest woman in the world.

"Penny for them."

She jumps as he sets down the fruit, his eyes twinkling with satisfaction at catching her.

"I'm not four, my thoughts are worth a lot more than that."

His eyes register a challenge. He picks up a strawberry.

"How about this nectar of heaven."

"Really."

Patrick nods.

"Open your mouth."

Like a child she opens her mouth and instinctively closes her eyes, but it's not a strawberry she tastes but his lips against hers. As they pull away, she smiles against his lips.

"You're a fast learner Patrick Jane."

"Your thoughts?"

"That I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

"Nothing less than you deserve my dear."

They arrive back at Teresa's apartment late afternoon. They climb out of the car, the temperature is beginning to cool off from the scorching high and Patrick stretches his tired muscles. Teresa joins him and looks towards her apartment building. Patrick leans against the car and makes an observation:

"Well it's still standing."

"Yes it is shall we go inside?"

Patrick pushes off from the car and sweeps his arm with a little bow.

"After you."

Teresa already moved her keys from her purse and digs them out of her jeans pocket as she makes her way around the side of the building to her front door. Jane catches up with her and places his arm around her waist. She opens the door and they walk inside. Everything's as they left it, Teresa opens the blinds and light floods the room. She turns and looks at Patrick.

"Home sweet home."

"Did you miss it?"

Teresa looks around.

"I did, just a little, but it's good to be back."

A shadow crosses her face and Patrick moves closer to her."

"What's wrong?"

Lisbon smiles at him.

"Nothing I'm just being silly."

Patrick moves closer and places his hands on her hips.

"C'mon tell me, I promise I won't laugh."

Lisbon looks up to the ceiling and then back at Patrick. She takes a deep breath.

"The thought crossed my mind, I mean, I know you proposed, but what if it was a holiday thing, and now we're back to reality, things will change?"

Patrick moves the hair away from the side of her face with one hand and cups her cheek, then brushes her lips with his thumb.

"It is silly and I'm not laughing. It's real Teresa, I love you, I want to spend my life with you and coming home is not going to change that."

He kisses her gently on the lips and there's a knock on the door. They left the door slightly ajar and it's pushed open to reveal Teresa's next door neighbour. An elderly lady, with twinkling eyes and a wicked sense of humour. She agreed to water Teresa's plants while she was gone, despite her protests that she kills every plant that has the misfortune to cross her path. Teresa is very fond of her.

"Welcome back Teresa, here's your key back, your plants have survived regardless of my care and inattention."

Patrick waves a welcome then heads to the kitchen.

"I'll just put the kettle on."

Once Patrick is out of sight the neighbour raises her eyebrows at Teresa.

"Looks like it was a very successful trip."

Teresa blushes.

"Shhh Millie."

"Don't be shy, if I had a catch like him I'd shout it from the rooftops, I'd be walking the neighbourhood with him on my arm making sure everyone knew he was mine."

Millie jumps when there's voice behind her.

"It'll be a pleasure, I think two or three times around the block will get the knots loose from all the travelling."

Millie winks at Teresa and turns around and offers her arm.

"Just take it gently young man."

Teresa's laughs when Millie winks at her again and leans in and whispers to her.

"Must make sure everyone gets a good look."

Patrick graciously puts her arm through his and the two of them leave Teresa standing in her living room. She hears Millie's wicked laugh and wonders what Patrick's said to her.

Millie starts to speak:

"Mr. Jane..."

"Please call me Patrick, after all we're walking out together."

Millie laughs

"You sound like a Bronte novel."

Patrick gives her one of his best smiles.

"Now you were saying?"

"Patrick, to carry on in the style of a Bronte novel, what are your intentions concerning Teresa?"

"I'm in love with her."

"And she's in love with you, and has been for a long time, she just didn't know it, or buried it because of that other thing."

"The other thing being Red John."

"Yes."

"My, my, my, I didn't realise that Teresa's such a talker."

"She looks after me and we share a coffee when she has the time, but she hasn't said anything directly, but I've been around the block a few times and just hearing your name I knew who you were. I'm glad you got the monster."

"So am I."

"I went to one of your shows once."

Jane stops walking and looks at her.

"You did?"

"Yes I did."

"What did you think?"

"That you were full of something that a Bronte lady doesn't talk about, delivered with a devastating smile."

Jane grins and starts walking once more.

"You're a shrewd woman Millie."

"Yes I am, so what are you're intentions towards Teresa?"

Jane stops and turns to face Millie, He looks her in the eyes.

"She's agreed to marry me and my life's purpose now is to make her the happiest person in the world."

Millie searches his face and then puts her arm through his once more and pats his hand.

"Good. Teresa is dear to my heart and I don't want to see her hurt."

"That makes you my best friend."

They arrive at Millie's door.

"Thank you Patrick, I saw a few curtains twitching."

"Well let's give them something to really talk about."

Patrick kisses her on the cheek.

They pass the evening with a trip to the grocery store, and picking up a take-away. They unpack the suitcases and Teresa puts a load of laundry in while Patrick makes a night-cap. They sit with their drinks and cuddle on the couch, just enjoying being next to one another. Teresa realises the Patrick has fallen asleep, she puts down her empty cup, turns and lays her head against his chest. She suddenly feels uneasy and that's when her dream suddenly makes perfect sense.


	22. Chapter 22

Teresa isn't sleeping well, she laid awake on his chest until he moved her over to turn on his side. She'd going through all sorts of scenarios through her head. The best, that it's her imagination playing up on account of her dream, the worst, that she would never be Mrs Patrick Jane, that life's unfair enough to rob him of the happiness he desperately deserve. She feels him stir and his arm wraps around her. She feels his breath on her neck and his voice is sleepy and concerned.

"You're not sleeping. Everything all right?"

She attempts a smile hoping it translates into her voice.

"Everything's fine. It's been a big day."

He snuggles in closer to her.

"Teresa Lisbon, the hardened cop, being kept awake with wedding plans."

"I've not one of those women who have it all planned out, I've never really thought about it before."

"Okay, tell me what you've come up with so far."

Lisbon's mind's racing trying to think back to weddings she's attended, it hasn't many and it's been a long time. What's she seen that she likes? She has nothing. A thought strikes her and she silently sends up thanks.

"To be honest I haven't got very far, I'm stuck on which brother I should have give me away. How do I ask one without offending the others?"

He kisses her on the back of her neck, she shivers and she feels him smile.

"It seems to me that you have three solutions to the problem."

She turns in his arms so she's facing him, triumphant that he's believed her.

"Which are?"

"You can choose the oldest, hard to argue with that logic. It's seems in this day and age anything goes so you could have all three walk you down the aisle, or have none and make the walk by yourself, like the independent woman you are…..oh there is a fourth option…."

"What's that?"

"Tell me what's really keeping you awake?"

Teresa's hope deflates.

"How did you know?"

Patrick raises up on one elbow and looks at her.

"The Teresa Lisbon I know, wouldn't be kept from her beloved sleep with wedding plans. Her first night back in her own bed, she'd be enjoying the best night's sleep since we left. The Teresa Lisbon I know certainly wouldn't be making wedding plans in the middle of the night. Finally the Teresa Lisbon I know is a terrible liar, it's in your voice every time."

"I lie to you and you don't catch it."

"I let you get away with it, but not tonight and I'm not letting you change the subject either."

Patrick studies her face, she settles her features in to a smile and sets her mind the task of not thinking of anything. Patrick enjoys her attempts, but she's obviously worried about something, it's the only thing that would keep her awake, stating it will break down her guard and the rest will follow.

"You're worried about something."

He stares more intently. Lisbon squirms under his gaze trying to keep her mind clear but she knows she's lost.

"You're really worried about something"

He reaches out and moves her hair, for no other reason than to touch her.

"Tell me."

She gives in with a sigh. Her hopes to give him a good night's sleep dashed.

"I think there's something wrong with your heart."

She sees him reel back a little in shock, he obviously had no idea the reason for her worry."

"My heart? What makes you say that?"

"Well, it may not be your heart, I'm no doctor, but there's something wrong. You're breathing's irregular, Looking back I think it was there last night but tonight it's stronger. You need to call Doctor Polly in the morning."

He smiles reassuringly at her.

"I'm sure everything's fine."

"No, remember my dream, you have to call her."

He studies her face once more, she's clearly very worried, he doesn't want to make her worried.

"Okay, I'll call, but I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, I feel fine."

His words bring her relief.

"First thing?"

"First thing, now get some sleep."

Teresa nods. They cuddle together and soon she's asleep, after a while Patrick moves on to his back and stares at the ceiling, listening closely, trying to hear what Teresa hears, he relaxes when everything seems fine. He'll call Doctor Polly anyway as he wants to talk to her.

Doctor Polly made time to see him that afternoon. Patrick gives his name to the receptionist before sitting down next to Teresa. He scans the magazines on the table and with a small smile that Teresa doesn't see, he plucks one from the bottom.

"The receptionist said that the Doctor is running a little behind and that it could be a half hour wait before she sees me. Here's something to help you pass the time."

Teresa holds out her hand and take the magazine.

"Thanks..."

She looks at the title and slaps him on the arm with it.

"I bet you think you're so funny?"

Patrick shrugs feigning innocence.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about?"

He picks up a copy of the Reader's Digest.

"I haven't read one of these in ages. If you're not interested in your magazine we can do the word definition quiz together?"

"The word definition quiz."

Patrick rolls his eyes.

"Have you never read this iconic magazine. There are words that you've never heard of before and you get a choice of three definitions to guess which is right."

"And you want me to play it with you?"

Patrick nods.

Teresa pretends to think about it.

"I'll pass, this article here in my magazine sounds much more interesting 'What does the choice of groom say about you' I'm expecting to make the category labeled 'What were you thinking, marry the best man instead."

Just then the call goes up.

"Patrick Jane."

 

Patrick stands up at the sound of his name, he looks down at Teresa who's still sitting.

"I would like you to come to."

She gives him a smile letting him know that that's what she was hoping but didn't like to presume, and gets out of the chair. They follow the nurse to an examining room where Patrick's handed a gown with instructions to change, and then they are left alone. Patrick looks at the gown and lets out a sigh along with a grimace.

"I hate these things, I hope I never have to wear one again. Someone surely can come up with something better."

He undresses and after Teresa helps him fasten the back he perches himself on the table, covering himself with a blanket. Teresa feigns disappointment.

"I was enjoying the view."

"My legs can only be taken in small doses, otherwise you're the one who'll be needing a heart specialist."

"Is that right."

"Be warned and be careful."

Lisbon laughs.

"I most certainly will."

They lapse in to a nervous silence waiting for Doctor Polly. The nurse interrupts them and takes Patrick's vitals, writing the results down on a chart and departs saying that the Doctor will be in shortly.

They watch her leave and Patrick turns to Teresa.

"I thought we could have a bite to eat afterwards and then do some shopping."

"I guess we need to get some more groceries in."

Patrick gives a lazy smile

"I was thinking more of jewellery stores."

Teresa's eyes open wide.

"Jewellery stores?"

Patrick loves that he's surprised her.

"Of course. You're an engaged woman now, you need a ring."

The door opens while he's speaking and Doctor Polly enters.

"Who needs a ring?"

Patrick looks to Teresa.

"My fiancé."

Patrick is doubly satisfied when Doctor Polly's eyes open wide and Teresa cheeks take on a pink glow. Doctor Polly looks between the two as she regains her voice.

"You two are engaged?"

Patrick nods with a smile that looks like a cat that found all the cream in the world.

"Congratulations, I'm very happy. I can't say I didn't expect it, but I thought it would take a while."

She steps towards Teresa and shakes her hand and does the same to Patrick. Her face becomes serious as she steps back and studies her patient. Jane squirms under the scrutiny and turns to humour.

"Shame on you doctor, it's impolite to stare openly at a person when their fiancé is in the room."

Without missing a beat Doctor Polly rejoins:

"It's your fault Patrick, no-one should look so good in a hospital gown."

Teresa joins in.

"Would you two like me to wait outside."

Patrick feigns panic.

"Don't you dare leave me alone with this woman."

Doctor Polly laughs and gets back to business.

"Lay down Patrick and why don't you tell me what caused you to come in before your scheduled check up."

"I've been doing good, everything's working better, I still get a little tired but I can do more."

"Well that sounds all positive."

Teresa speaks up.

"There's something wrong doctor, something doesn't sound right."

The doctor looks at Teresa.

"What do you mean? In what way?"

Teresa looks down trying to find the words, but gives up.

"I don't know how to explain it but something sounds different, it changed a couple to days ago, something in his chest."

The doctor looks thoughtful and she turns to Patrick.

"Okay lets check you out."

She gives a thorough check up. She gives his arms a workout, checking out what motion has returned, they ache after she's done. She looks at his wounds and then listens to his chest."

"You are certainly gaining good movement in your arms, and everything's healing nicely. I don't detect anything out of the ordinary but I'm not one to dismiss the concern of loved ones, after all they usually know my patients the best and I know you're not one for histrionics, so I'm ordering some tests. Just lay here and someone will be by in a few minutes to do that."

She smiles reassuringly.

"Everything sounded good, so there's probably nothing to worry about."

Patrick smiles at Teresa as Doctor Polly leaves.

"See, everything's fine."

Teresa gives a half-smile.

"Now back to jewellery stores."

Teresa's smile is wider.

"Sounds like a great idea. I must warn you, I have no idea what kind of ring I like, I've never given it much thought."

"That's my Teresa, too busy crime fighting to indulge in fantasizing."

"Something like that...It just might take a while."

"You're not under any pressure to choose on today, I expect it to take a while, that's why I want to get started."

Patrick scowls as the door opens and a porter with a wheelchair enters the room.

"I hope that's not for me."

The Porter smiles with a slight weariness that makes it obvious that objections aren't new to him."

"Sorry sir, I can see you have two working feet of your own but it's hospital protocol when going for heart tests. Can never be sure which patients might drop dead on the walk to x-ray."

Patrick smiles.

"Charming, I like your style. witty and succinct."

"Thank you sir, now if you would just get in we can be on our way."

An hour later Patrick and Teresa are back in the examining room, fifteen minutes later Doctor Polly enters. The smile she gives them, Patrick can see doesn't reach her eyes, he braces himself for the news.

"The preliminary findings are inconclusive, there's a hint of something there. I'm admitting you Patrick for further tests. I want you hooked up to a cardiogram for a few hours, to see if the hint show it's self again and there are some other tests I want to run."

"Can't that be done today, rather than stay overnight."

"I'd prefer to have you admitted, if everything's fine then maybe I can send you home this evening but I think I will need a twenty-four hour read out."

"What are we looking at here Doctor?"

"As you know the torture you experienced weakened your heart. There's a hint that it maybe deteriorating and the quicker we catch it and deal with it, the less severe the remedy is."

"And that could be?"

"It can range from just more rest, to medication, to transplant."


	23. Chapter 23

Doctor Polly looks at her patient and his fiancé as they digest the news. Teresa speaks first.

"A transplant? Are you talking about a heart transplant?"

Jane smiles reassuringly.

"I'm sure it won't come to that."

He looks to Doctor Polly.

"That's just the worst case scenario, isn't it Doctor?"

"Yes but considering that the medicines you've been taking haven't worked, the odds are higher than they were when I last saw you."

Teresa looks to Jane.

"The doctor talked to you before about the possibility?"

Jane shrugs.

"I seem to remember she said something about it, but she'd already said so much, and I was getting bored, so I wasn't listening by then."

Teresa looks at him dumbfounded.

"Jane.."

"Oh oh doctor, that means I'm in trouble. Teresa, I wasn't holding out on you, I promise, I truly didn't really listen. It's only now that I remember."

"And I'm suppose to believe that?"

Patrick looks at her with a mixture of love and pleading in his eyes.

"Yes because I love you and I'll never lie to you about something this serious. Now this isn't really the most important thing here at the moment"

"No I guess not, I'm sorry."

Teresa reaches out and touches his arm. Jane pats it in return.

"I know you're worried."

They both look towards Doctor Polly who's waited patiently.

"We're going to admit you and run the tests. I will try to get them all done today, but you may need to stay overnight. I've called in Doctor Bennion, who's our best heart specialist, and he will consult with me. He's in surgery at the moment, which is why he's not here to introduce himself. Any questions?"

Patrick shakes his head.

"Not that I can think of at the moment, let's see what the results are. I had better plans for today."

The doctor smiles.

"I'm sure you did. Let's get you started, and maybe you can pick up those plans tomorrow, the stores will be open then too."

After the doctor leaves, Jane swings his legs around and sits at the side of the examining table. He blows out his cheeks. Teresa comes and sits next to him, and takes his hand. He shakes his head.

"I wasn't expecting that."

"Hey there's a lot of degrees of damage before it gets to the big one. And you've been doing so well, which would suggest that things are not that bad."

Patrick turns his head and looks at her, gratitude in his eyes.

"That's true, thank you. It'll probably just be more pills and I'll rattle down the aisle."

Lisbon splutters out a laugh.

"At least I'll always know where you are."

Patrick rolls his eyes in horror.

"Now you have me hoping for the transplant."

Teresa's face becomes serious.

"Don't you ever say that, not even as a joke."

Patrick brushes away her hair around her face.

"I'm sorry. Don't be upset, I'm sure the entire hospital is willing for it to be more medicine, I'm sure they don't want me as a patient again."

Teresa jumps down and turns to face him, she wraps her arm around him and they hug. The feel of his arms around her feels so comforting, she buries herself more into him and he hugs her with greater intensity. Neither one wants to let go. The door opening tears them apart. Patrick doesn't miss noticing Teresa quickly wiping at her eyes. He gives her hand a squeeze.

The interruption is the nurse with clipboard in hand and a box.

"I need some of your blood, Mr Jane."

"Lovely."

After she's filled up the vials and labelled them, she makes notes on the clipboard before speaking to Patrick.

"I'm going to send these to the lab and then I'll be back with a wheelchair to take you up to the ward."

Patrick scowls.

"I don't need a wheelchair, I can walk."

The nurse looks patiently at him.

"First of all Mr. Jane.."

"Please call me Patrick."

"Okay. First of all Patrick, it's not our policy to let patients admitted with heart problems to walk, it's a long way to the ward from here, and second, do you really want to be walking around in that?"

"I can get dressed."

"Now what would be the point. Just sit tight and I'll be back in a jiffy."

The nurse turns and leaves before Patrick can say another word. Lisbon's smirking as Patrick looks over to her full of indignation.

"You think that was funny?"

"No, I'm just picturing you walking around the hospital trying to keep your gown closed."

Patrick has a look of mock offense.

"Well I'm glad I'm amusing you."

The door opens once more and a wheelchair enters and then the nurse. After they're up in the ward Patrick suggests to Teresa that she pops home and picks up some things for him. Teresa does that, when she comes back the bed's empty as Patrick's having a test. She sits by the side of his bed and awaits his return. In a little while she goes to the machine and gets herself a coffee, on the way back she stops by the nurses station.

"Patrick seems to be gone a long time, do you expect him back soon?"

The nurse looks on the computer screen and then up at Teresa.

"I'm not sure what's delaying him, I'll find out and let you know."

Teresa nods and goes back to wait. She's flicking through a magazine when the nurse appears. The look on her face makes Teresa jump up forgetting the magazine and letting it fall to the floor.

"What's happened?"

"There was a problem with Patrick's tests and he's been taken to intensive care."

"What!"

Teresa starts grabbing his things.

"Where is it?"

"I'll take you there."

Theresa's mind's not computing as she follows the nurse to intensive care, it's numb with shock. She tries getting more information but the nurse doesn't have any. Her world was perfect twenty-four hours ago, but it was an illusion. She stares straight ahead as the elevator climbs.

After, what seems forever, the elevator stops and the doors open. She follows the nurse as she enters ICU. They stop at the nurse's station and Teresa looks around, searching the rooms, there's one where there's a lot of activity, she can't see the patient but Patrick isn't in any of the others. As she walks towards it the doors to the ICU open and Doctor Polly enters.

"Teresa."

Teresa stops and turns towards her.

"What's happened?"

"It's all right, he hasn't had a heart attack, but he had pain and his rhythms went high wire so I've moved him in here because he needs constant monitoring."

"It's not good is it?"

"No, I'm sorry it isn't. but Doctor Bennion thinks it's a valve that's at fault and that's a lot easier to replace. When Patrick's settled I'll speak to you both. I need to go see him now."

Teresa watches her enter Patrick's room.

Everyone leaves Patrick's side including the Doctor. She walks towards Teresa who's been impatiently waiting.

"I'll give you and Patrick a few minutes alone before coming to talk."

Teresa nods gratefully. She rushes to Patrick's bed. He's sitting propped up against the pillows. He's wearing a nasal cannula, he looks tired but he gives her a heart melting smile as she catches his eye. She moves to his side, takes his hands and gives him a kiss. They part and Patrick whispers:

"Just what the doctor ordered. Again."

He reaches up and cups her face in his hand and draws her near, they kiss again.

As Teresa pulls away she studies him more closely.

"Are you all right?"

"I feel fine. I had some pain but it's gone now. I was also a little out of breath but this oxygen thing's helping.

Teresa can see that Patrick's trying to be upbeat.

"Did the doctor say anything to you?"

"Just checked I was okay and said she would let you see me and will be back in a few minutes."

He smiles deliciously at her and squeezes her hand.

"It sounded like a good plan to me."

Teresa remembers the things she's brought and holds up the bag.

"I got your things."

"It seems I'm going to need them."

Teresa strokes his arm.

"Doctor Polly said it wasn't a heart attack…"

She see Patrick relax a little in his features.

"That's good to hear, I was a little scared."

"I shouldn't have gone home, I should have been with you."

"I was the one who told you to go. I had no idea this was going to happen."

"I know."

She smiles at him reassuringly Doctor Polly comes in the room. Patrick smiles at her wickedly.

"I would advise you, in the future, to knock Doctor, who knows what you may be interrupting."

"Since a few kisses are all you can manage at the moment, and as a grown women, I'll take my chances."

She looks to Teresa and then back to Patrick letting them know that she's including them both in the conversation.

"I've been on the phone with Doctor Bennion, catching him up with the latest developments. We need to do one more test, which we can perform here, to confirm Doctor Bennion's suspicions. We strongly suspect that it's a heart valve problem. We suspect you will need a replacement. It has a significant risk margin but it's better than not having it done. The surgeon will put in a plastic valve, there's no waiting for a human donor. Although it's not good news, it's a lot better than a heart transplant.

Teresa quickly looks at Patrick to see how he's taking the news. He looks dazed, which is about how she feels. Life can change so quickly and although she should be used to that by now, Patrick too, it still takes a while for the human mind to catch up. She squeezes his hand, he looks at her and with a grateful smile, returns the squeeze.

"I know it's a lot to take in and so I'll come back after the final test with confirmation of the diagnosis and I'm sure by then you'll have lots of question.

Patrick speaks up:

"Confirm the diagnosis, so you're not in any doubt?"

"We're eighty percent sure Patrick."

Teresa's the next with a question.

"You said there was a significant risk. How significant?"

Doctor Polly looks between the two of them before answering which fill them with foreboding.

"About one in fifty die either from the surgery or complications following."

That news send a jolt through them. Patrick's hold of Teresa tightens. He finds his voice:

"That seems high."

"It's a serious operation, anything around the heart is tricky, but your chances of survival without the operation are nil."

"Does my history increase those risks?"

"It could. But from my examination, you're recovery's gone well and the mind plays a big part and I know how strong yours is and now you have something special to live for. I'm going to leave you now, you need time together and I'll be back after the results of the final test."

"Thanks doc."

"I really wish the news was better, but chances are you'll be up and out of the bed in a month and able to get on with your life."

Patrick gives her a small smile.

"I certainly hope so."

"Doctor Bennion is a world-class surgeon. The surgery's preliminary scheduled for ten tomorrow morning."

With that the doctor leaves. Patrick and Teresa look at each other. Jane arches his eyebrows and smiles at her.

"Wow"

"Yes wow.

Patrick scoots a little to the side and pats the bed.

"Come up, I want to hold you."

Teresa climbs on to the bed, turning on to her side facing him. He wraps his arms around her, as she reciprocates he pulls her closer. He plants a kiss on the top of her head and strokes her hair.

"You smell wonderful."

Teresa responds by squeezing him.

"It's going to be fine. I'm not going to die. Angela wouldn't come back to warn you, just for me to die."

Teresa lifts her head and talks in to his neck.

"You don't believe in such things."

"Well, I just might this one, and you do, don't you?"

"Maybe I subconsciously knew there was something wrong and it was my way of making the conscious part of me aware."

"You're beginning to sound like me."

The tears, that Teresa's been battling, spring to her eyes.

"I don't want to lose you."

Patrick tightens his hold and speaks fiercely.

"You're not going to lose me, I'm not planning on going anywhere but to the operating theatre and then to our wedding. I haven't won so many battles just to lose the war."

He pulls away a little and lifts up her face with a finger under her chin. He kisses her tears.

"I need you in my corner believing it too, so you can push me through the hard times. We're going to stand across from each other one day and declare our love and make solemn vows to bind us together. Tell me you believe that Teresa."

She blinks away the tears and smiles at him.

"I do."


	24. Chapter 24

After the test's performed Patrick falls asleep. Teresa sits in the chair beside him trying to concentrate on the magazine, to shut out thoughts she doesn't want to dwell on, but she can't escape the knot of panic in her stomach. An hour later Doctor Polly returns with another doctor in tow, who, Teresa suspects is the elusive Doctor. Bennion. She stands and moves to Patrick's side, she lays her hand on his arm to wake him, only to find his eyes open. He smiles and winks at her before pulling himself to a sitting position.

"I take it that the test confirmed your diagnosis."

Doctor Polly answers.

"Yes. So surgery's booked for 10am. This is Doctor Bennion, who will perform the operation and as I said, he's one of the best in the country. I wouldn't place my favourite patient in the hands of anyone else."

Patrick looks to Teresa with a cheeky smile.

"I told you I was her favourite. I win everyone over eventually."

"I think I can rattle off a list of who you haven't won over, without even thinking about it, that would spoil that little theory."

Patrick looks to Doctor Polly in mock horror.

"See what I'm letting myself in for."

"I heartily approve of your choice Patrick, it's just what you need, a woman who isn't dazzled by your smile."

He pretends to think about it for a moment.

"True, but on my sick bed, I think I deserve nice."

Doctor Bennion interrupts curtly:

"I have carried out many of these surgeries so you can be assured of excellent work. You will be put on a bypass machine while the replacement's attached. The surgery takes two to three hours but you can expect that it'll be ten to twelve hours before you regain consciousness in ICU. You will be released from hospital after around seven days and you should be back to normal in about eight weeks."

He looks at his watch.

"I have to go but any questions Doctor Polly will help you with. I will see you tomorrow."

He turns and leaves.

Patrick and Teresa are stunned in to silence. Doctor Polly looks a little embarrassed and apologies.

"I'm sorry, I know his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired but he really is the best. You know what bypass means?"

They nod their heads.

"I know bypass sound scary but it's quite safe. Other things you should know, is that you'll be on a ventilator for the first twenty-four hours after surgery, so try not to panic when you wake up and feel it down your throat. You can expect to be in ICU for a couple of days, then moved to a high dependency ward and finally to a surgical ward, should everything go smoothly. You can expect to have pain but don't suffer in silence."

She smiles at them.

"Any questions?"

Teresa and Patrick look at one another and then at the doctor, Patrick shakes his head. Teresa speaks up.

"I do have something I would like to talk to you about outside, doctor if you don't mind."

"Of course."

Patrick looks at her puzzled and opens his mouth to say something when Teresa starts to follow the doctor outside. She calls over her shoulder.

"Just trust me, you'll find out soon enough."

Teresa returns after a few minutes and instantly puts her finger to her lips before Patrick has time to open his mouth

"Shhh, no point asking, as I'm not telling."

The spark of a challenge flickers in his eyes.

"Oh really? Come here let me look at you."

"No."

Teresa sits down picking up the magazine and holds it in front of her face.

"Well, your question didn't have something to do with the surgery because you're too happy for that. Happy is too strong of a word, after all I am about to have a life threatening surgery but….you definitely look like the cat that got the cream….so my guess is…"

"Jane hush!"

Teresa looks at him over the magazine and he smiles devilishly at her. She can't stop the smile on her face.

"Sometimes Patrick you're so full of bull."

It's Patrick's turn to put his finger up to his lips.

"Shhh just don't tell anyone. Now put the magazine down, I'm missing you."

He moves over and pats the space next to him. She climbs on and he puts his arms around her as she snuggles in to his body. They lay like that for a while just enjoying being with each other, until there's a knock on the door. Teresa's startled and almost falls off the bed in her haste to get down.

"Steady woman, I don't think there's a fire, since whoever it is, knocked. Come in."

The door opens to a bouquet of balloons and as they move further in they reveal Grace Van Pelt, followed by Wayne Rigsby and Kimball Cho. Patrick throws a knowing look towards Teresa and smiles widely at them, the realisation hitting him that he'd missed them. He smiles broadly.

"Come on in guys, it's great to see you. Although we must stop meeting like this. Grace you look lovely and thank you for the balloons."

Van Pelt finds a place to put the balloons down and turns her attention to Patrick, concern on her face.

"How are you feeling?"

"Me I'm fine, just a pesky thing to get out the way and then I'll be hunky dory. I'm sure Teresa's filled you in on the details so let's forget about that…"

As he sees the reaction of the team to using her first name he breaks out in a grin.

"..I guess she hasn't filled you in with all the details."

Teresa standing beside him, a slight blush in her cheeks. He takes her hand.

"While we were away, I finally came to my senses and realised that I was in love with this woman and she rather foolishly but miraculously accepted my proposal."

There is a stunned silence. Van Pelt is the first to break it, her face showing her delight.

"That's great news, she hugs Teresa and then Patrick, whispering in his ear.

"About time Jane."

He whispers in return.

"I know but matters needed to be dealt with first before I could see clearly."

She nods against his cheek.

"You better get well."

"I intend to."

"Good."

As she pulls back her eyes are glistening with tears and Rigsby hands her a handkerchief he has out ready. Then he and Cho take their turn hugging their boss, passing on their congratulations and shaking Patrick's hand.

Teresa looks at her team.

"Thank you guys. It's great to see you, it's been so long."

Cho answers.

"Yes, when are you coming back to work? I've had enough of keeping Rigsby in line, I didn't realise what a moaner he is."

Rigsby's head whips round.

"Hey."

Cho smiles.

"The doctor says it'll be two…"

Patrick cuts her off.

"She should be back in a couple of weeks, maybe three, a month tops."

He stops her objections.

"I know the doctor said eight weeks but I won't be an invalid all that time. You need to get back to work, being home all day with a patient no matter how good looking he is, will drive you crazy. Besides despite Agent Cho's capable hands the place must be missing you."

"We'll see how it goes."

The team stay for about an hour, Teresa can see Patrick getting tired and motions for them to leave. Patrick protests.

"No need to leave on my account."

Van Pelt gives him another hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Good luck tomorrow, we'll be thinking about you."

Rigsby offers his encouragement.

"We'll be rooting for you man."

Cho nods his head. Teresa walks them out as Patrick waves.

"Thanks for coming guys."

Grace answers.

"It was our pleasure, we've missed you both and congratulations, it really is wonderful news."

"Thanks."

"We're coming tomorrow.."

Teresa starts to protest.

"It's already decided, we don't want you waiting alone."

"Thanks again guys."

They all give her a hug and as they leave she goes back to Patrick. He smiles at her.

"Thanks for setting that up, it was great to see them."

"It was."

"I missed them."

Teresa looks at him in surprise.

"I was thinking that when this is all over that I will come back to work, they've had it far too easy,"

Patrick's insisting that Teresa goes home to sleep. He says she needs to be well rested so she can look after him afterwards. Teresa argues that she wouldn't be able to sleep because of worrying about the operation. He threatens to have her thrown out and she promises to go home and sleep if he comes through the surgery well but she isn't going to leave him tonight. He moves over and she climbs in to bed with him. She rests her head on his shoulder and he wraps his arm around her, they clasp hands across his chest. He murmurs in to her hair.

"A much better idea."

They lay silently for a few minutes, each one stamping the sensations of being close to one another on their memories. Teresa remembers the evening in Yosemite when he stood before her stripped to his boxer shorts, showing her his scars, she remembers tracing one of the scars on his chest with her finger, the one closest to his heart. Red John had cut him open and then cauterised it closed and others, while Patrick was conscious! She can only imagine the pain…He'd stood before her ashamed of those scars and the others from Red John's assault on his body and his sanity She'd done her best to convince him otherwise, told him he should be proud. She wants the chance to trace that scar again, to kiss it and to kiss every single one of them, to show him that she loves him, every part of him.

"Patrick."

"Yes?"

"Promise you won't interrupt."

"That sounds ominous."

Teresa can hear the concern in his voice. She squeezes his hand to reassure him.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"I love you Patrick. I don't think there's anything I don't love, even your irritating qualities, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't work on bringing them down. I love your intelligence that lights you from within. I love the gleam you get when you've solved the mystery and have a plan, it fills me with excitement and dread. You love more fiercely than anyone I ever met. You showed that with your family. You're not perfect and you will make mistakes, as will I, we will argue, fall out, and maybe even hurt each other, but I know that you will still love me. I know I can trust in that love. I know that you are strong. I know that I can place my troubles and concerns with you and you can help me carry them. I trust in your loyalty, I know that devastating smile will only be for me, that your incredible kisses will only be for me, that your delicate and sensitive touch will only be for me.

Her voice chokes with emotion.

"If tonight is all we have left, I want you to know that."

She feels his lips against her hair.

"Shhhh. Teresa, I never expected to love again, I never expected to live beyond Red John, in fact I hoped that I wouldn't because once he was gone my life would be empty. You changed all that. You offered me a friendship that was unconditional. You supported me when you shouldn't have, you lied for me when you shouldn't have, you risked your job, you even took me back. I didn't deserve any of that but you gave it and you did it all hoping that you would save me from myself. And you did. You pulled me from the brink of insanity, you were the reason I could see a life after Red John, I was blinkered and it took a long time for me to see clearly, to see how much I love you and how much I want you in my life. Look at me Teresa."

She leans back and turns her head and looks in to his eyes.

"We are not just going to have tonight. We will have tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. We're going to grow old together, hopefully there will be children, and grandchildren. I will be fighting with every fibre of my being to give us that."

Teresa inches herself up the bed and Patrick leans in to meet her and they kiss. When they pull away he rests his forehead on hers.

"I know this will be more difficult for you, I get to sleep through it all. I know that I can't stop you from worrying, but hold on to those words. Believe in them."

She nods her head. His voice is barely a whisper:

"Promise me."

She smiles at hearing the echo of her own words.

"I promise."

There's a knock on the door and then it opens and Doctor Polly walks in, Teresa sits up on the bed.

"I just wanted to see how you were, if you had any questions."

They both shake their heads and Patrick speaks:

"Thanks doc. We've had the required visitors that have explained the procedure in rather more detail than I would've liked and answered all their questions."

"Good. Now you need to get to sleep."

She pulls out a needle and a bottle of medicine from her pocket.

"I ordered some extra medication to help you sleep, I know it's an anxious time for you both."

"Can I refuse?"

"Why."

A twinkle appears in his eyes.

"I was enjoying myself."

"You'll have plenty of time for that when you're well. Now you need to be rested."

Patrick looks at Teresa and winks.

"See I told you."

Teresa can't decide whether to hit him or kill him. Doctor Polly helps her along.

"Go ahead hit him, he deserves it."

"Hey I'm a seriously ill patient."

Doctor Polly has moved to his IV and is drawing the medicine into the needle.

"Yes exactly, and you need your rest."

She adds the medicine to the bag hanging from his stand and smiles triumphantly at him.

"Now sleep well and I will see you early in the morning."

She turns to Teresa.

"Good night. And don't worry, he's in good hands."

"I can see that."

Doctor Polly closes the door behind them and Teresa's settles down on his shoulder once more and within a minute his grip around her loosens and his breathing deepens. It takes another hour before Teresa finally falls asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

Patrick's been given his pre-op meds and is struggling to keep his eyes open. They feel very heavy. Teresa can see him fighting against it. She squeezes his arm.

"It's all right, just let your eyes close, I'll still be here. "

Jane looks at her and gives her a lazy smile and relinquishes the fight. Teresa takes hold of his hand and he slightly tightens his fingers around hers. A porter and a nurse enter the room.

" Time to go Patrick. Give your wife a kiss and let's get you sorted. '

Teresa stands and let's go of his hand and strokes his face. His eyes lids flutter open and Teresa kisses him.

"See you in a few hours. Don' t give them a hard time. "

He smiles fleetingly and closes his eyes once more. The nurse places his chart on top of the bed and with the porter's help she pushes the bed and Patrick out of the room. Teresa follows along side holding Patrick's hand until she has to stop. She gives it one final squeeze, with no response, and she watches him disappear through the double doors. The nurse calls to her.

"We'll take good care of him. "

Teresa wipes a tear from her eye and turns towards the waiting room. As she sits down on the uncomfortable chairs Cho turns the corner with two drinks in his hand. She smiles at him and takes the offered one gratefully.

"Thanks Kimball, shouldn't you be at work?"

"We arranged a late start. It was decided we wouldn't be much use anyway with our minds at the hospital."

"We?"

"Rigsby and VanPelt are here, Rigsby's hungry, apparently he missed breakfast. I left them looking for the cafeteria."

"Thank you for coming."

They sit in silence for a few minutes, Teresa has her cup in one hand and her other arm around her waist, hugging herself. She's trying not to imagine Patrick on the operating table being cut open and his heart stopped. Her fear is if it will start again. She wraps her arm tighter around herself. Cho notices the action and gently lays his hand on her arm and gives it a squeeze.

"Last night I could see a change in Jane, he looked happy. He loves you and wants a life with you and it's been my experience that Jane usually gets what he wants, so if he has any say in it at all, he'll come back to you."

She nods and gives him a quick smile. Just then Rigsby and Van Pelt arrive."

"Hi boss."

"Hi guys, thanks for coming."

VanPelt moves to her and gives her hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm sure he'll be okay."

"Thanks Grace."

She pulls away.

"Why don't you tell us about your trip? It seems to have gone very well."

Van Pelt is grinning at her and she understands what she's trying to do, at first her reaction's to resist but she remembers Jane's instructions not to worry but to believe in them as a couple and she knows that this is just what she needs.

"I'm sorry I left you guys in the lurch like that, I know it was sudden but.."

Grace interrupts her.

"It's okay, we understand. Cho's done a good job standing in. We missed you of course and we're looking forward to you both coming back."

Grace looks quickly to Cho and Rigsby. Cho reacts first.

"It was the right decision boss, but I'm happy to relinquish the reins when you return."

"I can't believe that Cho, you're a natural leader, I'm going to recommend you for your own team."

Cho's taken aback.

"I don't know about that boss, I like where I am."

"I know and I would hate to lose you, but it's time to move on, get your own team."

Everyone's silent at the thought of the team breaking up. VanPelt breaks the tension as they're suppose to be helping.

"You were about to tell us about your trip. Where did you go?"

"Our first stop was Half Moon Bay, we drove through it once on our way to a crime scene. Jane had noticed something catch my attention and insisted that it was a good place to start. And it was, it was perfect. Jane managed to sign us up as dog show judges."

This surprises them all.

"What? How?"

She smiles at their reaction and the memories of that time. It seems so long ago, but images are seared in her memory, never to be forgotten. Not just at Half Moon Bay but throughout the trip. Little could she have guessed how it would turn out, that it would be life changing for the two of them.

"The how's a long story, I wasn't happy but it turned out being a lot of fun and we broke up a dog-napping ring in the process."

Cho remarks with his deadpan delivery.

"Trust Jane not to stay out of trouble."

"Actually he was very responsible and stayed back, calling in the local police for assistance."

"He was able to talk them in to helping?"

Lisbon smiles at Rigsby.

"Apparently Jane's a hero across the state in law enforcement for bringing Red John down."

"Can't argue with that, but it must have made him murder to live with."

"Actually Cho, he never mentioned it again."

Rigsby jokes:

"Wow he was in trouble."

Lisbon's eyes cloud over while Rigsby receives daggers from Cho and VanPelt.

"Yes he was.."

She straightens a little in her chair.

"But he's much better now and he just has to get through this."

She stands up.

"I'm going to stretch my legs and get some more coffee, anyone else wants one?"

Cho and VanPelt shake their heads, Rigsby can't bring himself to look at her. She lays her hand on his arm as she passes by.

"It's all right Rigsby, I'm glad you're here and it good to remember how far he's come...it gives me hope."

He looks at her and nods his head.

"Thanks boss."

She gives his arm a squeeze and heads for the coffee machine.

After three hours Teresa began pacing and she hasn't sat down for more than a few seconds since. Conversation dried up around that time as the tension silenced everyone. Teresa's mind is in a stupor as her feet and hands won't stop moving. The hands on the clock are almost registering four hours when the door opens revealing Doctor Polly, looking exhausted. Teresa's can barely look her in the eyes. Doctor Polly touches her arm and leads her to a chair, they sit down. The others stand behind.

"He's alive Teresa. It was touch and go, we hit a problem when we tried to restart his heart after taking him off bypass, his heart was stubborn but we finally got it going. The actually procedure was a success and I'm very hopeful for him, for you both.

"There was a problem?"

"Yes but it's fine now, his hearts beating as it should."

"He's going to be fine?"

Teresa knows she's sounding like an idiot but she's having trouble putting everything together that the doctor's told her, it feels like she's listening through a fog.

Doctor Polly lays her hand on top of Teresa's and gives it a squeeze.

"Yes, I'm very hopeful. As you know we can't guarantee but, the signs are good."

"When can I see him?"

"He's still in recovery, but, he'll be taken up to ICU in half an hour, a nurse will come get you when they do and you can sit with him for a few minutes. Remember it'll be ten to twelve hours before he wakes up."

"Okay."

The news finally sinks in and Teresa can feel relief bubbling up inside of her and she can't stop a choked laugh from escaping.

"Thank you Doctor Polly."

She smiles and gives Teresa's hand another squeeze and stands up.

"You're welcome. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I look forward to when he can cause trouble again."

When she leaves the team crowd around Teresa and each giving her a hug and love and thoughts to Jane.

Teresa's sitting by his bedside, watching him sleep, for the umpteenth time that evening, Visiting hours ended hours ago, but Doctor Polly gave permission that she could continue coming for a few minutes every hour until he woke up, but only once she agreed that she would go home and sleep afterwards. Patrick would still be very sleepy until at least the following mid-day.

She's amazed by how quickly she's become used to seeing him with the incubation tube down his throat and the machines around him. A shock had ran through her body leaving her chilled when she'd seen him for the first time. He looked weak, vulnerable and ill. His face pale, his body hidden among the machines, and so still. She'd taken his hand, it was cold and dry, so different from the warmth she's use to. She'd leaned over and brushed his curls aside and kissed him on the forehead and prayed.

She looks at the clock and her time's almost up. She stands and takes a hold of his hand, she literally jumps when his fingers move against her skin. She looks at him, his eyes are still closed, she squeezes his hand and says his name:

"Patrick."

His eyes are still not open but he moves his head slightly from side to side, a frown on his face. She moves closer to him and letting go of his hand she lightly strokes his face.

"Patrick, it's Teresa, you're in the hospital, you had an operation on your heart, remember, you have a tube down your throat."

She keeps her voice low and calm, she feels perspiration under her fingers, she's not able to put in to words how she knows, but, she can tell the instant she's getting through to him. He stills and turns his head slightly towards her. She squeezes his hand. Her heart leaps when she sees his eyelashes flutter, slightly. She moves so that she's just inches away from his face, she continues to stroke his forehead and speaks words of encouragement.

"Everything's well Patrick, you're doing really good. Just open your eyes for me, I've watched you sleep for long enough."

His eyes open for a moment, exhausted eyes that close immediately, but they put a huge smile on Teresa's face.

"Hi Patrick."

He struggles again and this time his able to hold her gaze for a couple of seconds, she can read the love contained within and tears prick her eyes.

"I love you too,"

She kisses his forehead.

He tries again but only succeeds in opening them halfway before they close once more, and he's back to sleep. She runs her fingers through his hair and gently kisses him once more.

"Good night Patrick."

She straightens up and gives his hand one last squeeze, as she turns, she discovers that she's not alone, his nurse is standing at the end of the bed.

"Sorry if I startled you, just checking up on him. He's doing really well, and it's great that he's woken up. He's been through a lot and will sleep for most of the night and don't really expect him fully awake for another ten hours, when he does we'll remove the tube. So get some rest, if anything changes we will ring you, so sleep peacefully knowing that no news is good news."

"Thank you Steph."

"You're welcome."

Teresa bends down and retrieves her bag and gives Patrick once last look before leaving.

She's not sure how she made it home, she's no memory of the drive, which is a little scary. The apartment feels so empty when she enters. They haven't been given the chance to settle in as a couple, they're suitcases aren't unpacked, but the she's use to him being there, with her. He's not a big man but he fill the space, with his wit, his energy, his intelligence, his beauty. She sits on the couch and pulls up her knees and wraps her arms around them, resting her chin on top. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. He's going to be okay. She removes her phone from her jeans pocket and sends texts to the team to let them know that he opened his eyes. Suddenly, the reality of how exhausted she is hits her like a brick wall, and she swings her legs around, sinking into the couch she's soon asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

True to the medical staff's word, Jane's awake just before noon , and able to keep his eyes open for more than a couple of minutes. He insists on the removal of the incubation tube as the first order of business. Teresa stands by with some ice chips and once it's out she places one on his tongue. Patrick closes his eyes savouring the coolness and the moisture. Teresa takes his hand and he opens his eyes and smiles, it's weak and tired but Teresa's certain she's never seen one more beautiful. She returns his smile.

"The surgery was a success, everything's working well.."

He squeezes her hand and tries to speak, she places a finger on his lips.

"Shh., you're not to talk yet. He rolls his eyes theatrically and Teresa grins.

"It's only for a couple of hours. Would you like another ice chip? "

He nods his head and falls asleep while sucking on it.

The next morning Patrick recognises he's feeling a little better. He wakes up without the cloud of exhaustion dragging him down. He's aware of sounds beyond his room and that Teresa isn't there. The door opens and he's disappointed when Doctor Polly walks in, looking like she hasn't been to bed since he saw her when she took the tube out, at least he believes she was there.

"I'm obviously not the person you were hoping for, but I think I may change your mind."

Patrick looks chagrined.

"Sorry Doc"

"Teresa will be here in a couple of hours no doubt, it's only five a.m."

Patrick relaxes, that explains it.

Doctor Polly's finishes reading his chart.

"Just want to check your pulse."

She takes his wrist, holds it for a moment and then lays it back down.

"I just want to take a look at the wound."

Patrick pulls down the covers, he's not wearing a gown for easier access. Doctor Polly inspects it and straightens up.

"That looks good. You're recovery is going excellently, The replacement is working perfectly, there's no infection, and your outputs are all normal. How are you feeling?"

"Sore and tired and better than yesterday."

"Well I don't think you need to add to the nurses work load any more so we'll move you out of ICU this morning and to the High Dependency ward and if your recovery continues, you should be on a regular ward in a couple of days."

Patrick smiles.

"Thanks doc...for everything."

"You're welcome. Just keep up the good work."

Teresa's surprised when she answers the phone and it's Patrick's voice on the line. She's pleased to note some strength to his voice, she's also immediately suspicious.

"Hi, are you suppose to be calling?"

"Of course, you think I snuck out of bed and pinched a phone while the nurses weren't looking. Your confidence in my abilities, even in a weakened state, are duly noted and appreciated."

Teresa rolls her eyes, but has to stop herself from laughing out loud and encouraging him.

"Okay it was a stupid question. You're feeling better today."

"Sore and tired but human. I'm being moved to the High Dependency ward in an hour, can you bring me some things?"

Teresa stops at the nurses station.

"I'm here for Patrick Jane, I was told he was being moved to here this morning."

"They're just settling him in, he's in room 17."

Teresa thanks the nurse. The door to his room is open and there's a bustle of people around the bed, She hears Patrick's voice.

"That's perfect, I can see the park from here, nice to have a little green against all the concrete."

A man moves, unblocking her view of Patrick. He sees her immediately and smiles.

"Come in, meet my new slaves, I mean the real workers in the hospital."

He flashes a charming smile, one of the nurses look at him sternly.

"I hope you're not going to be trouble Patrick, I don't like trouble makers, they get the weakest cups of tea."

Teresa smiles at Patrick's look of dismay

"Someone's done her homework."

"I like to know how to please my patients."

Patrick grumbles.

"You mean how to keep them under your control."

"Your reputation precedes you Patrick, I like being forearmed, it makes for a much nicer stay for the both of us. Now would you like a cup?"

Patrick's eyes widen in surprise and pleasure. Everyone laughs at his delight.

"I take that as a yes. I'm afraid it will be weak, doctor's orders, but I'll do my best."

Finally they're alone, She leans over and gives him a kiss, and then, helps him on with his pajama top. She sits on the bed and studies him. She see's tiredness but there's light behind his eyes, rather than the dullness of exhaustion which was there yesterday.

"Do you need to sleep?"

"No, I'm fine, I slept after I called you until they moved me. Besides I have a cup of tea coming."

She smiles.

"Yes you do."

She picks up the bag on the floor.

"I also brought you some magazines."

"Thank you."

He shuffles a little to the side and pats the space beside him.

"I don't want to hurt you Patrick."

"You won't. I've missed you."

"Are you sure that it won't get you weaker tea."

He shrugs his shoulders.

"You heard the woman, doctors orders, she took her leverage away right then. Besides you're worth the price."

She steps out of her shoes and climbs on to the bed and into his arms. Carefully she rests her head on his chest. She closes her eyes and listens to the steady beat of his heart and mentally whispers a thank you.

Doctor Polly enters the Patrick Jane's room. He's dressed in light beige casual trousers and a white and light green finely striped button down shirt, the sleeves rolled up just below the elbow. She's taken back to last time she dismissed him from hospital, Then he was dressed in suit trousers, a light blue shirt and a waistcoat. She mentally shakes her head, that she remembers is a testament to the man sitting on the bed in front of her. But then she hasn't had many patients like Patrick Jane. She corrects herself, she hasn't had any patient like Patrick Jane. He came in to her life as a battered man, who'd been through hell. The physical torture was plain to see on his body, and as the doctors worked on him a quiet reverence had fallen on the room as his injuries testified to what he'd been through. That they were treating him was a witness to his strength.

What wasn't visible was evidence that physical torture had not been enough for his captor, he'd also sought to degrade him and fill him with shame. This had almost had the most damaging effects, as the shame drove Patrick to hate himself, to push help away, push those closest to him away, and lead him down a path of self-destruction.

She looks to Teresa Lisbon, sat on the bed next to him, she has a magazine in her hand, from which she was sharing something with him but she set it down as Doctor Polly entered the room. If not for this woman, this story may well have had a very different ending. Doctor Polly knew about Patrick's past by the time he was conscious and knew that she was in for a challenge. She read about his stint in the mental hospital and wondered if his ordeal would send him there once more. From the start she could tell that Patrick was closing in on himself, that it would be a hard road to open him up, but it soon became obvious that he held a strong connection to his partner, who barely left his side, and it quickly became clear that she would be the key to his recovery. Teresa never gave up on him, despite his attempts to push her away. She knew how to reach him and she continued until she achieved it.

To Doctor Polly it was obvious they loved each other and from the talk around the coffee machine they were the only ones who didn't know it. But all that has changed, they're engaged, deeply in love and Patrick is ready to live in a different world. A world where Red John is behind bars, never to be released, put there by Patrick, when Red John attacked him once more in the hospital bed. In fact from what she's learned he allowed himself to be a target, relying on his colleagues to rescue him in time. Now she can also give him a clean bill of health, a few weeks of slow recuperation is all it should take to complete his recovery.

"How come you're dressed, it's not official that you're leaving."

Patrick beams at her.

"Positive thinking, and I'm leaving today, whether you give me the all clear or not?"

As she expects Teresa objects:

"No you're not, you're only leaving if the doctor says it's okay."

Patrick looks at Teresa, smiles a 'that's what you think' smile and looks back at the doctor, who's studying his chart. She's read the information that she needs ten times before Patrick coughs and she looks up. She frowns at him.

"There's something here that I don't understand, I would like a test done just to check it out before I feel I can discharge you."

Patrick stares at her and then smiles.

"You're going to have to do a lot better than that to fool me doctor…good try though."

"You can go home Patrick and restart your life. The nurse has the discharge papers ready and the medicines you need to take home. I instructed them to have them ready so you could go home as soon as I'd been in."

Patrick jumps off the bed.

"Whoo oo!"

Quickly he has the Doctor enveloped in a hug. He pulls away.

"Thanks doctor for everything you've done. Not just being a doctor but a friend too. Keep an eye out for a wedding invitation."

It takes Doctor Polly a moment to recover herself.

"Thank you, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Just take each day one step at a time, as long as you don't rush things you should be fine in eight weeks and be able to live a normal life."

Patrick's reply is heartfelt.

"A normal life will be good."

Teresa interjects.

"I'm certain my life will never be normal again. Thank you for everything and I'll make sure he behaves."

"Good luck."

Patrick answers:

"Thank you."

Doctor Polly nods her head towards Teresa.

"I was talking to her."

She smiles and opens the door.

"Take care the two of you."

And then she's gone.

Patrick and Teresa look at one another. Jane leans in and gives her a kiss.

"I'm looking forward to you taking care of me."

"That's what you say now, in two days you'll be calling me a spoil sport and a jailer."

Patrick looks at her in horror.

"I disagree, it'll take at least four days."

"I better make the most of these four days and then ear plugs and a gun for the rest."

"Always good to have a plan."

A nurse enters with discharge papers and medicines and they're soon on their way home. As Teresa drives out the car park Jane resists an urge to have one last look, he takes Teresa's hand and gives it a squeeze.

"I believe we have a ring to buy."

Teresa rolls her eyes.

"Don't start, you promised me four days."

Jane sighs. Teresa looks at him out of the corner of her eye.

"There's always the internet…"


	27. Chapter 27

Patrick reaches in to the cupboard and brings down two mugs, in one placing his tea bag. He lifts the pot of the coffee machine and pours the brown liquid into the second cup. The Kettle sings and he fill up his cup, Once they are both ready he places them on the breakfast tray, on which there are a plate of eggs and a muffin and a glass of orange juice. He picks it up and carefully makes his way down the hall to the bedroom. With a little difficulty, he manages to open the door.

"Woo ooh wakey wakey, breakfast."

He smiles as Lisbon blinks and then stares at him with waking confusion in her eyes.

"Morning sleepy-head, sit up and move over, you are a bed thief, do you know that. I'm certain that when we start sharing a bed I'm going to end up on the floor nearly every night."

Lisbon sits up and scowls at him.

"What's wrong Teresa, it's a beautiful day."

He carefully lays the tray across her lap and takes his drink. He picks up her coffee with his other hand, and hands it to her.

"Here take a sip of your morning leveler, you know you'll feel better."

Teresa obediently takes it from him and takes a sip. She knows that the caffeine hasn't really hit her system yet but feeling the liquid slide down her throat is all she needs to bring her equilibrium up. Patrick gently lowers himself on the bed beside her. She looks at the tray.

"Thank you for breakfast but you shouldn't have done it, you need to rest."

Patrick nods towards the tray.

"Eat up before it goes cold."

Teresa takes up the fork and scoops up some of the eggs. As she puts them into her mouth, she almost moans from their creamy texture and delicate flavour. She's spent years with Patrick obsession with eggs until she lost all desire to eat any, but after much badgering she finally tried a forkful of his and reluctantly declared them divine.

"How are you feeling today? Are you in much pain?"

"I'm good Teresa, very good. The pain is down to just a twinge."

He reaches out and strokes her hair.

"Stop worrying. I'm fine. The operation was a success. There's been no problems with my recovery, I've been a good boy…"

Teresa splutters out the egg she's just put in her mouth, she also inhaled some, causing a coughing fit. Seeing that the coffee nor the orange juice will do the job, Patrick puts down his tea and moves quickly to the bathroom and returns with a tumbler of water. He hands it to her and she takes some sips while Patrick rubs her back. Once she feels able to speak she looks at him, her face is red, her eyes are watering and her voice comes out croaky.

"A good boy? You done nothing but whine."

Patrick passes her a tissue and puts on a good hurt expression.

"Now that's not true. First I gave you the four days I promised and I haven't whined too much, and I haven't done anything to risk my recovery."

Teresa reluctantly has to agree to that.

"I guess you haven't, you've just given me sore ears and stretched my patience."

"And I'll make it up to you. But you need to stop worrying."

"I'm not worrying."

"Yes you are, you're scared that something else will go wrong."

As Teresa opens her mouth to protest, he stops her.

"Yes you are, and it's understandable, you've seen me suffer a lot over the last few months, but I'm well, and a few more weeks I'll be back to normal. Doctor Polly's an excellent doctor, don't you agree?"

"Yes."

"Then trust her. I look good, don't I?"

Teresa looks at him and she has to admit, his colour is good, the paleness of when he came home's gone, and so has the strain and tension caused by the pain.

"Yes, you do. I'm sorry, have I been hovering?"

A small smile crosses Patrick's face as he traces his fingers down her arm.

"Just a little, but I love you for it."

Patrick picks up his cup and swallows the rest of his tea. He puts the cup back down and claps his hands.

"So what are we going to do today?"

Teresa looks at him suspiciously and he beams at her.

"You already have something in mind."

"I confess, I do, if you haven't got a better idea, and I know you didn't have one last night."

Teresa can't resist returning his smile. It thrills her to see him smile even as it fills her with foreboding as well.

"I think we should change plans."

Teresa looks at him suspiciously.

"The 'you going back to work at the end of the month' plans."

"Those were your plans Patrick, I haven't made any such plans."

He smiles even wider.

"That's even better."

He leans over and gives her kiss. He takes the finished breakfast off her lap.

"You get dressed."

Before Teresa can protest he's gone. She flings back the covers and makes her way to the bathroom. Patrick isn't in the living room when she's ready, he answers her call from the kitchen. She enters to find a map laid out on the kitchen counter. Patrick is putting dots on the map with a black marker pen. Teresa smiles at the sight of his tongue peeking out, showing his concentration.

"I don't think you're quite up to world travel at the moment Patrick."

He straightens up and comes towards her, grabbing her by the hand and pulls her towards the map.

"No, but I think by the end of the eight weeks of allotted recovery imprisonment. I'll be.."

He uses he fingers as quote marks.

" 'Up to' a honeymoon."

Patrick smiles at the look of shock on Teresa's face and as she starts to protest he holds up a hand.

"Here me out. It seems ridiculous to start back to work and then be off again in a few months for our honeymoon, why not get married now and take it before we go back to work. It'll be easier to organize the wedding now, rather than, in between cases and I want to celebrate my clean bill of health as your husband."

Teresa frowns.

"It's a lot of work, organizing a wedding, this short notice."

"It's a lot of work organizing a wedding period, and when will you have a better time to do it."

Teresa is scanning the map.

"Are these your suggestions for a honeymoon?"

"Yes, mark the places you've always wanted to go and we can take it from there. Plan our route."

Patrick hands her a red marker pen, she takes it and begins studying the map.

Patrick rubs his hand down his jacket, he sits down and is up again after just a few seconds. Rigsby smiles to himself, he's never seen him like this. Jane turns and looks at the almost empty pews, a church wedding isn't his type of thing but he did it for Angela and it wasn't too bad. He has to admit it's a pretty church. He's glad Teresa didn't choose a big church, this small chapel is intimate and not too garishly decorated. Pete and Sam walk in and Patrick lifts his arm in welcome. As they make their way down Pete is looking like he will bolt should anyone say a word to him. He looks around furtively, as if he's worried about who might see him in this place. When they reach the pew behind Patrick he reaches out and takes Pete by the hand.

"Thank you for coming, I know it's not your type of place, I really appreciate it."

Sam give him a kiss on the cheek.

"We wouldn't miss it for the world. It's wonderful that you're finding happiness again."

She looks him directly in the eye.

"I can tell you are happy."

"Very happy Sam. I can't believe I've been given another chance."

"I had a feeling when I first saw you two, but Pete said. Patrick will never marry a cop!"

Patrick lets out a laugh at Sam's impression of her husband.

"I can't blame him, I can hardly believe it myself."

He turns to his Best man.

"This is Wayne Rigsby.."

Pete looks him up and down.

"Cop too huh?"

Patrick's rubbing his hands together.

"I'm afraid so."

He smiles when he hears Pete whisper to Sam after shaking hands with him.

"I'm going to have to have another bath when I get home. Get all this cop off me."

Patrick's eye turns to the other side of the chapel and is happy to see a few more people there. Her brothers and their families have each made it. It took some diplomacy, but he can be very persuasive when it's needed. They're even talking to one another.

Doctor Polly is making her way down the aisle. She comes up to Patrick and kisses him on the cheek.

"Thank you for coming doc, it wouldn't be the same without you."

"Thank you for the invitation, I'm glad to see you didn't waste any time."

"Wasted enough time all ready."

Doctor Polly nods her head in understanding and slips into the pew behind Pete and Sam, joining her companion.

Suddenly the music strikes and everyone stands up, turning their heads to look down the aisle. Patrick rubs his hands on his jacket once more and looks too. Annie, with Grace not far behind, is walking slowly towards him. They have in their hands a single flower, pale pink rose for Annie and a darker pink for Grace. The men are wearing white ones in their buttonholes. Their dresses are a simple line in cream, no lace, or trimmings of any kind. Patrick smiles to himself, that's Teresa, no fuss. Although they've planned the wedding together, she kept him completely in the dark when it came to the dresses, but judging by the other arrangements he guessed that lace and puffed sleeves would not be on view.

They each give him a smile as they reach the front and move off to the side. His eyes return to the back of the chapel and she's standing there, with Cho by her side.

At the sight of her a warmth fills his whole being, the nervousness of moments before, replaced with confidence that everything's all right, better than all right. She didn't run, she didn't decided that she couldn't live with him, she doesn't not love him.

He can feel his smile stretch his face to its limits as he gazes upon her. Her hair is swept up in that casual, wispy, style that he finds so sexy, with a sparkling berrette keeping it in place. There's no veil hiding her beautiful shining eyes. Her white sleeveless wedding dress gathers under the breastbone, the satin material is fitted around her body, accentuating her delicate figure before widening and falling to the ground like a waterfall of soft icing. In her arms she holds a bouquet of roses, shades of pink and white.

Teresa isn't aware of the people looking at her as she makes her way slowly down the aisle, she can't tear her eyes away from the man waiting for her. He's here! He's really here! All the way to the chapel she had a fear that one of her brother's would be standing there, waiting to tell her that he hadn't shown, that he'd found it too much, that he felt he was betraying Angela and Charlotte. She realises now, that she was being a fool, the look on his face, as he watches her progression, testifies of the love he feels for her. There's no mistaking it in his expression, his eyes and his smile. He's holding out his hand to her, she feels Cho's hold on her tighten as she fights back the urge to run to take it. She's there and his touch sends an electric volt through her. She intertwines her fingers with his, knowing she never wants to let go. He whispers in her ear.

"You are stunning."

She smiles at him and hands off her bouquet to Grace. As they turn towards the preacher, she realises, she doesn't know what he's wearing, out of the corner of her eye she can see its dark blue, setting off the white rose beautifully and that there's no waistcoat. The preacher steps forward and she takes a deep breath knowing that she's never been happier.

Teresa kicks off her shoes as Patrick shuts the hotel room door, glad that she doesn't have to put them on again. She feels him grab her wrist and she turns to face him. He takes her in his arms, replicating the dance hold of earlier.

"You've been holding out on me Mr. Jane. I didn't know you could dance like that."

"Why Mrs. Jane, if I recall, you've danced with me before."

"Oh, you mean at the end of the school reunion case, when we went round and round on a dime."

Patrick looks hurt.

"I've treasured that memory for years and that's how you saw it?"

Teresa kisses him.

"Tonight you wowed every woman in the room. It was nice of you to dance with Catherine."

"Catherine, you will have to remind me, there were so many."

"Catherine Polly."

"The Doc? Did you see how the old man was able to keep up with her?"

"Yes, I thought it was irresponsible of her, so soon after the operation."

"If my heart was going to give out it would have done it when I first saw you at the Chapel."

Teresa wraps her arms around his neck.

"Mr. Jane, you say the sweetest things."

Patrick unclips her hair, it falls gracefully on to her shoulders.

"Mrs. Jane, just wait until you see what I can do."

His hands move to the back of her dress and he slowly unfastens the zipper. He gently moves his fingers along her shoulder, feeling her shudder beneath his touch. He lifts her into his arms and kisses her deeply as he makes his way over to the bed. He gently lays her down, he shrugs out of his jacket, steps out of his shoes and joins her on the bed.


End file.
